


Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

by Hey_Minari



Category: JeongMi - Fandom, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Austria, Belgium (Country), Cebu Province - The Philippines (Almost Paradise), Europe, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, France (Country), Germany, Healing, Japan, Korean War, Mentioned TWICE Ensemble, Smut, The Netherlands, World War I, World War II, hehe jeongmi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:09:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29082918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hey_Minari/pseuds/Hey_Minari
Summary: A Jeongmi au where Myoui Mina, a japanese singer/actress in South Korea, chooses the most random place to escape to. She finds herself in a remote town in Austria living next door to a gorgeous neighbour - a half korean, half belgian beauty that could end any model’s career named Yoo Jeongyeon.Can a shattered heart heal a broken soul?~~~~~~~~~~I apologise for deleting this fic. I really regret what I did. I re-uploaded all chapters, and Chapter 9 is now available. I will continue writing this jeongmi au. It's not over until it's over!🐶💚🐧 hehe jeongmi
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Myoui Mina, Hirai Momo/Yoo Jeongyeon, Im Nayeon/Jackson Wang, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Myoui Mina, Myoui Mina/Yoo Jeongyeon
Comments: 62
Kudos: 78





	1. RUNAWAY

_"When the warmth disappears_  
_When it's been one of those years_  
_When you're running from the truth_  
_because your scared of what you might find_  
_When your heart's beyond repair_  
_When you wake and no ones there_  
_When your home consists of only you_  
_Is there anything worth holding on to"_

Anything Worth Holding On To  
by Cynthia Erivo feat. Scott Alan

  
  


________

She’s sick and tired of it. The fast-pacing time that never slows down. It feels like she’s always on the run after that hand of clock that never stops ticking away.

She checks her clock and notes it’s 15 minutes before boarding. She tilts her cap and secretly looks within her periphery. No one seems to notice her. She lets out a sigh of relief and crosses her legs as she checks on my emails. It’s jam-packed! In distress, she closes her iPad and takes a deep breath. She badly needs an exit. She wishes a portal will just swallow her below her feet and transports her to a dimension no one knows about.

Looking back, she vaguely remembers the day she debuted as a rookie performer. The idea of fulfilling her dreams consumed her and she took any possible opportunity that came along – TV and radio guestings, commercials, photoshoots. She even did side jobs in the beginning of her career and sang at weddings. To her it was but a chance to promote herself. She overworks herself to the point of exhaustion. But after eight years, the entertainment industry finally tires her.

In those eight years she missed so much in her life – her youth. She wasn't able to finish studying due to her tight schedule. She moved from school to school and failed to make friends around her age in middle school. She entered show business at the tender age of 15 and since then she has never slowed down. All her hard work paid off as she has won numerous awards since her debut, both from her singing and acting career. 

Yet, as she stares at herself in the mirror, she pities the woman she has become.

Despite everything she has accomplished, Myoui Mina feels hollow inside.

It is lonely at the top. Being an artist of her caliber places her in a position where she’s a constant target of scrutiny. Her name is subjected to many controversies. Even the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted to the delight of critics whose only goal seems to discredit her. People who despise her will tear her down for the simplest of reasons like dating someone or even giving donations. You will be amazed at the dedication of these antis. Imagine the amount of time they spend on searching for flaws.

But artists can get hurt too from battle between fandoms. That is one thing most fans fail to see. Artists are also humans- criticisms, curses and threats, at one point or another, hurt them too. There were idols who succumbed to despair and eventually ended their lives. And to Mina, that thought is no stranger at all as it has crossed her mind so many times.

She gathers up her belongings when she hears the call to board. She repositions her mouth mask and walks towards the boarding gate. She hands in her passport and ticket and the lady checking my papers is obviously in shock. _“Miss M!”_ but she barely makes a sound. She looks into the lady’s eyes and gently shakes her head. The lady nods. She gives Mina back her travel documents and mouths “I’m your fan.” Mina pulls her mouth mask down, smiles, and says _“ thank you ”_ before putting it back up and moving forward.

After finding her seat, Mina checks her phone. She got missed calls from the company and her manager. She initially planned to ignore them all but can’t. She makes a short call with the company and explains her manager will bring in the papers needed for her indefinite leave. The company can only approve her hiatus after threatening them she will quit. Mina is their main money maker after all, and they can not afford to lose her. And so they wish her healing and hope for her soon safe return. She then calls her manager Park Jihyo to inform her she’s already inside the plane. She can feel the worry in Jihyo’s voice and she reassures her she will be fine. She may be 23 years old but to her Mina is a little girl that needs constant assistance. Jihyo reminds her about her medications and to take care of herself. Mina has never been alone by herself. She’s used to being given what she needs. And she’s not happy about that. She became too dependent on others for her own good.

Mina puts her earphones on and listens to Elgar’s Salut d’amour . She opens her book where her bookmark lies and continues reading. After some time she feels drowsy. Seems like the burden is temporarily lifted off her shoulders as the idea of escaping her reality is materializing before her very eyes. She feels herself drifting into slumber and it feels good. It’s been a long time since she has fallen asleep without quetiapine .

The flight is long and she spends most of her time sleeping or reading a book. They have a stopover in Brussels International Airport. Mina stretches her back, it hurts a lot from sitting for a lengthy period. She checks her phone and notes that Brussels and Seoul have a 7-hour time difference. She feels the pang of jetlag already. She wants to nap but is worried that she might miss her flight if she does so.

She looks around and notices some japanese-looking people. They don’t seem to recognize her - which is good. She fixes her attention on her iPad and starts reading news from South Korea. As expected it is out of control. Her absence has been blown out of proportion. Some paparazzis claim to have seen her looking sick and tired, some claim to have caught her secretly dating another artist, etc. etc. But one article really crossed the line, it says that she left the country to have a secret abortion. These people are really sick. How can they sleep at night with what they’re doing to other people’s lives?

She takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. Mina is on the verge of crying but tries to keep herself together. Now more than ever, she badly needs to get away from everything, and everyone.

  
  


________

Jeongyeon is too early for her flight. Perhaps it is better if she goes with the car, she contemplates. She shakes her head in disagreement. It will take her around 10 hours to arrive at her destination - Austria. From Belgium she needs to travel across the Luxembourg and Germany. She knows that she can not make it alone. It’s too risky as she might fall asleep on the road while driving that long. Going by plane is a much safer choice - and faster too! But now there’s nothing that she can do other than wait.

She looks around her and observes the bustle and hustle in the airport. She takes a seat and makes herself comfortable. All these people are going somewhere. Maybe going home, leaving home, looking for a home, or just like her – escaping.

Everyone is going on with their daily lives. She watches a young couple hold hands and smile at each other. “Ah! Young love,” she thinks to herself. And then there’s this middle aged man who seems very agitated, maybe his flight is delayed or worse he missed it. On the corner is a woman with a child in a buggy- perhaps going for a vacation somewhere. But for someone going on a vacation, she looks too sad. Or, yes, it could be. Another broken family. She feels a tug in her heart. A lot like her.

Then someone catches her attention. A lone lady sitting on the bench with her cap on, covering her eyes. She seems unperturbed with what’s going on around her. So engrossed in reading. It might have been a while now that she is staring at her that the lady takes her by surprise when she looks back at her.

Those mysterious eyes stared back at her, and for a moment Jeongyeon feels like she wants to freeze time. The lady intrigues her deeply. But that moment was short-lived as she looks back down and continues on what she is doing.

Later on Jeongyeon boards the plane and to her delight, so does the lady! So they are both going to Austria. Her seat was on the same row as Jeongyeon's and for the entire flight she steals glances to check how she is. The lady takes off her cap and mask. Oh boy! She’s gorgeous! Jeongyeon swears she has never seen a woman as beautiful as her. Her delicate classy features stand out in the crowd. Her elongated and oval shaped face with a sharp and fine jawline, those innocent-looking eyes, slightly tilted down somehow makes her look sad and vulnerable. She runs her fingers through her hair as she reads her book. Her hair falling perfectly on the side of her neck, like silk. Jeongyeon was mesmerized.

Then, the lady turns to her direction.

Jeongyeon quickly looks away and tries never to look her way again. She might get the wrong idea and think she’s some kind of a creep. But to be fair, Jeongyeon is not the only one who is in awe with such a head-turner as she.

  
  


________

When the plane lands, Mina takes a cab and checks-in in a hotel. She is so exhausted to travel farther so she calls the house-owner to inform she has arrived but will only come the following day as she is tired. It is not a problem for the house-owner and she wishes her safe travel and good rest. For the rest of the day Mina just stayed in the hotel. She is not in the mood to go out and roam around in Salzburg. She badly needs rest.

She sits in front of the mirror and starts taking her makeup off her face. She stares at her reflection and feels her emotion building up. It is all lies. This image she has – is just a bubble. She is like a cup of cappuccino. Will her fans love her still without the froth? Ever since her debut her image has been carefully “manufactured” by the management to satisfy the viewing public. She has always felt like she is living someone else’s life.

She is never free to do what she wants. She can not even go on a normal date, or have a normal relationship. They are always careful not to “taint” her picture-perfect image. _Yeah right, as if I only live for this image,_ she thinks to herself.

As she checks her phone again, she sees Bambam’s message pop-up. She swipes it off and places her phone face-down. Even with her eyes closed, she can see his face clearly. That worried look he definitely has right now knowing she went incognito.

Bambam.

Tears came rolling down her cheeks as she slowly drifted to sleep when her medicine started to take effect. She’s tired with her soul broken.

  
  


________

As soon as the plane lands in Salzburg, Jeongyeon takes her luggage and goes to get the car that she has rented. It will take about two hours to arrive in Neustift Im Stubaital. She searches the crowd for the lady but she’s already gone, so it seems. She wants to shake her off of her head. She’s just one of those people you meet at the airport, they’re all just passing by.

It’s already 10 in the evening when she arrives at the house that she rented. The sky still has a stain of pink in it, as the day can not seem to let go and give up for the night. She unloads the trunk and carries her stuff inside. She is so tired that she falls asleep as soon as her body touches the bed.

Physically and psychologically exhausted.

  
  


________

With her medicine's help, Mina is able to get some decent sleep. However, anxiety found its way back as soon as she opened her eyes. Mina is now anxious about how she will be doing, alone in Austria. She is not used to being on her own. She is ashamed to admit that she doesn't know how to do anything – except making money. She doesn't know how to cook or do laundry. Anything at all. She’s very worried if she can manage this challenge she signed herself up for. And now she’s contemplating how hasty her decision is. She remembers she forgot to take citalopram on time.

The car arrives at 10am. The drive is long and smooth. The chauffeur asks a few questions now and then which she timidly answered. He’s such a friendly old man, like those funny granddads you see on TV. Mina can see how he wants to keep the conversation going but isn’t confident in speaking English. And although Mina does speak the language, she’s too shy to use it. 

They arrive past 12 at noon. The old man helps her bring her luggage to the house. She thanks him and says she’ll contact him again if ever she needs his service. The owner of the house is waiting for her. Mina guesses she’s in her 70s. A lovely woman with wrinkles from decades of smiling. She’s very accommodating and warm. The old woman guesses Mina hasn’t eaten yet and prepared lunch for her as a welcome meal. She keeps complimenting her with how beautiful Mina is, saying she probably is the most beautiful asian woman she has ever seen. Mina blushes with her kind words and graciously thanks her generosity. Although receiving compliments is not new to her, receiving genuine ones are hard to find.

Mina is comforted by the older woman’s kindness. She asks how Mina's flight went and how she is feeling. She also gives her a tourist map to use if she ever wants to roam around. She makes suggestions and Mina carefully writes them in her notebook.

Mina learns that her name is Maria and she is in fact 82 years old. She lives with her husband closeby and offers Mina company if ever she feels lonely. Maria is half-asian. Mina thinks maybe it’s because of that that they are drawn to each other. Maria’s father was Belgian and her mother was a Filipina. They used to live in Cebu, Philippines until she turned 18 and the family decided to settle for good in Belgium. Her husband Johan is Austrian, that’s why she’s here. Maria and her husband Johan’s children chose to stay in the city while both of them decided to retire in the countryside.

Mina wants that too for herself.

  
  


________

The early bird Jeongyeon wakes up at 5am and goes hiking up in the mountains. There’s nothing better than a good dose of phytoncides to relieve yourself from stress, that’s what her dad always says. This is nature’s healing at its best. It’s still cold in the morning although it is already the middle of July. Far in the distance she can see how the Alps are still capped with snow. That’s why evenings and mornings here are still chilly. I took pictures from time to time. And honestly, she wants to give herself a pat on her shoulder for deciding to come here.

After a few hours, Jeongyeon comes back to the house and has some sandwich and milk. (What they call as sandwich here is a bread that looks similar to pan de sal, but it is sweeter and rather soft in texture). She showers and then goes to the grocery store to get supplies.

When she returned, she noticed two cars parked in front of the house beside the one she’s renting. She hopes my neighbours are friendly and kind. After waiting for a couple of minutes and seeing nobody, Jeongyeon proceeds inside.

Jeongyeon has always been the independent one even since they were young. Despite being the youngest of the three siblings, she’s bolder than her older sisters. She unloads the grocery and arranges them on the cupboard. Then makes lunch for herself.

After eating her lunch of steak and potatoes, Jeongyeon decides to lazily lay in the hammock in the backyard. This is perfect, staying under the shade and just listening to nothing but the breeze. Serenity.

She wants to keep it that way and think of nothing, but her memories fail her. And once again she’s back to that moment . . .

_//flashback//_

_. . . I know things were changing between us even before she admitted she’s falling out of love. I could tell it by way she kisses me that the feeling is no longer there. I could hear by the way she says I love you that she doesn’t mean it anymore._

_Sana and Momo told me she’s cheating on me but I dismissed the thought. However as time goes by I could no longer numb my heart and keep my head the other way. It’s becoming more real that I could not ignore it any longer._

_I was the one who held her hands when he ran away. I was the one who stood by her side when he would not. I was the one who swore to love her even in her lowest of lows. I was there. I know from the very start she loved someone else. But when she said she’ll learn to love me, I put everything on the line._

_I married her when she was three months pregnant. And throughout the pregnancy I was the one with her, for her. Treating her daughter as my own._

_For the past three years that we’ve been married I was never but loyal to our wedding vows. I loved her, cherished her. And our daughter Chaeyoung became my reason for living. I literally raised her. And my days would never be complete without hearing her call me “Mommy.”_

_But she chose to break my heart when she chose him over me. She just couldn’t choose me. She said she wanted to give Chaeyoung a normal life, normal family with her birth father. What kind of bullshit is that? That man literally ran away from her she she needed him most. And now she's entrusting out daughter to him?_

_The house that we used to call our home became empty that day she left. She made it clear I was never the one. I was merely the other person. She needed me. She needed me then, but she doesn’t need me anymore._

_She said she was sorry for putting me through all these pain. But no amount of apology can make up this hurt. And when she said goodbye, I knew it was the last._

_Our three years of marriage has been deduced to ashes. All my hopes and plans for us dissipated into thin air. I was most angry with myself for not being my best. From strangers to friends, friends to lovers. From lovers to strangers, again. How could I let her drift away from me. I could have tried harder. But I couldn’t make her stay. Her heart doesn’t belong to me. Not anymore. No. It was never mine. She was never mine._

_I watched Nayeon walk towards the door. She looked at me with guilt in her eyes. Last thing I heard was the sound of the door closing._

_That’s the sound of Nayeon closing the chapter with her in my life._

  
_//end of flashback//_  
  


  
  


________

Mina’s first week was spent mostly inside the house. She is anxious about going out. Maria visits her everyday to check on how she is doing. She will bring home-cooked meals and they will chit chat over coffee. She encourages Mina to go out and enjoy Austria and the latter promises her she will.

With Maria around Mina feels a little at ease. She slowly loosens up and goes out. She will help Mina with picking up groceries since she doesn't know how to speak German and not confident in communicating in English either.

On other days Mina will go to a cafe by herself or to a nearby library. Maria taught her how to get around the area with the bus since she doesn't drive. Mina is a very introverted person, but she opened up quite easily to Maria and Johan. They are such a kind and sincere couple and they respect her decision not to talk about personal stuff. Mina is scared to tell them about it. They do know that she comes from Japan and she’s here to rest. Maria genuinely feels like a grandmother-figure to her, and Mina is happy she considers her as a granddaughter. It is comforting. Mina is amazed at how two people from different cultures and with such age difference can become good friends. No judgments, just acceptance.

As days pass by, Mina wonders how she never gets to see my neighbours yet. Though she could see a car in the front yard, the house seems too silent.

With Maria egging her on, she decided to take care of a dog – Maria’s dog actually. She honestly doesn’t know how Maria learned about her anxiety. She said that she could see her panicking when they go out and meet a lot of people. She respects that Mina doesn't want to talk about it. But she suggested that having a companion at home will help her. Dogs are great comforters. They will never judge you. They love selflessly. Ray is such a sweet dog. He’s a 6-year old dachshund that loves cuddles.

Mina has been diagnosed with anxiety for years now. It’s a disorder that she developed through her work. And how slowly her love to perform on the stage became a dreaded moment. She gets anxious just by looking at the crowd and hearing people scream. She would drown in that scream and leave her nothing but agony. Before going on stage, Mina has to take pills to calm her nerves.

She has seen doctors and psychologists but it’s becoming severe. Reading the news makes it even worse. Do these people who write negative stuff about really think I don’t feel anything? I’m human too!

Mina would wake up from her dead sleep with her heart pounding hard against her chest. She would constantly check if every window or door is locked. She gets scared to go out and prefers to lay in bed if she could all day long.

Her anxiety erupts for reasons like remembering the things she have said during an interview or being followed by paparazzis. Her mood would flip in a matter of minutes. She would have uncontrollable tremors and nausea. Worse comes to worse, she’s been diagnosed lately with depression. Medicine becomes her lifeline. That’s when she decided she needs a breather.

Due to her depression, she has a hard time falling back asleep once she wakes up. She also often has breakdowns. And in those moments Ray would snuggle close to her. He wouldn’t leave her side, as if offering a shoulder for Mina to cry on.

Mina has always projected a calm and collected demeanour but deep inside she is crushed. Having Ray with her helped her through the episodes of brokenness.

  
  


________

In such lovely weather as this, Jeongyeon decides to work a bit on the front yard. The flowers need to be trimmed and watered. The sky is azure and the sun isn’t too hot in the morning. Such a bliss!

Jeongyeon sees an elder woman walk towards her. She stops what she is doing and bows before the older one. They greeted each other. The stranger greeted her in german and Jeongyeon replies she doesn’t speak the language and that she is belgian. The old lady says she’s half-belgian and she’ll speak to the younger one in dutch then. Jeongyeon smiles at her and said, _“Dat is veel beter”_. (That is a lot better.)

She introduced herself and so did Jeongyeon. Maria owns the house next to where Jeongyeon is staying and asks her to look after her beloved renter as she is alone. She’s a foreigner too just like her and doesn’t have any friends except her and her husband. Come to think of it, Jeongyeon hasn't met her neighbor yet! And she's been here for more than a week now.

Maria and Jeongyeon talk further about the flowers. She said that it is great to see such a beautiful young woman taking interest in them. Not worried about getting her hands dirty or be hurt while gardening. Something that is rare these days, she adds. Jeongyeon tells her she has always been fascinated by plants. Maria says she and her husband, too. She even asks the latter to help her take care of their backyard. Jeongyeon gladly accepted. Who can say no to this charming old lady?

She asks Jeongyeon to take a look and guides her towards the backyard. And yes, it does need some weeding. There are a lot of fruit trees and berry bushes that her husband planted. But due to old age they can no longer take care of it that much anymore as they also have another house to tend.

Just when Jeongyeon was about to leave, a dog aggressively runs up to her and jumps on her - taking her by surprise. Maria panics and starts yelling at the dog but doesn't know exactly what to do.

Jeongyeon is too shocked to notice the woman trying to take the dog away from her.

_“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”_ she bows several times in apology.

Wait.

It’s her!

  
  


________

Sipping her coffee, Mina notices Ray’s ears perk up and suddenly he stands up in full alert mode. Before she can call out his name, he suddenly rushes towards the back door, Mina trailing after him. It all goes too fast as the last thing she sees is Ray attacking a lady and Maria panicking.

Mina wastes no time and grabs Ray before he can bite the stranger.

Mina bows several times over and keeps saying, _“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”_

Maria also apologises to the lady who Mina later on finds out to be her neighbour. She says it’s fine as she isn’t bitten. But she does look flustered. Ray is very protective of Mina and thought that her neighbour is an intruder. The lady says she understood and says she should first gain Ray’s trust.

In the commotion, Mina doesn’t get to take a full look at her. And now that she has, she feels as if she has seen her somewhere before. She just can’t pinpoint it but she looks familiar.

Jeongyeon's eyes meet Mina’s and the smaller girl can see how she seems to have recognised her too. Oh! Now she remembers. She was that beautiful stranger at the airport!

_//flashback//_

_It was in Brussels International Airport during a layover. Mina was checking her emails when she felt like someone was watching her. And true enough she saw a woman, a beautiful woman at that, looking at her direction. Honestly, it isn’t new to her anymore as she often gets it as a celebrity. But for the first time she was drawn to that gaze. She remembered seeing her again on the same plane she was in. Mina started to think she was a paparazzi but she never once took a photo. Maybe a fan? If so, she could have come up to her._

_But one thing is for sure, she’s someone you couldn’t simply ignore. The stranger looked like a celebrity herself!_

_//end of flashback//_

  
  


_“I’m really sorry about that.”_ Mina apologises. _“Ray is normally a very gentle dog. I don’t know why he’s suddenly aggressive towards you. I’ll keep him on leash.”_

_“It’s seriously fine. You weren’t aware I was here. And your dog acted on instinct to protect you.”_ Jeongyeon replies. And added she’ll gain Ray’s trust as they are neighbours after all.

_“By the way, you look quiet familiar to me. I think we’ve met before.”_ Mina says. She sees the corners of her mouth formed into a smile.

_“I think so too. We were on the same flight from Brussels.”_

Mina is deep in her thoughts about this lady that she forgets Maria is also with them. She really forgot about her until she interjected in their conversation.

_“Wait a minute. What have I been missing?”_ Maria looks back and forth at Jeongyeon and Mina in confusion. _“You two know each other?”_

The lady laughs at Maria’s reaction and answers they were on the same flight but didn’t really get to talk. And in saying so, she extends her arm to Mina and introduces herself, “I wasn’t able to introduce myself last time. I’m Jeongyeon, and you are?”

Oh, so her name is Jeongyeon. Sounds like a korean name . Mina smiles back and shakes her hand, _“Nice to meet you. I’m Mina.”_

Maria places her hands together to her chest and giggles like a little girl and says something Mina does not understand. Jeongyeon winks at her and she giggles more.

_“Hello, Mina. It’s a pleasure to finally know your name.”_ Jeongyeon smiles.

_“Hi, Jeongyeon. What a coincidence to meet you here.”_ Mina smiles back.

  
  


________


	2. KOFFIE, THEE EN MI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mina is pretty much like her coffee – dark and strong with an air of mystery around her.
> 
> And Jeongyeon? She's just here for tea with Mi in this cozy austrian café.

_"So excuse me forgetting_   
_But these things I do_   
_You see I've forgotten, if they're green or they're blue_   
_Anyway the thing is, what I really mean_   
_Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen"_

Your Song  
by Elton John

  
  


________

Jeongyeon swears Teekanne Früchtetee is her new favorite tea. She loves the fine fruity aroma. She also likes to drink it cold and as it tastes like fruit juice. She places her tea mug on the terrace table, pats the cushion on the rattan chair before sitting down. She looks at her neighbour’s terrace but the lady isn’t there to be found. A smile is playing on her lips thinking how surprising life can be.

Jeongyeon is delighted to see her again. She genuinely thought she would never see her again. What of luck! Here of all places, at the most unexpected moment. What bewonders her most is how the moment she touched Mina’s hand she felt a wave of tranquility swept towards her.

_What an intriguing woman_ , Jeongyeon thinks.

After Jeongyeon’s failed marriage, she refuses to see anyone. It's been more than a year since their divorce was finalised but she never went on any dates. She’s been serially ghosting girls from the blind dates set up by her sappy gay couple friends, Dahyun and Sana. Jeongyeon chooses not to get romantically involved with anyone anymore and drown herself with work instead.

She owns a flower shop in the little city of Bruges. Bruges is ranked as the most romantic city in Europe not far behind Paris. The city’s peace and quiet, fantastic historic buildings, cobbled streets and beautiful canals on which you can take boat tours, will make you fall in love.

But in a city bursting with love and romance, a beautiful woman who advises on which flowers to pick and gives ideas of where it’s most romantic to propose in Bruges, is herself heart broken. Ironic, isn’t it?

Jeongyeon smiles as she remembers what Maria said back there, _“Ik heb het gevoel dat dit tot iets speciaals zal leiden.”_ (I have a feeling that this will lead to something special.) Jeongyeon wonders if Maria can tell that she’s not into men. Or maybe she misunderstood what the old woman meant by what she said. Jeongyeon bites her lower lip.

Taking a sip from her warm tea, Jeongyeon marvels at the cinematic view of the seemingly endless meadows that stretches for miles in front of her. From her terrace she also can see the Alps in the distance. Behind the snow-capped mountains is already Italy. The snow reminds her how Chaeyoung loves sledding. In winters they would go to the Ardenne so the munchkin can play with snow to her heart’s content. With all this beauty in front of her, she wishes her daughter is there to enjoy it with her. 

_“Hey!”_ a soft voice pulls her out of her thoughts.

_“Oh. Hey!”_ Jeongyeon replies, smiling back at her neighbour who’s shyly waving at her.

_“It’s beautiful here, huh? I love the view.”_

Jeongyeon is happy Mina started the conversation because she feels a little diffident. _“I know, right? I’ve made the right choice of coming here.”_

_“So did I!”_ Mina enthusiastically seconded. “I mean this," connecting her thumbs and index fingers together to make an imaginary camera screen , _"is picture perfect! It’s like watching a humongous idyllic painting but it’s real life."_ stretching her arms wide. _"I love watching the Alps from here.”_ Her eyes light up as she gazes at nature’s magnificence. 

Jeongyeon is fascinated by the asian woman’s fervour. She stands up and walks to the far end of the terrace, close to Mina’s own terrace. She props her elbows on the terrace railings and starts yodeling and humming the opening song of **Heidi** (the animated children's TV series).

Mina, recognizing the theme song of the popular children program, giggles and starts to sing along in japanese.

_Kuchibue wa Naze_   
_Tooku made Kikoeru no_   
_Ano kumo wa Naze_   
_Watashi wo Matteru no_   
_Oshiete Ojiisan_   
_Oshiete Ojiisan_   
_Oshiete Alm no Momi no ki yo_

Jeongyeon exaggerates her yodeling, arms swinging in a hilarious demeanour to Mina’s delight, and she starts laughing hard. Her gummy smile is showing, and Jeongyeon finds it adorable. Crouching her belly, eyes tearing up.

_“Oh no. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”_ Jeongyeon teases as she winks at the japanese. Mina wipes the tears from her eyes, still laughing.

_“I wasn’t expecting a beautiful woman as you to be this silly.”_ She regains her composure, with a smile plastered on her face.

Jeongyeon lets out a half-suppressed laugh. “Should I say thank you for the compliment?”

Mina leans over the terrace and replies, _“Thank me with a cup of coffee,”_ and returns a wink to Jeongyeon. However, she ends up closing both her eyes in her poor attempt to wink. Jeongyeon laughs, and Mina, instead of feeling embarrassed, laughs with her.

Still panting from laughter, Jeongyeon says, _“Only a japanese can sing it that fluently. You’re japanese, aren’t you?”_

_“Hai, Jeongyeon.”_ Mina confirms. She looks at the taller girl intently, hesitating to ask or not. But she decides to inquire anyway, _“Your name sounds like a korean name. Are you korean?”_

Jeongyeon smiles at the japanese woman and nods her head. _“I’m half korean, half belgian. My dad is korean and my mom’s the caucasian one.”_

Mina panics upon hearing Jeongyeon’s answer. _Does she know who I am, that's why she looked at me at the airport?_ she asks internally.

_“But I left South Korea when I was 13. I haven't returned since then. I have no reasons to come back, and I try forgetting everything about that country.”_ She continues and Mina notices the pain in her expression, voice cracking a little.

_“Oh, I see. I’m sorry to ask you about it.”_

_“What are you apologizing for?”_ Jeongyeon chuckles and Mina’s brows crease as she pouts. _Cute_ , Jeongyeon thinks. Any trace of pain is gone, and her bubbliness is back again. _“Mina?”_

_“Hmmm?”_

_“If you need anything, anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask me. Don’t feel shy. I’ll be happy to help you.”_ Jeongyeon says with sincerity and Mina bows her head coyly, weighing the situation. Mina has never been good with talking with strangers. Yet somehow she and Jeongyeon hit it off right away.

_“Okay, Jeongyeon. And the same goes to you, you can ask me anytime if you need anything. I’ll be just here, next door.”_

_“Sure. Ofcourse, Mina.”_ Jeongyeon is delighted with her response, and happy to have made a new friend. _“And Mina?”_

_“Hai, Jeongyeon."_

_“Do you want to go around? I mean see places?”_

Mina smiles sweetly at her neighbour and replies, _“Only if you go with me.”_

_"Ofcourse.”_

  
  


________

Mina and Jeongyeon decide to go to the town center together and visit Maria’s café. Mina leads them to her favorite table, next to the glass window where they can see the flowing river from the melted Alpine ice. Mina is enjoying the serenity, living the moment. And loves it even more when she hears Elton John's song "Your Song" play on the stereo.

As Jeongyeon opens and reads the menu, Mina closely observes the woman seated across her. Jeongyeon is dressed casually with a simple white T-shirt, rocking it with a pair of bold pants and boots. Her short pixie cut blond hair suits her tiny face perfectly. Mina’s gaze drifts towards her sharp jawline, her pointed nose and how clear her skin complexion is. She guesses Jeongyeon must be a model. Her height, her figure, those damn long legs and that face. Jeongyeon looks nothing less than divine and she's only wearing plain white tees at that!

Jeongyeon looks up from reading the menu, and at that moment the sun catches her eyes. Their eyes lock and time stands still.

Jeongyeon's hazel eyes glint as they surge with the tiniest kiss of sun. Her orbs shine like sunlight on polished stone, speckles of gold and green dispersed through her iris. Her long and curved eyelashes seem like they are hiding a mystery.

Last time she remembers Jeongyeon's eyes were blue, but now the are green.

Mina is mesmerized. 

Jeongyeon smiles at the smaller girl which Mina sweetly returns back. She suddenly feels bashful and senses her face heating up. Jeongyeon looks back down at the menu after faking a cough.

Mina giggles, that tinge of roses on her cheeks did not escape the Japanese’s eyes.

Mina leans forward, propping her elbows on the table and cupping her face with her hands. _“Jeongyeon,”_ she calls the blond girl. Jeongyeon looks at her without lifting her head, pretending to be occupied. “Yours are the most beautiful pair of eyes I have ever seen.” Mina tells the taller girl as the Elton John sings _"Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen."_

Jeongyeon stops her pretend reading and places the menu on the table, leaning forward. _“How so?”_

_“Your eyes are enchanting.”_ Mina smiles at the taller woman who this time does not care to hide her blushing cheeks. _“Gosh, you’re adorable when you’re blushing,”_ Mina mutters under her breath.

_“What did you say?”_

Instead of repeating what she said, Mina instead grabs the menu and says, _“Gosh, I’m starving.”_

As if on cue, Maria spots the two young ladies and goes out to greet them. She hugs them both and asks what they want to have. As usual, Mina orders americano with a slice of sachertorte . Jeongyeon, on the other hand, orders a cup of aromatic austrian herb tea and a slice of any pie Maria will recommend to her. Maria raises both her eyebrows in disbelief. Belgians have this crazy love affair with coffee. (Not that I’m generalizing but the majority really do.) Jeongyeon chuckles, “ _I know what you mean. Mijn oma drinkt elke dag een thermoskan koffie. En ze heeft geen probleem met slapen.”_ (My grandmother drinks a thermos of coffee everyday. And she does not have a problem sleeping.)

_“Wat is er met jou gebeurd?”_ (What happened to you?) Maria prods. 

_“Ik ben gewoon anders.”_ (I’m just different.) and laughs. “Shouldn’t you be asking Mina too why she’s having coffee instead of tea? Isn’t that what you see on TV? Asians and their love for tea. And rice, if I may add.” Jeongyeon teases the smaller woman.

_“Yah! We drink other stuff, too! Don't stereotype, Yeonie.”_ Mina pouts.

_Yeonie? Did she give me a nickname? Aigoo, this woman_. Jeongyeon thinks. _“I’m just kidding, princess. I’m half-asian too, remember?”_ she replies to the japanese and winks playfully.

Maria laughs at the two, looking at them adoringly, “ _Je ziet er goed uit samen.”_ (You look good together.)

Jeongyeon’s eyes widened. Did this old woman just ship them? Maria, seeing Jeongyeon’s reaction, just chuckles and says she’ll be back with their orders.

_“What’s with that expression? What did Maria say?”_ the confused japanese asks, not understanding a thing.

_Then she really can tell I’m into girls._ Jeongyeon thinks to herself.

_“Yeonie.”_

_“Yes, Mina,”_ she finally hears her. _“Wait a minute, did you just call me Yeonie?”_

Mina now wears a perplexed guise on her face, _“You don’t like it?”_

Jeongyeon shakes her head, _“It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that you’re the first one to call me that.”_ Mina’s countenance softens, _“I actually love it, Mi . Thank you.”_

_“Then I’m glad.”_ she beams at the Jeongyeon, crunching her nose. _"Mi? Why Mi?"_

Jeongyeon shrugs her shoulders, _"I just want to call you Mi. What's your name, Mi?'_

_"Myoui Mina."_ Mina answers and instantly regrets why she gave her her real name.

_"Myoui. Sounds like MOOI_ ," Jeongyeon remarks. _"Since you don't like Mi, I'll just call you MOOI. It suits you perfectly, really. Mina Mooi."_

_"Mooi? What's that? Stop giving me weird names, Yeonie."_ she's pouting again and Jeongyeon chuckles.

_"Mooi in flemish means beautiful."_ Jeongyeon pauses, leans closer to Mina and continues, _"And so are you. Jij bent mooi, Myoui Mina"_

Mina doesn't have to know dutch to understand the last sentence Jeongyeon said. This time it is Mina's turn to blush. _"Call me Mi, it's fine."_

Maria returns to their table with their orders. And Mina exhales in relief, being saved from an awkward situation. As if she didn't tease Jeongyeon with her compliments earlier. The older woman wants to sit longer with them but she is needed in the kitchen and excuses herself. Leaving the two to enjoy their late afternoon treats.

So here they are, a blond woman drinking tea and an asian one enjoying her coffee.

_"Tell me something about yourself, Yeonie. What do you like to do?"_ Mina asks as she digs into her taart.

_"I love visiting places with weird names."_ Jeongyeon replies.

_"Like?"_

Mina sees a glint of excitement in Jeongyeon's eyes. Jeongyeon proceeds on telling her about the places she's been to. _"Do you like Spongebob SquarePants?"_ she asks to which Mina nods, fully emerged to listening to Jeongyeon's adventures. _"Do you know that there really is a place called Krusty Krab?"_

_"Really?"_ Mina asks in disbelief.

_"Really! Such a place exists! There's a road named Krusty Krab in Aran Islands, Ireland. I once went there to see for myself."_ Jeongyeon opens her phone and shows Mina the pictures she took during her vacation in Aran Islands to the japanese woman's amazement.

_"You are full of surprises, Yeonie. I actually want to do that, too. Visiting those places seems exciting."_

_"Well, we can. Shall we go to Fucking?"_ Jeongyeon casually asks and Mina is obviously taken aback by what she heard. Jeongyeon laughs at the younger girl. " _Mina, there's a place called Fucking here Austria. I haven't been there though. It will be awesome to visit the town together."_

_"Omo! I thought you were kidding me!"_ Mina exclaims.

Jeongyeon just laughs. _"I know, the name's just..."_ she can't hold her laughter. _"That is why they are changing the name to Fugging. And tourists keep stealing that road sign as souvenir."_

Mina is visibly amused, _"Okay, let's go to Fucking."_ and laughs along.

The more Jeongyeon gets to know the japanese, the more amused she gets by the little things she discovers. Mina loves coffee so much and calls americano “Minaricano” . She says she loves how Americano has no pretensions – it doesn’t have that froth like cappuccino that covers its true self. No milk to milden its taste. It’s just straight up dark and strong.

Jeongyeon learns that Mina Myoui is 23 years old. She’s single with no siblings. Other than that she will not divulge any further. She wants to keep what’s behind her where it belongs - behind her. Jeongyeon realizes that they somewhat are the same, she also wants to leave her past behind her, too.

Mina is pretty much like her coffee – dark and strong with an air of mystery around her.

But deep within they know, they are both cappuccinos - hiding behind the froth.

  
  


________

Jeongyeon places her laptop on top the terrace table. It is past 9 in the evening but it is still bright outside during summers. She takes a sip of her tea and starts checking the daily report of their flower shop. Just then she sees her phone screen lights up. She picks up and sees Sana's name. She unlocks her mobile phone and reads her business-partner’s message.

**Sana: I saw Chaeyoung today. She looks so cute with her baby lion costume!**

Sana sends Jeongyeon her daughter’s photo with Nayeon. Upon seeing the picture, Jeongyeon feels her chest constrict and her throat being choked. She asks herself so many times if she deserves all this pain. What has she done to suffer like this? Tears slowly ran down her face despite her trying to hold them in.

She’s a mess and it angers her to still have feelings for her ex-wife Nayeon. Is it anger from being used, or hurt because she loves her still? But one thing is for sure, she badly wants to leave that part behind her and to start a new life. However, her heart bleeds for her daughter Chaeyoung. She can’t let her daughter go.

When Chaeyoung was born, Jeongyeon was the one who first held her. She loved that child even before she was born. And just when she thought she couldn’t love her any more, it felt like her heart doubled in size to accommodate the love she feels for her daughter.

After giving birth, Nayeon could not produce enough milk to feed the little one. Nayeon had a difficult time giving birth and so Jeongyeon took it upon herself to wake up every few hours to prepare the formula and feed the baby. She took great care of the mother and child. Nayeon was feeling uneasy with changing the baby’s dirty nappies so Jeongyeon did it as it was no problem for her.

When Nayeon had postpartum depression, Jeongyeon was the glue that held their small family together. They went to seek assistance from a psychiatrist and Nayeon started feeling better after her sessions.

Jeongyeon understands. Jeongyeon always understands. Nayeon was having a hard time adjusting to the changes in her life. Nayeon was having a hormonal imbalance. Nayeon needs time on her own. Nayeon needs support. Nayeon needs her patience. Nayeon needs her strength. Nayeon needs her.

And all the while she takes care of their bundle of joy.

She was there when she spoke her first word, when first lifted her tiny head, when she started to crawl, when she started to stand up, when she started to walk. She was there on Chaeyoung’s first day of school. And how the kid would not let go of her hands. Jeongyeon stayed for hours until Chaeyoung started making new friends. She was there, every step of the way.

So who can blame her for sneaking into Chaeyoung’s school just to catch a glimpse of her daughter? Jeongyeon violated the restraining order against her filed by Chaeyoung’s mother and father, Nayeon and Jackson. She was fined by the court and it affected her custody and visitation rights. Jackson wants to remove any right Jeongyeon has for his child. He wants to remove her completely from Chaeyoung’s life. Jeongyeon pleaded. But her cries were unheard.

Chaeyoung may not come from her womb, but she came from her heart. And Jeongyeon, despite being a woman, was more of a dad than Chaeyoung’s birth father.

But sometimes the law is blind and deaf. And when people say life is unfair, Jeongyeon received a greater deal of that injustice.

Nayeon’s betrayal broke her heart, but being unable to hug and kiss Chaeyoung was the ultimate blow that shattered her heart.

_“Fuck!”_ Jeongyeon curses out loud as she stares at her tea that has gone cold. It’s not tea that she needs now but alcohol.

  
  


  
_____________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hoi! Hey! Hello! Hallo! Thanks for reading this au. I hope you like it.  
> And again I apologise for the grammatical errors.
> 
> Please let me know what you think about this chapter in the comment section. I'll try to do better on the next one.
> 
> Keep streaming I Can't Stop Me and Cry for Me
> 
> #IMissYooJeongyeon  
> hehe Jeongmi


	3. FATE OR NOT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jeongyeon, when you and Maria talk with each other, what language is that actually?” Mina asks.
> 
> “It’s Flemish.” The taller girl replies.
> 
> “Flem... Is your country called Phlegm?” Mina asks with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO OFFENSE MEANT to all dutch/flemish/german speakers. I love these languages and I studied dutch/flemish myself. This is but a work of fiction with a little dose of humor. So please don't take this work seriously.
> 
> Hehe Jeongmi

Jeongyeon carefully does a mental check of the things needed for their hiking trip. The ladies have decided to explore the area. And Jeongyeon, having been around, suggests they go hiking. To which the smaller one agrees without even realizing what that means. The rocky mountains of Neustift Im Stubaital are pretty steep, especially for someone who has never gone hiking before. Jeongyeon doesn’t know, Mina did not tell her.

She puts on her baseball cap and locks the door behind her before going to her neighbour’s front door and ringing the bell. After a minute or two the door opens, and much to her surprise, she sees a rather “overly prepared” Mina. Jeongyeon furrows her eyebrows and asks, _“Don’t tell me you will go hiking with that?”_

The clueless Japanese pouts, wondering what is wrong. _“What do you mean? I’m ready to go.”_ She is not fine with Jeongyeon’s remark as she has spent the night packing and unpacking her stuff. Mina is so excited that barely was able to sleep.

Jeongyeon smiles as she sighs, _“What do you have in your bags?”_ Yes, Mina does not have one but two.

Mina, being Mina, innocently enumerates what she has packed, _“Well, I have my wallet, IDs, passport…”_

Jeongyeon nods.

_“. . . my favorite neck pillow, my Tim bear, makeup in case I need to retouch…”_

Jeongyeon’s eyes widened.

_“. . . hand towel, t-shirts, I have a blanket, if ever we decide to rest for a while. A DSLR camera, bottles of water, for you and me. Lots of snacks, chocolate bars, protein bars. I have chips. I hope you eat chips. I …”_

Mina does not get to continue as Jeongyeon cuts her off. _“Minaya, you won’t last long with all that weight on your shoulders.”_ Jeongyeon teases the Japanese with a grin on her face, _“You look like you can survive the wild for days with the number of rations you’ve prepared there, soldier.”_

Mina looks at her, mouth partly agape, and Jeongyeon can tell the shorter girl is embarrassed right now. However, Jeongyeon is quick to apologize, _“Mina, I meant it as a joke. I didn’t mean to offend you.”_ She says with sincerity and mentally scolds herself for not holding her tongue. Her friends may be used to her being like this, but not Mina.

_“I couldn’t sleep last night, packing and unpacking these bags.”_ Mina sulks, clearly unhappy her efforts are a waste. _“I actually have never done this before. It’s really embarrassing.”_ Feeling the anxiety creeping in. _“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand, I wasted your time by waiting and now you are bothered by -”_

Jeongyeon, hearing Mina’s trembling voice, gets closer to the smaller girl. She holds Mina in both her shoulders and looks straight into her eyes, reassuring her that it is fine. _“Hey hey. Don’t be embarrassed about it. There’s always a first time for everything. Remember that.”_ she smiles at the smaller girl. _“You did just fine. And I am sorry, I really meant it as a joke. I’m also just worried about you having to carry all of that, not that I won’t help you though. I did not know you could not sleep because of it. I’m really sorry. And you did not waste my time, Minaya. And do I look like I’m bothered to you?”_

Mina can only shake her head in response. 

_“Good, because I really am not.”_ Jeongyeon smiles. Somehow Jeongyeon’s words calmed her. Back in South Korea, she has been to a handful of psychiatrists to help her with her anxiety. It did not work out. And yet here is someone who she just met who managed to calm her nerves. Is it sincerity? Were her doctors back home not sincere? Is it trust? Can she trust someone she just met so much?

_“Shall we remove some of this stuff? Is that okay?”_ Jeongyeon’s voice was gentler this time. Mina only nods.

So, they settled in the living, checking Mina’s bags with Ray-chan keeping an eye on Jeongyeon. Maybe deciding if he should trust her with his pretty boss. After a few minutes, he carefully treads towards the blond girl, rubbing his head on her leg. Jeongyeon smiles and pats his head. “ _You have won him over.”_ Mina remarks and Jeongyeon replies, _“I’m happy we are friends now.”_ with a smile.

Jeongyeon starts removing things that they will not be needing with Mina’s permission, of course. But decides to keep the Tim bear. _“I have a feeling you have a strong connection with this little pal. So, he is staying.”_ Mina smiles, touched by her thoughtfulness, _“I always carry him around everywhere I go.”_

_“But I am going to remove this makeup kit, okay? You are beautiful, Mina-yah. I swear. You don’t even have to wear makeup at all.”_ Jeongyeon smiles at her but then decides to tease her, _“Not for the cows, and sheep, and if we are lucky, some reindeers, too.”_ laughing at her own banter, and this time Mina laughs along.

Perhaps it is out of a habit that she needs to look her best everywhere she goes that she is always conscious about her looks. Jeongyeon’s words tug a string in her heart, it is indeed superfluous. Isn’t the reason why she is here is to get away from the flamboyant and pretentious lifestyle she has back in South Korea?

Mina decides to play along and returns the favour to the blond girl, _“Well, I didn’t mean to look good for the cows, Yeonie. I want to look good for you.”_

It is but a harmless tease, but it renders Jeongyeon speechless before letting out a dry laugh, _“Ha-ha! Darn it, you really know how to tease!”_ Mina playfully flips her hair and replies, “ _I know, right?”_ laughing at her little victory.

_“Okay you won, princess.”_ Jeongyeon retorts as she raises her arms in surrender which earns a soft slap on her shoulder. 

After checking Mina’s bags and noting she did not find any insect repellents, Jeongyeon asks, _“By the way, Mina-yah, have you applied insect repellants already?”_ Guessing that the smaller girl does not have it.

Mina shakes her head, _“I don’t have that, Yeonie._ ”

Jeongyeon unzips her backpack and takes out her spray, _“Here. Take this.”_ Mina accepts and starts spraying on her arms and legs as Jeongyeon takes her sunscreen out, too. She hands Mina the sunscreen as well after the Japanese returns the insect repellent to her.

_“You know what, let’s take the cable car instead of climbing the mountains. Then hike on our way down instead.”_ Jeongyeon suggests as she helps Mina apply the sunscreen cream evenly on her face. _“Let’s have lunch at the restaurant on top of the mountain.”_

_“I know you are worried about me, but I don’t want to ruin your plans, Jeongyeon.”_ Mina replies with eyes casted down.

Jeongyeon takes Mina’s hands on her own and is surprised at how cold they are. Mina’s hands are sweating. She wonders how this beautiful girl in front of her seems to be apologetic about everything. She feels it, Mina being withdrawn, silent and shy, as if lacking self-confidence. And how she gets emotional quickly. It reminds her of Nayeon back when she was suffering with postpartum depression. How little things can trigger her anxiety and mood swings. And looking at Mina now, she can see some telltale signs that she might be suffering from it, too.

When her ex-wife had depression, Jeongyeon also received help from a psychiatrist, educating her what depression is and how she can help Nayeon in the process of recovery. And at the same time keeping her own sanity intact. Living with someone who suffers from depression is not easy. Thankfully, Jeongyeon had help from family, friends, and professional support as well. She has only known Mina for weeks and so she thinks she might be wrong. But something inside her tells her this woman needs her. 

Jeongyeon gently rubs Mina’s palms, bringing warmth back to them. “ _Mina-ya, I know we just met a few weeks ago, but believe me when I say I am sincere. Trust me. You did not ruin any plans.”_

Mina looks up and she stares right into those dark orbs of hers, “ _Thank you, Jeongyeon. It’s funny how weeks ago you are nothing but a stranger to me. But somehow I feel like I can trust you.”_

The blond girl smiles heartily, _“I feel the same way about you, too.”_

  
  


________

Mina absolutely loves their trip on the cable car up the hills, much to the blond girl’s delight. She enjoys seeing the smaller girl’s expression being in awe by the sight below them as they continue to ascend. Mina’s left hand never leaves hers the entire time. She wonders how it does not feel awkward at all, as if it was a natural thing to do. Not that it bothers her in the first place, because it never did, not even a tiny bit.

Jeongyeon takes pictures occasionally, mostly of the japanese girl beside her. Jeongyeon has been here before and has taken pictures already. But right now, there is nothing more beautiful than that smile on Mina’s face, not even Austria’s panoramic view in front of her.

When they finally reach the top, Mina finally lets go of Jeongyeon’s hand. Jeongyeon suddenly misses the smaller girl’s hand on hers. _Weird_ , she thinks.

They find themselves walking towards a small restaurant on top. Mina stops to catch her breath, and Jeongyeon joins her. _“You’re right, Jeongyeon. I can’t even continue walking now without resting. How much more if I carried all those weight with me.”_ She takes a sip of water. _“My gosh! These mountains are bloody steep!”_ she exclaims.

Jeongyeon chuckles and takes a sip from her bottle too. Not long after, the cows came crossing the road and both girls moved a little father from them. The ringing of bells filled the air. All of a sudden, Mina feels alarmed at how big the cows are and grabs Jeongyeon’s hand.

The cows eyed at them and Jeongyeon teased Mina about it, _“Godverdomme, Mina! Even the cows find you beautiful!”_ Jeongyeon is expecting a slap but Mina hides behind her instead. _“Aigoo! our Mina-ya is scared of you. Scurry away, you cows!”_ as she shoos them away.

_“They are huge! I’ll be dead if they step on me.”_ Mina says watching the last cow of the herd disappear into the forest. _“And they won’t, Mina-ya. Those cows won’t just attack you.”_ Jeongyeon reassures her. _“Shall we continue?”_

_“Okay, Jeongyeon.”_ the smaller girl replies, this time she doesn’t let go of the blond girl’s hand.

  
  


________

It did not take long for them to reach the small restaurant. They settle on the table next to the window. Mina always chooses a table where she can look outside. Jeongyeon helps her take off her jacket before taking hers off. Mina is getting used to it, this caring Jeongyeon she has come to be so fond of these past weeks.

She looks at Jeongyeon who is now putting their bags under the table. She notices her cheeks are flushed from the heat. _“Yeonie, your cheeks are red. Maybe you need to reapply sunscreen?”_

Jeongyeon cheeks her image using her phone’s camera. _“Yeah, you are right. I’ll be in the washroom. Be right back.”_ she says as she grabs her backpack and heads to the washroom. Minas is admiring the how cozy and rustic the restaurant is, nothing about it screams modern. It feels like she has been transported decades back. The century old wooden hut turned restaurant is nestled solitarily on a sunny south-facing slope. Mina savors the natural landscapes, away from the hustle and bustle of her chaotic life in Seoul.

Jeongyeon reemerges after a few minutes and asks Mina if she needs to go too, she’ll watch their belongings for them while she’s away.

While Mina was in the washroom, Jeongyeon checks on the photos she has taken. The waitress arrives and sees her smiling while looking at Mina’s pictures. _“Deine Frau ist schön.”_ The lady says as she places their glasses and cutlery, and Jeongyeon although is not fluent in german, can understand a little as both languages are a little bit similar. In dutch it is, _“Je vrouw is schoon”_ which in english means “Your wife is beautiful.”

Unable to find the right words, Jeongyeon only manages to say, _“Danke”_ which sounds akin to dutch _“Dank je”_ and both means “Thank you.”

Mina arrives to find the waitress eyeing her with adoration and Jeongyeon’s half-baked smile. She greets the lady, _“Hallo!”_ to which the waitress returns with a _“Guten tag!”_ The lady asks them if they have already chosen any, Jeongyeon replies not yet. The lady excuses herself and says she will be back and gives them time to check the menu.

_“I didn’t know you could speak german too, Jeong.”_ Mina is in awe, looking admiringly at the woman in front of her.

Jeongyeon quickly brushes the compliment off saying she only knows very little of the language, not even enough to carry on a full conversation. Mina is not convinced though, and says Jeongyeon is just humble to admit it.

Mina looks at the menu, and then at Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon gets the unspoken message, stands up and walks towards Mina’s side. She bends over, matching the sitting girl's level and explains to the japanese what’s on the menu and helping her choose before returning to her own seat.

The waitress returns to take their orders. She looks at Jeongyeon and asks after noticing that the asian woman did not understand her. _“Was wird Ihre Frau von der Speisekarte haben?”_ (What will your wife have from the menu?) Jeongyeon looks at Mina, she feels guilty of not correcting the waitress from the start. She looks at the waitress and pointed at the menu, _“Sie wird Tomatensuppe mit Fleischbällchen, Wienerschnitzel und Apfelstrudel als dessert haben.”_ (She’ll have Tomatensuppe mit Fleischbällchen, Wienerschnitzel and Apfelstrudel as dessert.)

_“Und für Sie, Fräulein?”_ (And for you, miss?)

_“Ich werde Kürbis Suppe, Tiroler Gröstl für Main und Sachertorte bitte haben. Und Apfelsaft für sie und Tafelbier für mich.”_ (I will have Kürbis Suppe, Tiroler gröstl for main and Sachertorte please. And apple juice for her and table beer for me.)

_“Noch etwas?”_ (Anything else?) the waitress asks.

_“Das wäre alles für jetzt. Vielen dank.”_ (That would be all for now. Thank you.)

The waitress reiterates their order and Jeongyeon confirms. The lady smiles before taking her leave.

As soon as the waitress has left, Mina leans across the table and speaks in a hush tone for Jeongyeon to hear. “And you said you don’t speak german well.” Jeongyeon chuckles and replies, _“Mina-ya, I really don’t. My knowledge in german is very limited.”_

Mina only narrows her eyes, not believing Jeongyeon as all. _“I don’t think so. You’re just so humble. That’s it.”_

Jeongyeon does not want to argue about it. Not when she feels bad about not telling the waitress Mina is in fact not her wife.

Earlier, Mina chose Tomatensuppe mit Fleischbällchen (tomato soup with meatballs) and Wienerschnitzel basically because it looks like Tonkatsu. For dessert she wanted ice cream, but they do not have it since they don’t have electricity from this altitude. So, she chose Apfelstrudel.

Jeongyeon chose Kürbis Suppe (pumpkin soup) with crispy croutons and a dollop of sour cream, Tiroler gröstl for main as she wants to try the traditional dish of Tirol. For dessert she settled for Sachertorte knowing that the Japanese lady before her is crazy about chocolates. And she is right, Mina ended up eating the chocolate dessert and she had Apfelstrudel instead.

  
  


________

As what they have agreed upon, Jeongyeon and Mina are now hiking their way down from the top of the mountains. The descent is not difficult for both, even for the inexperienced Japanese. But despite having it easy, Jeongyeon is walking Mina’s pace. Stopping here and there to enjoy what nature has to offer.

Mina picks up a dandelion and blows on it. Jeongyeon finds it irresistibly cute and takes a photo of it. She stares at the Japanese admiring her side profile. Mina is pretty. Very pretty. She wonders how a beautiful woman as her be alone in this remote place.

_“Mina-ya, sorry but I can’t help but wonder how a pretty woman like you is travelling alone. I mean, where’s your boyfriend… or husband perhaps?”_ Jeongyeon pries.

Mina turns to her, wearing a serious expression on her face, _“Not every woman needs a man, Yeonie.”_ Jeongyeon is not expecting that answer at all. Can it be?

Jeongyeon smiles, subtly nodding her head in agreement. _“I also think so.”_ Shall she press the topic further? “ _Or maybe the right man hasn’t arrived yet?”_ Hoping to find clues in the latter’s response. But Mina only replies,

_“Maybe.”_

Silence follows. Thankfully, Mina decides to kill it before it becomes more awkward than it already is.

_“Jeongyeon, when you and Maria talk with each other, what language is that actually?”_ she asks.

_“It’s Flemish.”_ The taller girl replies.

_“Flem... Is your country called Phlegm?”_ Mina playfully asks with a glint of mischief in her eyes as she tries to copy the accent. _“I’m sorry but when I hear you talk it’s as if you are trying to get rid of phlegm from your throat.”_

Jeongyeon is laughing hard at the Japanese’s funny impersonation. _“Yah! Mina-ya!”_

Mina continues to joke around, _“Even that waitress earlier makes me want to clear my throat, just by listening to the two of you converse with each other.”_

The blond girl’s now in tears from laughing. She remembers when she first arrived in Belgium and she had the very same impression about the language, especially in pronouncing "R", “K" and "G”.

_“Not gonna argue about that because when I came to Belgium, I often made fun of the accent as well.”_ She tells the smaller girl. _“It took some time before I became accustomed to it.”_

_“You were 13 when you came to Europe, right?”_ Mina inquires.

_“Yes.”_

Mina asks again, _“Why did you leave South Korea?”_

Jeongyeon can actually dismiss the question and not answer it, but instead she decides to open up a little to the smaller girl. There’s no reason to pretend about it, she's done with that part a long time ago. It’s up to Mina now. “My mom lives in Belgium. And I had enough of the hypocrisy and homophobia.” Jeongyeon replies. As much as she does not want to be reminded of her past in South Korea, she knows she can’t change the past.

Jeongyeon grew up in South Korea and was raised in a very conservative household. Her parents divorced when she was just a toddler. Her mom returned to Belgium alone, unable to bring her three daughters with her. She couldn’t understand it back then why her mom left her. And she and her sisters believed only what they were told as they were growing up. She only came to fully understand why her mom left when she herself gets to live in Belgium. The differences in both cultures are truly remarkable. She can only imagine how hard it must have been for her mom having to submit to the males and elders in the family. Jeongyeon remembers being slapped hard in the face when she once answered back to her father.

Jeongyeon has always been the odd one among the three sisters. She remembers her grandmother saying that. Jeongyeon was very energetic and boyish when she was a kid. Girly stuff did not interest her at all. And when she entered adolescence it became even more confusing for her as to why she likes things opposite to what her olders sisters prefers. Their childhood friends called her "tomboy" and it did not escape her grandmother's radar who continuously reminded her to act like a lady.

When she was 13 years old, she had her first crush. And no, not with a boy, but with a girl. Her mistake was confiding her emotion to her older sisters who despised her for it. She was young back then and does not even understand what she was feeling.

Her sisters, eager to earn the favor of their father, tell him about Jeongyeon’s little secret. This angered father and grandparents so much, telling her she is a shame to the family. It must be from her western blood, they reasoned. Among the three siblings, only Jeongyeon has blond hair and hazel eyes of which her sisters were jealous of. Jeongyeon grew up looking like a doll, earning praises everywhere they go. Something her father didn't like, perhaps because she somehow reminded him of her mom everytime he looked at her.

Jeongyeon dared to talk back to her father which did her no good as she only earned her a hard slap on her face. Cradling her aching cheek, Jeongyeon begged her father to let her stay. She was only 13 for fuck’s sake. She scared of the thought of going to an unknown place. She didn’t have any bond with her mom as their father wouldn’t let it. Blocking communication between them.

She was disowned by her korean family and was sent to Belgium to her mom when she questioned them why it is wrong to be attracted to the same sex. Her grandmother said she was possessed by the devil and will bring the whole family to shame. She has not returned to South Korea since then. She misses her family back there dearly, but the pain is too much for her to forget everything that happened. It was unreasonable.

She doesn’t know what kind of response to expect from the Japanese girl after telling her her story. Will she distance herself from her now that it’s already out in the open? Instead, Mina holds her hand tightly, gently rubbing it. As if comforting her.

Mina is quite hard to read. She can be very silent then be jolly. Be playful and then emotional.

_“I hope you are happy, Jeongyeon.”_ Mina says.

_“I really hope I am, too.”_ She replies. 

  
  


________

Mina requests to rest somewhere as she wants to take in the beauty Tirol has.

Jeongyeon checks on the map application on her phone and sees they are close to Brandstatt-Alm. She leads them both to where the app directs them. Mina’s lips parted as she sees the meadows spread in front of her. Wildflowers are in full bloom – Wild Daisies, Dandelions, Bavarian Gentian, varieties of Monkshood, varieties of Yarrow, Maidenstears, Edelweiss, Vanilla Orchid, Bird Vetch, Rampion, Mountain Arnica, Pasque Flower, Bellflower, among others. Butterflies and bees kissing one flower after another, and the gentle touch of the cool alpine breeze on her skim. Such innocent beauty, real, uncorrupted, void of anything malicious. Mina cannot contain her emotions, even if she tries to.

Jeongyeon stands on the edge of the cliff, capturing photos of the paragliders. Satisfied with the shots she has taken, she turns around to find Mina sitting on the meadows, in tears. Jeongyeon is alarmed. She is torn between rushing towards the smaller woman’s side or giving her this moment to let her emotions out. She decides to go for the second option as she watches her tears rolls down her cheeks. She has never seen someone this vulnerable in her life, not after Nayeon. As she gazes at her, she cannot help but think of a little bird with broken wings.

Mina’s tears glistened in the sun’s rays and Jeongyeon thinks they look like diamonds. She knows it is wrong, but she can’t resist the urge to capture that moment. How on this very moment an angel shed diamond tears – “dub, lub-dub”. Jeongyeon crutches her chest.

She looks at Mina across the meadows, “dub, lub-dub.”

**IT**

**CAN'T**

**BE.**

  
  


________

Both were silent during the ride back home. Jeongyeon wants to ask if Mina is okay, but she clearly is not after seeing her breakdown like that. She wants to hold her hand and hug her, but she knows that if she does, she might further catch feelings for the lady living next door. She holds the steering wheel firmly with both hands and tries to keep her eyes on the road. And yet she finds her eyes wandering over the lady sitting on the passenger seat next to her.

Mina on the other hand is looking out from the open window on her side. Her elbow is resting on the window, her chin perched on her arm as her hair is blowing in the wind.

Jeongyeon turns on the radio. Music is always good to fill in the open spaces of silence. It was news break, but Jeongyeon decides not to change stations. It may be an unintentional decision, but she’s glad did since she can now hear Mina giggling while listening to the news podcast. Not being amused by the news which she clearly does not understand, but by the accent. (No offense meant for dutch/flemish/german speakers. This is but a work of fiction.)

After a few minutes, a song finally plays on the radio.

A dutch song entitled **HOE (How)** by Nielson & Miss Montreal.

 **En ineens zag ik je lopen** (And I suddenly saw you walking)  
 **En ik dacht** (And I thought)  
 **Hoe-oe, hoe-oe** (How, how)  
 **Ik was meteen ondersteboven** (I was suddenly upside down)  
 **En jij om de** (And you around the)  
 **Hoe-oek, hoe-oek** (Corner, corner)  
 **En we liepen samen verder** (And we walked further together)  
 **En ik dacht** (And I thought)  
 **Hoe-oe, hoe-oe** (How, how)  
 **Passen wij ineens zo** (We instantly fit so)  
 **Goe-oed, goe-oed** (Good, good)  
 **Bij elkaar en ik weet niet wat ik** (Together, and I don’t know what I)  
 **Doe-oe, doe-oe** (Do, do)  
 **Hoe zijn we hier beland** (How did we end up here)  
 **Hoe-oe, hoe-oe** (How, how)

 **En we vliegen door de dagen** (And we fly through the days)  
 **En het voelt** (And it feels)  
 **Goe-oed, goe-oed** (Good, good)  
 **En ik moet het eigenlijk niet vragen** (And I actually shouldn’t ask it)  
 **Maar wat nou als ik het** (But what if I)  
 **Doe-oe doe-oe** (Do, do)  
 **Wil je samen verder** (Do you want to go further together)  
 **En ik dacht** (And i thought)  
 **Hoe-oe, Hoe-oe** (How, how)  
 **Passen wij ineens zo** (We instantly fit so)  
 **Goehoed, goehoed** (Good, good)  
 **Bij elkaar en ik weet niet wat ik** (Together, and I don’t know what I)  
 **Doe-oe, doe-oe** (Do, do)  
 **Hoe zijn we hier beland** (How did we end up here)  
 **Hoe-oe, hoe-oe** (How, how)

Although Mina does not understand the lyrics, she somehow likes the melody and finds herself humming along to the song. And Jeongyeon thinks to herself how the song sort of speaks for her. Asking **how** she ends up sitting next to the beautiful stranger she met in the airport three weeks ago. She smiles with the thought and Mina asks her why.

She turns to her and said, _“It amazes me how we met twice, thrice? It makes me want to believe in fate. Do you?”_ Jeongyeon slows down as they arrived back home and carefully parks the car in front her abode. Mina is silent, processing her thoughts.

Jeongyeon unloads the trunk and walks the smaller girl to her front door. Mina thanks her for the wonderful time they shared and added, _“Yeonie, I have always been scared of heights. But having experienced that with you for the first time made it bearable and an enjoyable experience. So, thank you.”_

Jeongyeon smiles and tells her she is most welcome. She is about to leave when Mina calls her name. She turns and is taken by surprise when Mina tiptoes and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Jeongyeon is at a loss for words, looking at the blushing woman in front of her.

_“About your question earlier,”_ Mina started. “ _I believe nothing is just mere coincidence. We’re all connected in one great masterplan. We are destined to meet at some point or another in our lives to be each other’s blessing or lesson. Some people will just pass you by. Some people will only stay for a while. Others will stay with you longer. A few stays by your side for always.”_ Mina continues and Jeongyeon wants so badly to ask, _How long will you stay, Mina?_ but cannot bring herself to.

Instead, she takes a step closer and engulfs the smaller girl in a hug. _“Fate or not, I’m happy life brought us together. It doesn’t matter if it’s just for a while. I will always remember this time with you. And I want to be that answer as to why life brought you here, now.”_

Mina closes her eyes, allowing herself to sink into that warm and soothing embrace that, unexpectedly, feels like home.

  
  


________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to our WINTER SUNSHINE SANA! You’re a talented, kindhearted, adorable, and a loving person. Onces are so lucky to have you as a member of TWICE. Please stay happy & healthy!💓  
> #AdorableSANADay  
> #추운날_피어난_따스한_사나꽃  
> #TWICE #트와이스


	4. I FUCKING ♥️ AT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongyeon and Mina visit an austrian village famous for its unusual name - Fucking, and steal the road sign as souvenir.

Jeongyeon smiles as she sees the sleepy Mina walking towards the pick-up car. Mina opens the car door and slips inside, greeting Jeongyeon with a sleepy _“Ohayou.”_ Mina places her small luggage in front of her. The blond girl shakes her head as she leans over Mina and puts on her seatbelt. She then grabs Mina’s luggage and places it in the backseat.

_“Arigatou, Jeongyeon-san. I’m very sleepy.”_

_“I can see that! Couldn’t you sleep last night?”_ Jeongyeon asks.

“ _I couldn’t sleep. I felt anxious. Around midnight I took a sleeping pill. I got frustrated that I could not sleep still. I took another one. And ta-da! It’s working now.”_ Mina tries to be energetic, but she cannot even lift her eyelids.

Jeongyeon chuckles and sets the GPS. After typing in their destination, she places a neck pillow around Mina’s neck, _“It’s okay, Mina. You can sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”_ Mina manages to say, _“Aren’t you the sweetest?”_ and _“Thank you,”_ before dozing off. 

Mina and Jeongyeon are heading to their five-day “Fucking Epic” trip. They are on their way to visit the unusually named places in Upper Austria called Fucking, Oberfucking, and Unterfucking. Hence, the code name of their trip - “Fucking Epic”. The distance does not discourage the two excited ladies at all. Fucking is 211 km away from Neustift Im Stubaital, and that will take them 2 and a half hours to get there. Jeongyeon, who is not a fan of coffee, ditched her usual tea for this trip because she wants to be very awake. While Mina, on the other hand, is already off to dreamland before the car even left the parking lot.

They set off at 5 in the morning and for a summer day, it’s already bright and sunny outside. Jeongyeon already prepared their breakfast of crusty baguette sandwiches with ham and cheddar, bottled water, and fruit juice as they planned to just stop by somewhere and eat. 

While driving, Jeongyeon entertains herself with her playlist while enjoying the cool and fair morning. Listening to Lost Frequencies, Avicii, Martin Garrix, among others but skipped Amelie Lens courtesy of the sleeping beauty next to her. Jeongyeon glances at Mina soundly sleeping next to her. She cannot help but think about that night Mina kissed her cheek. She sorts of expected things to be ungainly between them after that hug. But no, they even have gotten closer with each other. They started having lunch or dinner together. They visit each other’s places and Jeongyeon teaches Mina some recipes. The shorter woman is very eager to learn.

She taught Mina the secret of the perfect fries. Mina learned that “French” fries should be actually named Belgian fries as they originated from Belgium. The secret to making the best fries is to wash the potatoes well after chopping them to strips, removing the excess starch that turns them brown when you fry them. The next step is to dry the potato strips with kitchen paper. Then heat the fryer to 170°c. Fry the fries and when they turn golden, remove them from the fryer and let them rest. Raise the fryer temperature to 180°c and then fry the fries once again until they are golden brown. _En viola_! There you have it, _Belgische frietjes!_

Mina loves her private lessons with “Chef Jeong”. These lessons allowed them to know each other better. Jeongyeon found out Mina, despite having no skill in cooking, actually wants to have her own rustic restaurant just like her.

Jeongyeon’s adventures are greatly influenced by her gastronomic pursuit. She wants to widen her knowledge and understanding of food and culture. The flower shop that she and Sana manage was handed down to her by her _grootmoeder_. But she really aims to have her restaurant in Bruges. She already has a spot where to put up her dream diner, along the canal where you can see the romantic bridges and the view of the Belfry. During springtime, the trees are covered by different hues of pink, red and purple. In summer, you have the magnificent and calming River Reie. Bruges is called the Venice of the North, and this romantic river will take your breath away. Bruges is autumn is idyllic, fairy-tale-like. Nature is painted with red, yellow and orange, and a blush on lovers' cheeks. It gives the feeling that all your wishes will be granted. Winter in Bruges will warm you up inside despite the snow and the cold. And this is where Jeongyeon envisioned building her restaurant. She feels happy to know that she and Mina share the same dream.

There is no denying that Mina cannot cook. She even failed to make boiled eggs. She boiled them so long that the yolks have a bluish-green coat on them. And the perfectionist Jeongyeon educated Mina about the danger of eating overcooked eggs. The egg whites when cooked too long produce a toxic gas called hydrogen sulphide that is flammable, corrosive, and poisonous. _“So basically when you overcook eggs you turn them into chemical weapons,”_ Jeongyeon tells the Japanese.

_“Jeong, not only are you teaching me how to cook. You’re also filling me in with lessons from the years I missed school.”_ Mina laughs, leaving Jeongyeon wondering what the Japanese woman means.

_“I’m sorry to ask but -”_

_“I didn’t get to finish middle school, Jeong,”_ Mina says before she could ask. _“And if you’re wondering why, I started working when I was 15 years old. My work demands so much of my time that I had to stop going to school.”_ she continues.

_“Oh.”_ was all Jeongyeon could say. Confused as to what kind of work that is. Mina was underaged then. Isn’t that against child labor? Jeongyeon wanted to ask but she’s worried about going too far. She decided to ask Mina another time.

_“You’re really smart, Jeong. I’m happy to be learning a lot from you.”_ Mina’s smile was genuine. _“And you’re a great cook as well. What can’t you do, Yoo Jeongyeon?”_

_“There are a lot of things I cannot do, Mina,”_ she replies. _“And one of them is I can’t make people love me.”_ meeting Mina’s gaze.

  
  


________

More than an hour on the road, they reach Chiemsee, Germany. Jeongyeon wants to wake Mina up so she can also see the beautiful lake. But seeing Mina deep in her sleep, she lets her rest further. They can always stop by on their way back to Innsbruck anyway. Jeongyeon tries to be more understanding of Mina since she found out her suspicion was right. One time Jeongyeon visited the woman, she found a bottle of pills that Mina forgot on her kitchen counter. There’s no mistaking it, it was antidepressants. Jeongyeon has always been a caring one, but since Nayeon got diagnosed with depression, she has become more empathetic towards others. Jeongyeon knows communication is crucial in dealing with depression. And even if Mina doesn’t tell her or ask her for help, she encourages Mina to talk about anything that’s weighing on her mind.

They arrive in Upper Austria 15 minutes before 8 in the morning. They initially plan on going to Oberfucking but since Mina is still under the effects of sleeping pills, Jeongyeon drives them to their hotel instead. She asks if it is possible for early check-in. Luckily it was fine but they were charged, not that it matters to her. What matters is that Mina can rest comfortably in bed.

After checking in, she first helps the groggy Mina towards their room. After removing her shoes and tucking her in bed, she goes back to the car and brings their luggage to their hotel room. There is a queen-sized bed and a single bed. Mina is sleeping on the bigger one while Jeongyeon settles on the single bed. 

Jeongyeon sits on her bed, with her back leaning against the headboard. She gazes at Mina sleeping peacefully and decides to call Maria to inform her they’ve arrived safely. The old woman is happy to know they made it without any problem. Jeongyeon can hear Ray-chan barking in the background and calls the dog’s name. Maria laughs and tells her the dog got excited by Jeongyeon’s voice. She and Ray have become so close that Mina gets jealous sometimes.

After ending the call, Jeongyeon decides to update her Instagram account. It has been a while since the last time she was on Instagram. She uploads a blurry picture of Mina’s side profile as she blows on a dandelion with the sun behind her. It looks magical, dream-like. She writes the caption in Japanese - 友達(Tomodachi) which means friend. Not even a minute after she uploaded it, she receives a call from Momo.

_“Jeongyeonah!”_ she hears her Japanese friend shouting at the other end of the line.

_“Can you please keep the tone down? You’re going to make me deaf!”_ Jeongyeon exclaims.

Momo is now ranting in Japanese and she understands nothing. _“Are you done? Can you talk to me in English or Dutch now?”_ she rolls her eyes.

_“You did not tell us you are dating someone. And a Japanese too! Since when you started dating her? Is she the reason why you are there in Austria? How long are you in a relationship? Spill the beans!”_ Momo’s loud voice pierced her ears.

Jeongyeon opens the sliding doors leading to the terrace to not disturb the sleeping woman. _“Yah! You, dumbass! I told you to stop yelling!”_ she yells back.

She can hear Momo’s hiss on the other end of the line, Jeongyeon only smiles. _“Yoo Jeongyeon, you better tell me all the details now!”_ Momo demands.

_“Stop overreacting, Momoring. She’s not my girlfriend and no, she is not the reason why I am here. We. Are. Not. Dating._ ” she firmly says.

_“Not dating? What’s with that picture, eh?”_ Momo is still suspicious.

Jeongyeon lets out a sigh and replies _, “I also uploaded a picture of you and it didn’t mean we were dating.”_

_“Bitch, we are friends and that one-hell-of-a-gorgeous-woman surely caught your gay eyes. I may be miles away but I sure can tell you like her. My gay-dar can sense it!"_ Momo retorts. _“Make sure to bring her to Belgium next time. Don’t even try to deny it.”_

_“Momo, I’m not dating her. She’s a new friend. So just stop.”_ Jeongyeon peeks inside the room and sees Mina still sleeping. She ends her call with Momo and checks on her Instagram account. She’s surprised to see the amount of attention her post garners. Since when did she have this many followers? Sure, she got lots of followers but definitely not this many. Some of the comments mentioned that the lady looks like Miss M.

_“Miss M? Who's Miss M?”_ She wonders. Jeongyeon is not updated with Kpop or anything about South Korea. She is so bitter that she just refuses to indulge herself. Otherwise, she already recognized Mina back in the airport a month ago.

The curious Jeongyeon directly searches Miss M on Google and her jaw drops at what she finds out. There’s no mistaking it’s her. The gummy smile, those sexy moles that catch Jeongyeon’s attention every single time. Without thinking twice, Jeongyeon deletes the photo. So Mina is on hiatus and has not updated her fans about her whereabouts. Mina is hiding in Austria that’s why she does not mention much about herself. She slaps her forehead for not asking the girl’s permission before posting that photo.

Now she’s in turmoil whether to deactivate her account or say it was a fake photo. Before she can even come up with a decision, she receives a video call from Sana.

_“Sana-chan.”_ Jeongyeon starts, and Sana can see the perplexed look on Jeongyeon’s face.

_“I saw the picture, Jeongyeonah,”_ Sana says.

_“I thought so, too.”_ Jeongyeon replies, _“What should I do? I just found out who I’m with. I don’t want her to be bothered by this. Please help me, Sana.”_ She is begging her friend for help now.

Sana smiles at her, wondering how this friend of hers always gets herself into difficult situations and be involved with people with issues. _“Stop panicking. Dahyun said her side profile somehow looks like me. Upload my picture with the same caption.”_ Sana suggests.

_“Which picture, Sana?”_ Jeongyeon asks.

_“Dummy, remember that picture of me that you took when we used to date? That one I was also blowing on a dandelion.”_ Sana scoffs but sends that picture to Jeongyeon anyway. 

Even Jeongyeon is amazed. The resemblance of their side profiles is uncanny, well thanks to the other picture being blurry. Sana had long wavy brown hair back then, like what Mina has now. _Is it because they are both Japanese?_ Jeongyeon thinks.

Jeongyeon and Sana used to date when they were teenagers. However, their relationship did not last long as both felt they were better off as friends, not lovers. Amazingly, their past didn’t mar their friendship and they even became best of friends together with Momo.

_“I don’t even remember I took this photo,”_ Jeongyeon remarks.

_“Me neither. But that’s Dahyun’s favorite even if you were the one who took it. She said it gives her a glimpse of my past before she came into my life.”_ Sana replies. Her relationship with Jeongyeon never blossomed into anything more intense or romantic. Not even when they shared their first kiss. She and Jeongyeon can talk about it with no feelings involved. Maybe that is also the reason why Dahyun feels 0% jealousy towards Jeongyeon. And Jeongyeon has always admired Dahyun for it. How accepting she is of everything about Sana. How understanding knowing her friend is a “snake”, literally wrapping her body around her or Momo, and even Nayeon.

_“Upload it now, I will comment right away,”_ her friend reminds her. _“And I need to know everything about this girl. But for now, let’s solve this.”_ Sana smirks, _“I didn’t know you still have a thing for Japanese girls.”_ And before Jeongyeon can open her smart mouth, Sana is already gone.

Jeongyeon is thankful for Sana’s quick thinking. The people bought it and are now crazy about how beautiful she and Sana are and saying they will definitely pass as idols in South Korea. They dodged a major bullet, especially for Mina’s sake.

She has been wondering what Mina is hiding. Every time she receives a call, Mina will excuse herself and go to her room or be just away from her or Maria. So this was it! She’s hiding her identity as an artist. And to think Mina understands Korean perfectly, too.

It’s a lot clearer to Jeongyeon now why Mina is not accustomed to household chores or hasn’t finished middle school. She can only imagine how taxing it is to be working in the entertainment industry. She somehow feels bad for the Japanese woman who suffered a great toll because of it. How toxic must it be to suffer depression from it? It also makes her think of her oldest sister Gong Seungyeon. Although they never really talk, her mom constantly keeps her posted about her sisters. Seeing Mina’s predicament makes her worry about her sister, too. Seungyeon is working as an actress in South Korea. And she learns from her mom that her sister and dad are not on good terms that’s why Seungyeon chose Gong as her stage name instead of using their surname Yoo.

Does Mina know her sister? She wonders.

Jeongyeon spent the rest of the morning reading about Mina. She is astonished at Mina’s accomplishments despite her young age. She is no longer considered an idol but an artist as she is an actress, a singer, and a lyricist as well. Mina is an overachiever, that is how she is defined in an article written about her. She always aims for the best, aiming to achieve more than what is expected of her. 

But despite it all, Jeongyeon can feel that Mina is unhappy.

Jeongyeon remembers how Mina broke down in Brandstatt-Alm and she wonders if this was the reason behind that. 

But there aren’t only good articles written about her, there are negative publicities written about Mina’s hiatus. And Jeongyeon’s heart aches as she reads them. She clenches her jaw upon reading an article saying Mina is pregnant and left Seoul to have an abortion in secret. If she’s wearing Mina’s shoes she’ll probably be anxious about all this bullshit.

Jeongyeon continues reading and finds an article about Mina’s rumored boyfriend, an idol named BamBam who is said to be the father of Mina’s “unborn child”. She watched any possible interviews of the male idol and Jeongyeon is pissed about why the guy did not address the issue at all. Alright, he didn’t confirm but he sure as hell did not deny it! Making leeway for speculations that Mina indeed is pregnant and hiding somewhere.

The guy even seems to be enjoying the amount of publicity he is getting. _“Fuck!”_ Jeongyeon curses under her breath. The more she looks at the guy, the more annoyed she gets. Especially when he posted a picture of her and Mina during a “supposed” date. It only added firewood to the issue and marring Mina’s reputation. _“Such an asshole!”_ Jeongyeon wants to smack the male idol’s face, the way she did to Jackson. Well, her temper did her no good as it affected the ruling on her child custody claims. Jackson pissed her off to the point that she blew up. And that exactly was what he wanted. So, Jeongyeon learned the hard way to keep her temper down. Not that she has anger management issues, she just hates assholes like her dad and Jackson, and now BamBam.

Jeongyeon considers for a while to tell Mina the truth that she found out who she is. But in the end, she has decided to just wait for when Mina tells her about it herself. Until then she will just act as if she knows nothing.

  
  


________

Mina woke up at 8 in the evening and is dazed. She’s confused as to where she is until Jeongyeon shows up. She calms down the moment Jeongyeon enters the room. Jeongyeon smiles at her and greets her a good evening. Mina cannot believe she was asleep that long and apologized to Jeongyeon for the inconvenience. Jeongyeon tells her not to worry about it and to prepare for dinner.

Mina makes her way to the bathroom and readies herself. Her eyes and cheeks are puffy from her long sleep. Seeing how she looks, she wants to just stay in their room than showing up like that. But Jeongyeon convinced her it’s okay. Besides, she hasn’t eaten anything yet. She needs to replenish her body. Jeongyeon takes out her sunglasses and puts them on Mina, _“There, they can’t see your eyes now.”_ She smiles at the Japanese woman and the latter becomes conscious of the proximity between them. Mina clears her throat and tells the blond woman she is starving.

So the two head towards the hotel’s restaurant. Jeongyeon often catches Mina stealing glances at her - because she is doing the same thing as well. Every time their eyes meet, Mina will divert her attention to the food, or somewhere else. Jeongyeon smiles and offers her desserts to Mina - Cranberry Swirl Cheesecake with a chocolate crust. Mina accepted and gave her desserts to her in return - Brown Sugar Pavlova with Caramelised Peaches. Mina blushes after realizing they are always like this, her taking Jeongyeon’s desserts as the blond one knows she likes it.

After their dinner, the two ladies are sitting in their hotel room’s balcony. They have never been this awkward around each other and Jeongyeon wants to break the ice. She asks Mina if she’s been to other places in Europe too. Mina confirms but says it’s all for work and that she has never really gone around as a tourist. This is the first time she gets to enjoy herself as a tourist.

_“What do you do for a living, Mina?”_ Jeongyeon finally dares to ask.

Mina looks at her weighing if she’ll expose her secret or not. Jeongyeon smiles and taps her hand telling her it’s okay if she can’t answer her question. Mina wants to tell her, but she’s scared that Jeongyeon doesn’t want the publicity she might get when the media finds out where she is and avoid her. Jeongyeon already escaped the homophobia she faced back in South Korea. She doesn’t need to face it anymore. Her haters can write malicious issues about her. And Jeongyeon doesn’t deserve the hate she can get.

_“How about you, Jeongyeon?”_ Mina tries to divert the attention to the blond woman next to her. _“Since when did you start visiting places with weird names?”_

Jeongyeon has made up her mind, to be honest with Mina about her past. If she wants to help Mina, then she needs to show she trusts her too. And honestly speaking, Jeongyeon does trust Mina. _“Well, since I got divorced. I started doing things that I wanted to do before. And traveling is one of them.”_

Mina is surprised by the revelation. She has no idea Jeongyeon was married once. _“What happened, Jeong? I’m sorry for asking.”_

_“Seriously, Mina, stop apologizing,”_ Jeongyeon chuckles. _“You can ask me anything you wanna know. My ex-wife and I were married for three years. We have a daughter named Chaeyoung. She’s my ex-wife’s daughter actually, not mine. But I raised her as my own.”_

Mina listens attentively. Jeongyeon opens her phone and shows Mina pictures of Chaeyoung. _“She’s three years old now,”_ Jeongyeon tells the Japanese. _“She calls me Mommy Elsa. Do you like Frozen?”_

_“Yes, I have seen it. It’s a nice movie, quite controversial.”_ Mina replies. _“And the song, it’s like the anthem for coming out of the closet.”_ eyes avoiding Jeongyeon’s.

Jeongyeon nods in agreement, _“True, it was on the news in Belgium too.”_ She looks at her daughter’s photo, “ _My daughter calls me Mommy Elsa because I used to have long hair.”_ and shows her picture to Mina who is amazed at how she looks like Elsa as she cosplays the Frozen princess. _“And she calls herself Princess Anna.”_

_“She’s such a beautiful kid,”_ Mina said adoringly at the toddler. “ _How about your ex-wife? Did she marry again?”_ Mina further inquires.

_“She married the father of our - her daughter,”_ Jeongyeon answers, her voice cracking a little. Jeongyeon shares her story with Mina and the latter holds her hand tightly. She feels so bad for Jeongyeon for having to go through all that despite her sacrifices, especially losing her custody battle for Chaeyoung. _“Yeonie, I hope one day you get reconnected with Chaeyoung. You deserve it, you both deserve it. I can only imagine how much the kid misses you.”_

Jeongyeon sighs, _“I guess that’s enough heartache for now.”_ Jeongyeon stands up and then she smiles at the smaller girl. _“What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done in your life, Mina-yah?”_ Jeongyeon asks the Japanese.

_“I don’t want to disappoint you, Jeongyeon, but my life has been really boring,”_ she replies.

Jeongyeon wears a grin on her face, and Mina has a feeling they’re up to no good.

  
  


________

And so they find themselves inside the pick-up car parked in Fucking. It’s past 11 in the evening now and it’s getting darker. Mina could say no but somehow the thrill of breaking the rules and doing something illicit gets her blood pumping. 

Jeongyeon checks to see if anyone is around. They decide to drive around and come back when it is dark enough. Jeongyeon is grinning at her partner in crime. And Mina giggles at how silly they are. Mina, the good girl, finally dares to be bad.

A few minutes before midnight, the duo returns to their chosen spot, trying not to look suspicious and attract attention. After confirming that no one is around except them, Mina gave Jeongyeon the go signal and Jeongyeon started wrestling with the road sign. The lookout Mina decides to help Jeongyeon to finish the mission faster. With adrenalin rushing through their veins, they managed to uproot the road sign and load it in the back of the pick-up.

Both are catching their breaths when they got seated inside the car. Jeongyeon turns on the engine and drives away from the scene. When they are sure they are far enough to arouse suspicion, Jeongyeon stops the car and goes outside. Mina follows suit, eyes wide in excitement _. “We really did it!”_ she exclaims hugging Jeongyeon as she jumps (in tiny hahaha).

_“Oh my god, I can’t believe we did it!”_ the panting Jeongyeon is as thrilled as she is. She may have suggested it but she has never done something as crazy as that before. Jeongyeon is not one to break the rules. 

_“What shall we do with that road sign?”_ Mina asks, they didn’t talk about that to do with it. They just planned to steal the road sign as a souvenir. The country is changing the name from Fucking to Fugging at the beginning of January 2021. So this is their only chance to keep a remembrance of their adventure.

Jeongyeon smirks, _“Don’t worry. I have the perfect spot for it.”_

_“Where?”_

Jeongyeon smiles, her face bright from exhilaration. “You’ll find it out eventually.” Jeongyeon already pictures it in her head, that road sign hanging by the wall.

The happy penguin, as Jeongyeon puts it, merrily spins in circles with her arms stretched out. Feeling the gush of wind that to her feels like freedom. Jeongyeon loves it, seeing the little bird with broken wings is spreading her wings once more. She stops spinning and giggles at the blond woman who is tenderly watching her. _“Jeongyeon, I FUCKING LOVE AUSTRIA!”_ the happy penguin yells and Jeongyeon lets her do as she pleases, they’re in the middle of nowhere anyway, no one will hear her. And that was the loudest she hears of Mina. The soft-spoken Mina who speaks in a hushed tone.

Jeongyeon laughs at the shorter girl and copies her, _“I FUCKING LOVE AUSTRIA!”_ Mina cannot hold her laughter either. She’s supposed to be anxious right now. She easily gets anxious about doing things that can affect her image. But no, she is in fact happy. Mina is very happy.

Mina suggests they take pictures with the road sign they stole. They take turns posing with their “souvenir”, making funny poses and faces.

She looks at Jeongyeon wondering where she might be right at this moment if they never met.

When they finally get back inside the car, Jeongyeon takes off her outer shirt that is now drenched in sweat. She wipes off the beads of sweat on her forehead. Mina’s gaze follows Jeongyeon’s every movement in slow motion. She gulps as Jeongyeon dries off her neck with a towel, down to her jaw, neck, collarbone, and chest. . She never thought wiping sweat away can be this ... sexy. She doesn't want to put it that way but Jeongyeon oozes with sex appeal and she's not even trying. Mina is attracted to Jeongyeon from the very beginning. It was admiration but she herself is surprised how she also is attracted with the blond woman - _sexually_? That night she kissed Jeongyeon's cheek, she wanted to kiss her lips then but chickened out at the last moment. She instantaneously feels the urge to drink as her throat runs dry. She drinks from her water bottle, trying to cool herself down.

Jeongyeons can feel the sexual tension building up, too. But she tries to downplay it and asks Mina to hand her the bottle as she is thirsty as well. Mina hands her the water bottle and she was taken aback when her hand touches hers, both feeling the electricity. They stare into each other’s eyes, waiting on what the other’s next move will be. Mina’s gaze lands on Jeongyeon’s lips, lost on how inviting they are. Suddenly the car feels too crowded and both can feel the tension in the air. Jeongyeon wets her lips in anticipation. Silence fills the air. So still that Mina can hear her own racing heartbeat. She wants to do it. She's tempted to cross the line and taste Jeongyeon's lips - sinfully red and luscious, like that fruit that caused the downfall of mankind.

Jeongyeon is the one to break the moment, holding on to the last strand of self-control. Because as much as she wants to keep her sanity, she also wants to take Mina in her arms and kiss her passionately. And who knows where it might take them. She drinks from the bottle and turns on the airco to maximum, calming their aroused selves down.  
  
  


________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since 1 January 2021, the place's name is changed from Fucking to Fugging.  
> And I don't encourage thievery.
> 
> Except when it's our girls stealing hearts.  
> Hehe Jeongmi


	5. AREN'T WE ALREADY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night Jeongyeon stole two things - the road sign and a kiss on Mina’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter with angst in mind. But since we got tons of Jeongmi crumbs today, I tried rewriting the story. I couldn't change some angsty parts since they are crucial.
> 
> However, expect more fluff in the next chapter.
> 
> Hehe Jeongmi

It has completely gone out of Jeongyeon’s mind how long it must have been since she turned the airco on to maximum. Not until she sees a shivering penguin. Yes, this special penguin easily gets cold. This penguin, who a while ago wanted to devour Jeongyeon, is now shivering like a little chick lost without the mother hen. Mina is wearing a loose-fit knitted cardigan with a simple tee, denim cut-offs, and neon turquoise trainers. She would have been fine had Jeongyeon not decided to turn the car into a refrigerator.

Jeongyeon is quick to grab her backpack from the backseat and take her flannel shirt out. All her horniness flew out the window the moment she saw the quivering girl. She helps Mina put the shirt on. Jeongyeon turns off the airco and rolls the windows down. She feels bad as takes Mina’s cold hands in hers, softly rubbing to warm them up.

The blonde is wearing a baseball cap, fresh camouflage T-shirt, dark blue cuffed skinnies, and white trainers. Her fair skin is slightly tanned from being in the sun. She looks at the girl with a worried look on her face, only to find the Japanese looking amused and giggling. Jeongyeon’s brows slightly furrow, Mina smiles at her saying, _“Sorry, this is just **Fucking** hilarious.” _Emphasizing the word in reference to the place’s name, quoting the air with her fingers.

Jeongyeon sure is glad that the tension is gone. She smirks at the girl, _“I thought for a while there you were going to kiss me.”_ Jeongyeon means it as a joke but is surprised that Mina did not even try to deny it.

Mina was wary in the beginning, always careful with what she says and how she acts, as she has always done in South Korea. But there is this kind of feeling she gets when she’s with Jeongyeon. She feels comfortable in her own skin.

 _“I wanted to. But you have your way of freezing things, Princess Elsa.”_ Mina laughs at their state. _“I was about to turn to ice moments ago!”_

Jeongyeon shyly smiles, eyes cast low, _“I’m sorry about that. It’s not that I do not find you irresistible -”_

 _“Irresistible? And yet you were able to resist me. I’m not that irresistible then.”_ Mina jokingly pouts.

She stops rubbing Mina’s palms and smiles sweetly, eyes speaking words that her lips cannot utter. She cups Mina’s face with her palms, staring adoringly into her eyes, and plants a kiss on her forehead. _“Believe me, you are.”_ She teasingly pokes the other girl’s nose and then sits properly on the driver’s seat. 

Mina is not done with teasing yet, _“Don’t I get a kiss on the lips?”_

The blonde laughs and turns her head to face Mina. But as she does, she comes face to face with the Japanese who is only a fragment of space between their faces. So close she can feel Mina’s breath on her lips and smell the mint scent in it.

The startled Jeongyeon instantly moved back earning a chuckle from Mina with a fist in the air, declaring yet another victory.

 _“Mina!”_ Jeongyeon complains, face flushed from embarrassment.

The Japanese is wearing a mischievous grin, biting her lower lip before sticking her tongue out on the side. Something Jeongyeon finds utterly seductive at the moment.

 _“Be careful what you wish for, miss,”_ she warns the girl.

But the unrelenting Mina won't just give up.

“ _What if I wish for it now, will you grant -,”_ Mina is not able to finish what she was supposed to say as her smart mouth was silenced by Jeongyeon’s lips. Kissing her softly, gently. Like a vulnerable piece of china she might break if she moves harshly.

Mina is taken aback, her teasing completely backfired, rendering her speechless at the moment. But the kiss, though brief, lingers on her lips still. The memory of Jeongyeon’s soft lips against hers. Surprisingly, she was left wanting more.

That's why you need to be careful what you wish for. Mina just got it. Nevertheless, she's bothered by she doesn't feel sorry at all.

Jeongyeon casually restarts the engine and plays her playlist. A smile is playing on her lips. They hit the road again as Jonas Blue’s Perfect Strangers plays in the air.

_“Who knows the secret tomorrow will hold?  
_ _We don't really need to know  
_ _'Cause you're here with me now, I don't want you to go  
_ _You're here with me now, I don't want you to go”_

That night Jeongyeon stole two things - the road sign and a kiss on Mina’s lips.

  
  


________

Mina sips from her glass, feeling the rosé wine cascade down her throat - leaving a warm trail behind. The wine is slightly spritzy and smells like juicy watermelon and strawberries on the nose followed by citrus for balance. Perfect, she's crazy for watermelon and this drink is somehow satisfying. She stares into the night lights that seem to flicker in the dark. It’s cold outside on the balcony but staying in her bed is useless since she cannot sleep. Thanks to her long “sleeping beauty” mode caused by the sleeping pills. Now she’s admiring the merlot shade rosé, hoping it will help her slumber.

Mina cannot cease herself from thinking about what happened earlier in the car. The image of Jeongyeon tarries in her mind, replaying like an old broken record that she cannot shake from her head off. She closes her eyes, trying to divert her attention to the taste of alcohol in her mouth. And yet it’s the pair of sexy lips she badly wants to taste - again.

She sighs, frustrated about how she feels. Asking herself why she feels that way towards Jeongyeon. They know each other for like a month, and before that, they’re complete strangers. Is she that desperate for companionship? And yet everything feels so right with her. 

Jeongyeon emerges clad in her pajamas with a blanket in hand, closing the sliding doors behind her. She smiles at the Japanese who’s drinking by herself. She smiles back and offers a glass of wine to her which Jeongyeon gratefully accepts. She sits beside Mina and drapes the blanket over them. The younger girl scoots closer to Jeongyeon, their shoulders touching. Finding comfort in the warmth emanating from their bodies.

 _“What are you listening to, Mina?”_ Jeongyeon asks and Mina takes off one of her earphones and places it on Jeongyeon’s left ear. Jeongyeon focuses on the music which sounded new to her ears. _“What song is this?”_ Avoiding to talk about the kiss.

Mina turns her head to face her, _“Somewhere in Time by John Barry.”_

Jeongyeon closes her eyes, letting the music take her away. Feeling the melancholy, the longing, the pain. _So this is the kind of music Mina likes_ , she thinks to herself. _“It sounds so sad though.”_

 _“Haven’t you seen the movie Somewhere in Time yet?”_ she asks.

Jeongyeon shakes her head. _“Shall we watch it some time?”_ Mina asks and Jeongyeon replies, _“Deal,”_ clinking their glasses.

A few more glasses of wine and a generous amount of laughter shared after, they find themselves sitting beside each other on the queen-sized bed, still listening to Mina’s playlist. Both a little drunk as they listen to Bach’s Cello Suite No.1 in G, Chopin - Nocturne op.9 No.2, and Ballade pour Adeline by André Rieu (original by Richard Clayderman).

 _“Mina, your taste in music is exquisite,”_ Jeongyeon tells the girl whose head is now resting on her shoulder. _“I know André Rieu, he’s from the Netherlands. Mom took me to his concerts a few times. You and my mom have the same taste in music,”_ Jeongyeon tells the shorter woman. 

_“It helps me sleep,”_ Mina replies. _“When I listen to them I feel like I’m seeing the world through misty rainfall. Calm. Gentle. Like a dream.”_ Mina closes her eyes, playing a scene in her head like a movie, _“Being transported back in time, maybe 50s, 60s - the hushed conversations of people walking through the streets somewhere in Europe. A nostalgia for a time you have never known.”_

Jeongyeon smiles, _“Anemoia.”_

Mina looks at her, _“Yes, you are right. Anemoia.”_

 _“You know what, I feel so privileged right now.”_ The blonde confesses and that caught Mina’s unrivaled attention.

_“And why is that?”_

_“Because I get to see this, hear this from you. And what you said earlier is music to my ears. It’s beautiful, Mina. Like poetry.”_

They remain silent as they continue to listen to Rachel Portman’s We Had Today.

Mina shifts in bed to sit upright, hugging her knees, _“Can I tell you something about myself, Jeongyeon? I want to be honest with you because I like, I like what we are to each other.”_ Mina wonders what they even are to each other.

Jeongyeon takes off the earphone, giving Mina her undivided attention. _“You can tell me everything, Mina,”_ Jeongyeon rubs Mina’s shoulder, bolstering the girl.

Possibly it is the wine that makes her gather her courage up, but she has been thinking about it lately - disclosing to Jeongyeon her secret. She just couldn’t find the right moment or know where to start. And this moment feels like the right time.

 _“Back home they call me by the name Miss M,”_ she starts, Jeongyeon listens attentively. She knows that by now, Mina is an artist back in Korea.

 _“You asked me what I do for a living. I’m a clown back in South Korea, Jeongyeon.”_ Mina says sarcastically with a smile that does not reach her eyes. _“I smile even when I don’t want to. Isn’t that what clowns do? I entertain people. I do what is expected of me to do. I put makeup on, like a clown. Hiding my misery.”_ Mina says, sadness evident on her face.

Jeongyeon holds her hand, encouraging her to continue. _“I started working as an idol when I was 15 years old. I was happy back then that I was able to become what I dreamed of. But the dream that I had became a prison for me. I used to love performing and perform with passion. But things started to change when I began earning more.”_ She pauses for a bit, trying to suppress her impending tears. _“Since I was young back then, I entrusted all my earnings to my parents. But I was unaware that they used it on other things. They did not consult me, maybe because I was still a teenager. They started living in luxury, buying luxury cars, luxurious properties. They became addicted to gambling and before I knew it, I was broke - we were broke. I don’t know how it happened but I found out they were deep in debts and could not pay them. The people they owe money from came after me. I was only 19 back then, Jeong. Those people threatened me they would destroy my career if they exposed the scandal. I had to pay for them. I did. I sold everything and was left with almost nothing. My four years of hard work were gone in an instant. I hated my parents for it. My parents moved back to Japan with my brother to start a new life. I wanted to cut off any connection with them but I care for my younger brother. I still support them for the sake of my brother. I want him to finish studying, something I wasn’t able to do.”_

Mina doesn’t want to cry, but the pent-up emotions come flooding out. _“I thought then that when I have already paid for everything I will be okay again. But no. I became anxious, scared an issue will come out about it. I became scared when reporters came up to me. Slowly, I hated being in the spotlight. I endured in silence, hoping the next day it will be better. However, my critics are unrelentless and merciless. Negative stories after negative stories were written about me even when I tried doing my best. Even after I received awards proving my worth as an artist. I guess there are just people who hate me for merely breathing.”_ Jeongyeon carefully wipes Mina’s tears with her hand and pulls her in a hug. Gently tapping her back to console her.

She listens to the Japanese girl’s story between sobs, her heart feeling heavy at what she hears. Feeling Mina’s pain. “I dated a male idol,” Mina says and Jeongyeon remembers the name BamBam. _“We dated for a year and a half but it wasn’t easy. We couldn’t date normally. We couldn’t go out in public. And one time we went out secretly, we were spotted by paparazzi. I received so much hate from his fans. All that time I was already suffering from anxiety. But he didn’t seem to care. He wanted more from our relationship. He wanted to go beyond kissing and making out. Something I could not give him.”_ Jeongyeon gritted her teeth, so she’s right about him being an asshole. _“But I wasn’t being completely honest with him and myself.”_

Jeongyeon caresses Mina’s head, _“About what, Mina?”_

 _“About - about my feelings,”_ Mina replies. Jeongyeon can feel Mina’s warm tears on the crook of her neck.

_“Tell me.”_

_“When I said my dream became my prison cell, I mean to say that I became imprisoned by the image of me as Miss M. Mina stopped existing a long time ago. I lived as the Miss M the public wanted to see. I feel caged in my own body.”_ Mina retracts herself from Jeongyeon and the blonde can see how broken she is. She badly wants to help Mina, to be there for her.

“I played different roles in front of the cameras. I play a role in front of the people every day, as Miss M. My biggest role, one I’m bound to in chains.” Mina laughs in sarcasm. _“I bet I will receive the best actress award for playing Miss M so well. I’m a pathological liar. Do you understand? I lie to everyone. I lie to myself.”_

Mina pauses as she was about to tell her biggest secret, _“You see… I like girls, Jeong. And you of all people know what that means in South Korea.”_ Mina’s eyes brim with tears as she breaks into sobs. _“I’m a mess. I have a messed-up relationship with my family. I lie about my sexuality. I lie about what I feel. I pretend to be someone else every day.”_

Jeongyeon understands Mina completely. The stigma, the homophobia. She experienced it from her very own family - the people who were supposed to protect her.

 _“I’m a horrible person, Jeong. I dated that man to test my feelings. I was unsure back then. I tried convincing myself I’m not gay. I - I gave myself to him. But I felt nothing. No love. Instead, I was disgusted with myself afterward. I’m nothing but a liar with a broken soul.”_ Mina breaks down. She finally said it out loud. The truth she was hiding all these years in her heart. Jeongyeon knows Mina needs this release and empty her chest.

But Mina starts panting and trembling. She is sweating with her skin feeling cold as fear comes crawling back to her. Anxiety takes her over.

 _“Mina, I’m with you,”_ she reassures the girl. _“Mina, I’m here. Look at me.”_ She holds Mina both in the shoulders, looking straight at her, _“Mina, breathe in,”_ she guides the girl, _“breathe out.”_ She asks Mina to sit comfortably and put one hand on her chest, the other on the stomach. She instructs Mina to take a slow and regular breath through the nose and breathe out slowly through the mouth. Repeating the process until Mina finally relaxes.

She asks the girl if she wants a glass of water. Mina nods and she swiftly fetches water and waits until Mina finishes drinking it. She sits beside Mina in bed, holding her hand. _“Mina, it’s good that you finally let it all out. It’s the beginning of healing.”_

Mina looks at her, eyes searching answers in hers, _“Do you think I’m a bad person, Jeong?”_

 _“No, I don’t think you are a bad person. You are a kind soul in a wicked world,”_ Jeongyeon replies. _“You are strong, having to endure it by yourself all along.”_

 _“But I lied. I even used someone,”_ Mina says, with guilt apparent in her voice.

Jeongyeon decides to tell her she knows who she is, _“I lied to you, too. I know who you are, Mina.”_ Mina is surprised, clearly not prepared to hear that. Jeongyeon tells her what happened and Mina just nods her head. She thanks Jeongyeon for doing what she did. It just proves she can trust her.

 _“I listened to your songs. And the songs you wrote are wonderful. I listened to many of them,”_ Jeongyeon sincerely compliments the girl, and Mina blushes. 

_“I’m not that great, Yoo Jeongyeon.”_ Mina timidly replies.

Jeongyeon nudges her head against Mina, _“You are. I may have only read about your work. But getting to know you in person, I know you are.”_

 _“I especially remember Like A Fool and Melting. Did you write those for that guy?”_ Jeongyeon asks, she wants to know what Mina’s relationship with BamBam is. _“That Bambam guy?”_ she hesitantly continues. Even saying the same irritates her.

Mina shakes her head. She takes a deep breath, _“When I was 19, I filmed a Kdrama. I worked with a fellow actress who is as old as me. Her name is Chou Sally. She’s a wonderful friend and I was grateful to have a friend around my age. But I unexpectedly started catching feelings for her. And so did she for me. She was my first love. We were both scared that the people will find out. We couldn’t commit to a relationship. Too many eyes. We’re always careful how we act around others. But we were young, we were impulsive. The media started to suspect our closeness, especially when we released the song we collaborated on - The Best Thing I Ever Did. Sally and I grew apart.”_

 _“And so you dated him to convince yourself that you were just confused?”_ Jeongyeon asks. She remembers how she also dated a guy before to test herself.

 _“I gave it a try. I really tried to reciprocate the feeling but I couldn’t. So I broke it off with him.”_ Guilt visible on her face, _“I don’t want to keep on that charade anymore.”_

 _“That makes the two of us then. I also did that, Mina,”_ Jeongyeon confessed. _“And I don’t think that makes us horrible people. You gotta have to learn to forgive yourself, too. You’re so hard on yourself, Mina. Learn to accept the things you can’t change. That’s how we grow.”_

Mina stares into Jeongyeon’s eyes, thinking how someone who’s only months older than she can understand so much about life. _“I would like to think that we were meant to meet to heal each other,”_ Mina unconsciously says and is flabbergasted that she said it out loud.

Jeongyeon smiles at the startled lady next to her, _“Shall we? Let’s take this time to heal ourselves. To accept what we can’t change. To forgive ourselves. To chose ourselves. To love ourselves.”_ She extends her palm to Mina which the latter takes, _“Okay, here’s to healing.”_

They smile at each other, hearts feeling a lot lighter. And there’s that gummy smile that Jeongyeon is so fond of, the smile that tickles her heart. _“To healing.”_ She shakes Mina’s hand but then remembers something.

 _“Mina, are you taking your medicine regularly?”_ she asks. _“I know you’ve been taking antidepressants.”_ She saw the bottle of pills Mina once forgot on the kitchen counter.

 _“I - I stopped taking them,”_ Mina replies.

Jeongyeon incredulously looks at her, _“Did you slowly stop, or did you stop all at once?”_

_“I stopped all at once.”_

Jeongyeon shakes her head, proving her suspicion was correct. Someone who stops taking antidepressants right away can develop discontinuation syndrome. That is why it is important to slowly quit, tapering down the medication gradually before fully quitting to avoid or minimize symptoms. And Mina abruptly stopped. Although not all develop antidepressant discontinuation syndrome, many suffer from it as the brain does not have enough time to adjust to rapid chemical changes. She knows because Nayeon did that, and she endured withdrawal symptoms. Nayeon suffered from anxiety, insomnia, tiredness, irritability, flu-like symptoms (achy muscles and chills), nausea, dizziness, and a return of depression symptoms.

 _“You do know it’s not good, right?”_ Jeongyeon asks the Japanese woman.

Mina nods, _“I know. But I don’t want to keep taking it.”_

 _“Mina, listen. I understand you don’t want to, but you need to otherwise you will relapse. And I think you already do.”_ Jeongyeon sternly gazes at her. And so they talked about it and decided to call a doctor the next day, Jeongyeon’s friend Momo.

Jeongyeon stands up, going back to her bed. But Mina stops her midway. She grabs her hand, stopping her from leaving the bed.

 _“Stay,”_ Mina says with imploring eyes. _“Stay with me, Yeonie.”_

And so Jeongyeon sits back.

Jeongyeon is quite unsure what just happened, how they end up in that position - arms around each other, sharing a passionate kiss. Was it her? Was it Mina? Or hold the bottle of wine accountable for losing self-control. Jeongyeon’s hand finds its way inside Mina’s shirt, caressing the bare skin on her back and hips. The other one on Mina’s nape. She softly bites Mina’s lower lip, and Mina lets out a sexy moan, so sinful and tempting making _almost_ impossible for Jeongyeon to stop.

Jeongyeon is not a saint, although she has been _“celibate”_ for a long time. She gathers all her self-control, whatever is left. Reminding herself what they talked about earlier. She retracts from the kiss, her forehead resting against Mina’s. Both catching their breaths.

 _“I really like you, Mina. And to be honest, I think I’m falling for you,”_ Jeongyeon admits. Fuck trying to hide her emotions. They’re both adults, they’ve both been through a lot. The last thing they need is a game of hide and seek. And they’re done with that rubbish. Maybe that’s what happens to people who have had enough bullshit in their lives.

Mina holds her hand, _“Will it be bad if I tell you I’m falling for you, too?”_

“ _I_ _t’s just going so fast,”_ Jeongyeon says.

 _“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m falling for you,”_ Mina replies.

Jeongyeon initially planned to sleep on a separate bed. But that night she slept on the queen-sized bed with a girl who found rest in her arms.

  
  


________

As they have agreed upon, they called Momo to seek help. Momo is beyond surprised to see Mina sitting beside Jeongyeon. She’s internally screaming right now but tries to remain professional. She knows Miss M. Although she’s not really into Kpop, she likes her because they’re both Japanese.

With Momo’s advice, Mina agrees on the schedule given to her with the amount of medicine she needs to take by then. Helping her to gradually quit.

As soon as Mina excused herself, Momo confronts Jeongyeon, _“Jeongyeonah! How did you manage to catch the biggest fish from the ocean?!”_ Believing Mina left the room but is actually within hearing distance.

Mina chuckles with what she hears.

Jeongyeon apologized embarrassingly to the now smirking Japanese and went out to the balcony.

 _“Stop yelling!”_ Jeongyeon tells her friend. _“I told you we’re not dating.”_

 _“Bitch, my gaydar is working perfectly. I sense something between the two of you,”_ Momo continues to interrogate her and Jeongyeon just brushes off her questions. (gaydar: gay radar)

 _“Does Sana know?”_ Momo asks.

 _“She knows about Mina,”_ Jeongyeon replies, and Momo shoots her a sharp glare, feeling betrayed by her two best friends. Jeongyeon only laughed, calming the sulking Yumeko Jabami. That’s how they jokingly call her as she has the resemblance of the anime character, especially when Momo cut her way same as the said Yumeko Jabami.

“ _She doesn’t seem arrogant though. I mean Mina. She’s very, how you call it, normal? Ordinary?”_ Momo says.

Jeongyeon chuckles, _“How do you expect her to act? Like a royalty?”_

Momo pouts, _“I don’t know. Proud, maybe?”_

_“She’s not like that, Momo. You’ll be amazed when you get to know her better.”_

Momo snaps at her, _“Bitch, that’s why you need to bring her to Belgium so we get to know her. Duh!”_

Jeongyeon irritatingly moves the phone farther, _“What did I tell you about yelling, domkop! You keep shouting like you’re not a doctor. You don’t even look like one,”_ Jeongyeon hisses. (domkop: idiot, stupid)

Momo clears her throat, _“Which reminds me to charge you for this session with no prior appointment. And I’m gonna charge you double! No, triple for calling me a domkop and saying I don’t look like a doctor.”_ She grins at Jeongyeon and continues, _“Unless you let us meet the mooie Mina.”_ (Mooi: beautiful)

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes to Momo’s amusement. 

Mina appears through the sliding doors and asks Jeongyeon if they will leave soon. Jeongyeon confirms and tells Momo she’s hanging up. Mina joins Jeongyeon, her chin on Jeongyeon's shoulder, and bids Momo goodbye.

Jeongyeon usually follows what has been planned on the iterinary. But since she met Mina, she has been going with the flow. She’s becoming more spontaneous, something she was not. And if you tell her friends about it, they’ll be surprised. Even she, herself, is surprised that it actually is not bad after all. Spontaneity is fun.

Like right now, they were supposed to visit Oberfucking and Unterfucking, instead, they are on their way to a salon to have their hair dyed. Mina wants to have her hair dyed blonde. While Jeongyeon wants to have silver highlights. And that’s what they did. Jeongyeon thinks it’s even better for Mina, she will not be easily recognized with her transformation.

However, when it was done, Jeongyeon’s jaw dropped. Blonde Mina hits differently. They wanted her not to attract attention but damn, only a blind person will not turn his head when Mina is around. And so they opted for superman’s secret. The power of wearing specs, as it magically makes one unrecognizable. Mina finds it ridiculous but wears the glasses anyway.

What happened the night before certainly changed their dynamics. She can look at Jeongyeon now squarely in the eyes with no fear of being found out. It’s different with Jeongyeon. Maybe because they understand what each other is going through.

Jeongyeon has been guarding her heart. She built a wall around her. And yet Mina just barged her way through. It’s different with Mina. Perhaps because she sees her messed up life and it looks much like hers.

Two broken people, picking up their broken pieces and trying to put them back together.

  
  


________

The two ladies enjoyed the rest of their stay in Upper Austria. As they planned in the beginning, they visited Oberfucking and Unterfucking. But this time they did not steal any road signs (lol). They also went to visit museums and churches, famous landmarks, and nature parks.

Jeongyeon also learns from the Japanese that her nickname is Minari. Jeongyeon loves it and has been calling her that ever since. 

On their last day in Upper Austria, the two decided to go to Hallstatt and return to Innsbruck the next day.

  
  


________

Mina looks at Jeongyeon who is now lost in her thoughts as she stares into the vast Lake Hallstatt. They’ve decided to visit the place after pursuing their Fucking Epic iterinary. Mina would have preferred to have a hot cup of premium coffee right now. But Jeongyeon tells her it’s not good against her insomnia. So here she is, drinking decaf fruity tea. Not that it tastes bad, but she just loves coffee. And she feels tortured as she can smell the aroma of coffee wafting in the air as they sit in a café in Hallstatt.

Coming to Hallstatt is an impulsive decision that they do not regret making.

The wind blows away the clouds as two remain silent as they watch the sunset together. The horizon lights up, as the sky is filled with the colors of rubies and amber setting the clouds ablaze. Tardily the skies fade into blue and purple. The sun slowly descended from the sky and its rays struck the waters and created the illusion of gold coins as if a long-lost fortune from the sunken Spanish galleon was suddenly awash in ripples. Mina has never seen a sunset as beautiful as this. Not that she does not watch the sunset - she just did not pay attention to it before as she does now. She was walking too fast, failing to notice the simple things in life. Simple things that make life worthwhile. And that was why she broke down in Brandstatt-Alm. She was hit by the realization that she failed to appreciate life and living. She was chasing after the hand of the clock, never stopping to smell the flowers, listen to the birds, nor feel the earth on her feet.

Mina was stuck in limbo. She wanted for so long to get off, change her life. She’s sick and tired of pleasing people, being dictated what to do. She forgot to choose herself. She forgot to love herself first. Mina raises her teacup, inhaling the scent. A lone musician is playing his guitar and singing outside the cafe. A few people have gathered around. From there Mina can hear the song -

_STRANGERS IN LOVE by Parisians  
You're one in a million and  
_ _Lost in the crowd  
_ _I am searching for love  
_ _Reasons that I can stay  
_ _He's staring at blank pages  
_ _You're looking for white dresses  
_ _Tell me it's love  
_ _I will be on my way  
_ _People are strangers until they can fall in love  
_ _Fall in love  
_ _If we were strangers why did I fall in love?_

_“Minari.”_

Jeongyeon’s voice pulls her attention. Mina turns her head and meets Jeongyeon’s gaze. What is it with Jeongyeon and the sun? The sun seems to favor her and accentuate her beauty in leaps and bounds. Like a demi-god, a daughter of Helios, being showered with love by his doting father. Seeing the orange light of the setting sun on her face is breathtaking. Watching the sunset in her eyes sends Mina’s heart into overdrive. And if you ask her, Mina can write a song right then and there about Jeongyeon’s eyes, sunset and the throbbing feeling she has inside just by the mere thought of her.

 _“Myoui Mina, would you like to date me?_ _”_

Mina chuckles, causing a worried look on the beautiful lady's face who is sitting across her at the table, _"Aren't we already?"_

Jeongyeon smiles upon hearing Mina's response. She takes her hand in hers, kissing it. Mina blushes at the sweet gesture.

They say everything feels perfect when you are with the right person. And that's exactly what Jeongyeon feels right now. Looking at Mina as the sun is setting, listening to the street performer, listening to her beating heart - her heart that has been awakened from its deathlike slumber.

_People are strangers until they can fall in love  
_ _Fall in love  
_ _If we were strangers why did I fall in love?_

  
  


________


	6. I, MISS YOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Baby, our asian ancestors will rise from their graves if they smell this. This garlic needs a proper burial." She continues to laugh, but the penguin only glares at her.
> 
> That day, Jeongyeon learned not to criticise a penguin's cooking. But still she ate everything up, spoon after bitter spoon of burnt egg fried rice. "It's the thought that counts," she says with a smile.

The sun is high and the wind is gentle but enough to create music as it rustles against the leaves. Leaves swaying like a conductor of an orchestra, merging nature's sounds into a grand harmony.

When Mina learned that Jeongyeon owns a flower shop, she kept asking the lady to share her knowledge about flowers. So the two planned to search wild flowers. And today is a perfect day to go flower hunting.

As they go deeper into the woods, Jeongyeon piles up stones. Mina thinks it’s beautiful and takes pictures of the rock stackings. _“What do you call these?”_ Mina asks.

_“These are cairns. I stack these rocks for navigational purposes. Me and my da- father, did these when we ventured on places with no clear markings. But I remove them once we go back.”_

_“Why?”_

_“It’s disrupting the natural habitat of animals. Others do it for fun, which shouldn’t be done,”_ Jeongyeon explains. _“Wherever we are, we must seek to live in alignment with nature. Our decisions directly impact them - defenceless animals. By being here we are representatives and protectors.”_

Mina contemplates on what Jeongyeon has said. She gets very passionate when it involves nature and animals. Her girl’s a woman of substance, without a doubt.

Austria has a wide variety of wild flowers and the ladies want to search for them and place them in their vase at home - that one vase that Jeongyeon has been eyeing for days for being empty. Mina pays close attention to the flowers they find along the way as Jeongyeon explains what they are.

The two ladies are walking side by side as they follow the sound of the trickling water. It shouldn’t be far now, Jeongyeon supposes.

Jeongyeon is clutching Ray’s leash while Mina is holding a bouquet of flowers they have carefully selected - hawk’s beard, trumpet, marsh orchid, yarrows, edelweiss, rampion, wild daisies, etc.. As Jeongyeon glances at her, she realizes how Mina looks like a bride. She secretly smiles at the thought, looking away so Mina will not notice.

Mina’s face lightens up as soon as the stream is revealed to them through the foliage. She giddily runs to the bank, exhilarated by the beauty she beholds. Jeongyeon warns her to be careful as she begins to skip at the stones to cross the stream. The water glitters under the morning sun, sending reflection of lights into the Japanese’ face who is now squinting. She closes her eyes instantly but loses her balance. Thankfully, Jeongyeon is there to grab her before she slips and possibly hurt herself.

 _“Watch out, babe!”_ The worried Jeongyeon exclaims, not letting go of Mina’s arm.

 _“Omo! That was close!”_ Mina is clearly frightened.

 _“Hold my hand. Let’s cross together,”_ says the taller girl, while Ray-chan is watching them across the bank already. Mina takes her hand and they carefully step on rocks to cross the stream. Ray barks at the ladies, wagging his tail from excitement until it gets impatient. The dog decides to have a dip in the water, splashing as he happily plays. 

Jeongyeon goes after their furrbaby while Mina chooses a spot to sit under the shade of a beech tree. She leans her back against the tree, getting herself comfortable. She watches Jeongyeon play with Ray-chan on the shallow stream. Jeongyeon’s laughter and Ray’s occasional barks echoing in the solemnity of nature. The sight warms her heart. She hums a tune she has in mind. She takes out her iPad, notebook and pen. Mina opens a piano app (GarageBand) and starts playing the notes while scribbling it on her notebook.

Jeongyeon calls her name and beams at her. Mina smiles back, giving the older girl a little wave. She looks down at her notebook and starts penning some lines.

_Girl your heart, girl your face is so different from them others  
_ _I'll say, you're the only one that I'll adore  
_ _'Cause every time you're by my side  
_ _My blood rushes from my veins  
_ _And my geeky face, blushed so silly, yeah, oh yeah  
_ _And I want to make you mine_

She looks up again and sees Jeongyeon throwing a stick away, and Ray-chan fetching it for her. Mina is moved by how the simplicity of the moment feels perfect. She silently prays this moment will last forever.

_Oh, baby, I'll take you to the sky  
_ _Forever you and I (You and I) (You and I)  
_ _And we'll be together till we die  
_ _Our love will last forever and forever, you'll be mine  
_ _You'll be mine  
_ _Oh-ooh, oh-ooh_

Jeongyeon is now giggling as she is being showered by Ray’s licks/kisses. Mina laughs as Jeongyeon now is sitting on the river bank, wiping the tears from too much laughter. 

_Girl, your smile and your charm  
_ _Lingers always on my mind I'll say  
_ _You're the only one that I've waited for  
_ _And I want you to be mine_

Mina changes the instrument on the app to guitar and starts playing, singing the song she just wrote. She is so engrossed with her composition that she did not notice Jeongyeon and Ray-chan leaving. The Japanese now wears a worried look on her face when Jeongyeon and Ray are out of her sight. She stretches her neck, looking for the familiar faces. Mina stands up and walks towards the stream, wondering where the two are.

Before she worries further, she feels a pair of arms engulfing her in a hug from behind. She instantly smiles as she senses the familiar warmth. _“Where did you go?”_ she asks and turns to face Jeongyeon. Her eyes fell on the flower crown on the taller girl’s head. Her mouth parted, admiring how beautiful and demure Jeongyeon looks. 

_“I wanted to make you a flower crown,”_ Jeongyeon replies, placing the wreath over Mina’s head. _“You look like a princess,”_ she says, almost in a whisper as she blushes. What she really wanted to say was "You look like a beautiful bride."

Mina remembers her conversation with Maria once when the old woman asked her what her ideal type is.

 _“Someone who is kind, well-mannered, and playful; Someone who can lead me; Someone decisive,”_ she replied.

Maria asked her once more, _“And what do you think about Jeongyeon?”_

With a smile on her lips she responded, _“She takes good care of you. She tells you all the things you need to do. And surprisingly, she’s really cutesy.”_

 _“Oh,_ ” Maria says with her eyebrows raised. _“So your ideal type is just like Jeongyeon?”_ she continues with a knowing look on her face.

Mina gives Jeongyeon a chaste kiss on the lips, finding her cutesy girlfriend too adorable. And to answer Maria’s last statement, it’s a Y. E. S. Yes!

  
  
  


___________

Mina spots poppies and hurriedly plucks some, adding them to her bouquet of wildflowers. _“I love these flowers,”_ she gushes to the taller girl.

 _“These flowers grow a lot in Belgium. Do you know that Poppy is a remembrance symbol of World War One?”_ Jeongyeon asks. Mina shakes her head. _“Almost 9 million soldiers gave their lives on the battlefield or died due to injuries and diseases. Western Europe witnessed the most cruel battle between Allied and Central Powers. In the spring of 1915, red poppies grew and bloomed along the war-torn lands, in the northern part of France and Flanders, where I come from. A poem was written about it, “In Flanders Field” by John McCrae._

 _“It’s beautiful but its symbolism is quite sad. It symbolises death and remembrance,”_ Jeongyeon tells Mina.

 _“That’s where our cultures are different, babe,”_ Mina says. “ _It may represent death and remembrance in the West, but it represents success and love in the East.”_ Mina holds Jeongyeon’s hand, _“In China and Japan, red poppies symbolise deep love between two people. Don’t you think it’s interesting?”_

Jeongyeon nods her head and takes the poppies from Mina’s hands. _“I guess we choose the latter then. I like what it stands for in Japan,”_ she smiles at Mina, learning something about a flower she used not to like.

 _“How about we combine the two?”_ Mina suggests.

_“Uhmm, like how?”_

Mina’s eyes forms into a crescent moon as she smiles, 

_“Remember how deeply I love you.”_

" _Remember how deeply I love you?"_ she repeats.

_"I will always remember, because I will never forget.”_

  
  
  


___________

Jeongyeon cannot peel her eyes off Mina as she carefully gathers her hair, fingers subtly grazing her nape. Jeongyeon’s gaze follows Mina’s hands as she takes the elastic band that she is keeping between her lips to tie her hair into a ponytail. The Japanese turns her head and pays her a smile, and Jeongyeon feels an ignition in her heart. How can she look so lovely by simply tying her hair? She always looked like she’s from a catalogue. Ever so graceful in anything she does that Jeongyeon thinks she’s a ballerina. Beauty, grace and elegance personified. That’s her. Jeongyeon looks down and continues chopping onions as she feels her face burned. She even got annoyed with Momo for describing Mina as “ordinary”. But that’s Momo for you. She may be a brilliant doctor but sometimes her word choices can come out bland for her friends’ taste. Like calling Dahyun a vampire who hasn’t tasted blood for weeks for having pale skin.

Since they have been back to Neustift Im Stubaital, Jeongyeon and Mina engaged themselves into learning to live life in simplicity while cultivating an ardour of exuberance. They explore their interests, finding new hobbies and are amazed how their new lifestyle ignites their creativity. Not only do they enjoy writing, painting or reading, they also try other types of new skills and crafts. For example Jeongyeon picks up the guitar. Mina is learning from Maria how to knit and is surprised how quickly she learns, able to finish her very first scarf in less than five days. A red scarf she knows will perfectly fit Jeongyeon and keep her warm in winter. Both are also studying calligraphy together. That is how Mina learned that Jeongyeon is ambidextrous, she can write with her left hand when she’s tired or uncomfortable with her right.

Mina now understands Jeongyeon's passion for traveling and seeing new places. Traveling allows one to open their minds, see things in another perspective. It makes her appreciate life a little bit more. And while they covet the chance to travel and see places, they also find fulfilment in staying at home and doing mundane things. At least for Jeongyeon, but for Mina it is learning to be domesticated. They start with household chores like cleaning. And what better way to learn than from the cleaning master herself - Yoo Jeongyeon. Observing how Jeongyeon is, she deduces that Jeongyeon has obsessive compulsive tendencies (if she isn’t already). Jeongyeon can literally spend the entire day scrubbing making her abode spotless.

And today is another private cooking lesson with “chef” Jeongyeon. The taller woman is teaching Mina how to make Bucatini Carbonara. Yesterday, Mina wanted to impress her with egg fried rice. But -

Mina proudly presents her dish to her girlfriend, _"So, I sauteed the garlic until it turned brown and the I added then other ingredients."_ A gummy smile is plastered on her face.

Jeongyeon looks at the place of food served in front of her. It looks burnt. And it smells burnt. The garlic is charred, the rice is too, the egg is overcooked and dry, and the spring onion is wilted.

 _"Babe, you're supposed to fry the garlic until it is golden brown. Not cremate it!"_ Jeongyeon teases and laughs.

Mina pouts, obviously disappointed by the reaction she got.

 _"Baby, our asian ancestors will rise from their graves if they smell this. This garlic needs a proper burial."_ Continues to laugh, but the penguin only glared at her.

That day, Jeongyeon learned not to criticize a penguin's cooking. But still she ate everything up, spoon after bitter spoon of burnt egg fried rice. _"It's the thought that counts,"_ she said with a smile.

She watches Mina checking the water in the pot if it’s already boiling, constantly opening and closing the lid. Jeongyeon tries to hide her smile, feeling amused at the penguin waddling back and forth in the kitchen. Who would have thought that Mina behind the camera walks like this. She calls the girl over and teaches her how to chop the onion and garlic. Mina ends up in tears, fighting the unyielding onion on the chopping board. Jeongyeon chuckles and holds Mina’s hand, and guides it to slice the shallot.

Being away from modernity is a cathartic experience, it redefines what it is to live a meaningful life to them. She’s starting to realise that genuine fulfilment does not come from acquisition of material things. Mina has earned enough to live in comfort for the rest of her days and not worry for a day. But she isn’t happy. And there are many lonely people around the world living in bustling cities, around family and friends and yet still feel isolated and alone. Mina and Jeongyeon were one of them.

Just as the two finished cooking and started plating up, Maria arrived. The younger women invite her to join them for lunch which the older woman accepted.

The three sit around the table and start enjoying the home cooked meal paired with tannic red wine. Maria praises the ladies for the hearty meal and says it tastes better than the ones she orders from a restaurant. Jeongyeon thanks the older woman for the compliment and says it’s because she has an awesome sous chef, paying Mina a wink. The Japanese shake her head instantly, denying and telling she’s bad at cooking and that it’s all Jeongyeon’s doing.

Maria happily eyes the two ladies who praise each other but won’t accept any. 

Jeongyeon accidentally spills her glass on the table and the wine drips into her lap. Mina gets up right away to get a cloth and helps Jeongyeon dry herself. Jeongyeon beams at Mina, appreciating her thoughtful gesture which Mina returns just as sweetly.

Maria fakes a cough, drawing the attention of both ladies. Mina straightens up and goes back to her chair and Jeongyeon starts digging again into her plate of pasta. Maria laughs at the ladies’ reaction and tells them they do not have to tell her they are together, she already knows. Jeongyeon and Mina’s eyes grow wide. Are they that obvious?

It’s been days since they were back from Upper Austria and they did not mention to Maria about their relationship. It was somehow fiddly to open up about it first. Mina and Jeongyeon exchange glances at each other, waiting on who will reply to the old woman.

Finally Jeongyeon gives in and admits to the grandmother-figure that they indeed are together,

_“Yes, we are dating now.”_

Maria claps her hands in celebration, like someone who has won a bet. Well, she shipped the two ladies from the very beginning.

 _“I knew it! I know that you two will be together!”_ Maria exclaimed.

Jeongyeon and Mina look at each other. _(So the president of Jeongmi shippers is an 82 year old woman. Lol!)._

Mina asks in a slightly cracked voice, her voice is soft but enough to be heard,

_“How did you know?”_

How did Maria get the hunch they will be together from the very beginning?

Maria wipes her mouth with the table napkin before answering the girl’s question. Her mind takes her back in time, where Mina’s question will be answered.

 _“Because,”_ Maria starts, reminiscing her past once more, _“I’ve seen the same look in your eyes when I first met the woman I fell in love with.”_

  
  
  


___________

Maria was born in 1938 in Cebu City, Philippines. During that time the Philippine government was still under the protection and advice of the United States of America. Deeming that the acquisition of the Philippines by the United States was divine intervention, a lot of christian groups organized evangelical missions throughout the archipelago. Among those were the Baptists and Presbyterian who were assigned to work in Visayas, initially concentrating in Cebu under the Comity agreement. Maria’s belgian father was a Presbyterian missionary who once was doing missionary work in the US. He, among other missionaries, were sent to Cebu. There he met and fell in love with a beautiful Cebuana woman. They were blessed with a daughter who inherited the attributes of her father, to the relief of the Filipina mother. Being white gave her privilege, a step ahead in life, and some security.

Despite the hardships that the Filipinos went through, her parents made sure to help in any way they could. Maria, along with other local kids, attended the school built by the missionaries. Her mother worked as a teacher while her father was a pastor.

Things were going fine, until she reached adolescence. When love starts to blossom, and it blossoms for an unexpected person.

It was 1953 when Maria first met Camila. She was 15 back then with no idea what love was. But when she met her, something inside her told her she was looking at love in the eyes. 

That night they were introduced and Maria’s heart started to beat in a funny rhythm, giving her emotions she hadn’t felt before. Later that evening she saw her again, dancing to the song "Till I Waltz Again With You" by Teresa Brewer with a young man. And Maria was silently hoping it was her instead. 

She started to question herself and the indoctrination she grew up with - should a woman only fall in love with a man? Was she committing a sin for loving someone in the same gender? Being a daughter of a missionary made it even more choking for her. So, Maria could only steal secret glances at Camila from a distance. That night she danced alone in her room to the same song with Camila’s beautiful face etched in her mind. Waltzing in tune with the beating of her heart.

But a heart wants what it wants. And Camila confessed she felt the same way towards Maria, too. The two kept their relationship hidden with great caution. Stealing hugs and kisses, and whispered love declarations. Meeting each other in secret behind an old Narra tree that served as a living testimony to their love in the dead of the night. Both aware it’s impossible for them to be together, not in their lifetime.

That same year, the Korean war began and 7,450 Filipino soldiers were sent under the designation of the Philippine Expeditionary Forces to Korea. Camila’s father was one of them. Being sent to the war zone was almost the same as accepting a death sentence. There was no guarantee her father would be coming back. And he never made it back home to his family again.

Maria’s family took Camila in. Maria was happy they’re together under the same roof, but was also worried as her emotions might give them away. Being together was a dream a daughter of a missionary and a daughter of a fallen soldier could not afford.

It wasn’t long after that their secret was found out by her parents. Her father was enraged with the revelation, and was alarmed for the possibility of the scandal spreading. Without thinking long, her parents decided to move to Belgium.

Sixty-four years ago, in 1956 when the Philippines was doing well on the 10th year of its political independence, Maria said her goodbyes to Camila. Sadly, their love knew no freedom at all. Late in the evening under the same old Narra tree, they shared one last kiss, one last embrace. Camila took Maria’s hand and placed it upon her chest, feeling the beating of her heart saying, _“For as long as I live, my heart will only know your name.”_

Maria broke down in tears, she was 18. Running away was an option but what then? Where would they go? She didn’t want to live in constant fear, with stigma. With uprisings and rebellion movements going on, Maria couldn't take the risk. She couldn't be selfish for both of them. She takes her hand away, looking at Camila in the eyes, _“Don’t say that. I’d like you to fall in love again, get married, have kids. You deserve a chance at happiness that I can’t give you. Be free. Forget me.”_ She said but deep in her heart she knew she, herself, would never forget. When she left that night, Maria did not look back. And Camila watched her disappear into the dark. As dark as her life without her.

Maria met Jan in Belgium. They got married, as what her parents wanted for her to settle down. Jan is a wonderful man, very kind and understanding. He became Maria’s confidant and bestfriend. He knows Maria’s past but loves her just the same.

In 1996, after forty long years, Maria set foot in Cebu again with her husband Jan. Months ago before returning, they hired someone to look for Camila. And he found her in a hospital in Cebu. Spending her remaining days. Camila was on the terminal stage of her illness and there’s no hope left for her to recover.

The now 58 years old Maria was standing in the lobby inside the hospital, hesitant to go in and see Camila again. Her husband Jan kissed her forehead and gave her time to talk with Camila.

Maria sighed and finally took slow faltering steps until she found herself in the entrance of Camila’s room. Camila is lying in bed, facing the window. Maria didn’t knock, she didn’t call out her name. She just stood there, motionless with her tongue tied. And yet Camila somehow felt her presence, standing there. A presence she had been longing to feel again all through those years.

She turned around and tears started to fill her eyes the moment her gaze fell on Maria again.

Without a hi or a hello, Maria slowly made her way towards Camila’s side and engulfed her in a warm embrace. Forty years of waiting has come to this. They remained in that hug for a long time, crying. Letting their hearts heal from the prolonged pain of each other’s absence.

Camila learned that Maria got married and was now a mother of two. She felt happy for her finding her place and happiness. As for Camila, she remained unmarried. Staying true to the promise she made forty years ago. Maria felt sad with what she found out, but Camila assured her that she poured her heart and soul into teaching until her disease forced her to stop. And that she need not worry about her.

 _“Didn’t Jan tell you?”_ Camila asked as Maria gently rubbed her hand, feeling sorry at how those once lovely hands have withered in time.

 _“About what?”_ the confused Maria inquired.

Camila smiled, _“Jan knew I was sick a long time ago. He’s been paying for my treatment. I begged him not to tell you. I didn’t want you to worry about me.”_ Camila replied.

Maria cried upon hearing the revelation. After all these years Jan has been nothing less than understanding and selfless. Loving her in a depth she couldn’t fathom.

  
  
  


___________

Maria and Jan stayed by Camila’s side until the end.

In her final moments, she pleaded to Maria to sing to her the song. The one that was playing the night they first met, “Till I Waltz Again With You.”

Maria cupped her fragile hands in hers, singing softly to the sick woman.

_Till I waltz again with you_ _  
_ _Let no other hold your charms_ _  
_ _If my dreams should all come true_ _  
_ _You'll be waiting for my arms_

_Till I kiss you once again_ _  
_ _Keep my love locked in your heart_ _  
_ _Darling, I'll return and then_ _  
_ _We will never have to part_

Maria stopped singing, sobbing as each word pierced her heart. If they were only born 50 or 60 years later than 1938, then maybe, just maybe they had a chance. Sadly they were born at a time when love is measured by human’s partial judgment where gender was the main criterion.

_Though it may break your heart and mine_ _  
_ _The minute when it's time to go_ _  
_ _Remember dear, each word divine_ _  
_ _That meant I love you so_

_Till I waltz again with you_ _  
_ _Just the way we are tonight_ _  
_ _I will keep my promise true_ _  
_ _For you are my guiding light_

Camila closed her eyes with a smile on her lips, seeing the 15 year old Maria again - the shy smiles and stolen glances. 

_Till I waltz again with you_ _  
_ _Keep my love locked in your heart_ _  
_ _Darling, I'll return and then_ _  
_ _We will never have to part_

Camila drew her last breath, her facial muscle loosening. Her face is calm and at peace again with a ghost of a smile on her lips.

  
  
  


___________

When Jeongyeon started dating Mina, she was still worried about what will happen in the future. And yet Jan’s devotion towards his wife amazed her. One morning while Maria was teaching Mina embroidery, she was helping Jan in the backyard - picking ripe berries to be made into _confituur_ (jam).

She took the moment to ask him the same question she asked Maria days ago.

_“Why did you stay despite knowing Maria’s past?”_

Jan stopped from what he was doing and smiled at Jeongyeon, _“When you fall in love with a person you don’t only love the beautiful parts, but also accept the ugly parts of her.”_ Jan pats Jeongyeon’s shoulder, _“When you love a rose, you get to accept that it has thorns too. You can get hurt from it. But you can't go around removing every thorn you see because you can get hurt. Because that is the nature of the rose. That’s how I love her. I love her in the highs and lows. I love her in her imperfections. And she loves me in the way she knows. My wife accepted me just the same. I’m far from perfect and yet she chose to stay with me.”_

Jeongyeon though could not grasp why he helped Camila and brought Maria back to the Philippines so the two women could meet again.

 _“They both needed closure, something they did not have before. And both suffer a great deal because of it. Maria loved Camila then, but that was before me. I can’t change the past. I can only accept it the way it was. I wasn’t her first love but I am her last.”_ Jan explained to Jeongyeon, _“And I helped Camila without my wife’s knowledge because Camila begged me not to. I didn’t tell her not because I was scared she'd go back to her. She’ll always choose me, the way that I will always choose her. That’s the love we build in decades, Jeongyeon.”_

Jeongyeon listened carefully.

 _“We choose to love each other every single day. That’s the secret behind the trust we have for each other,”_ Jan continues.

  
  
  


___________

It is a lazy rainy afternoon in Innsbruck. The pregnant nimbus clouds give birth to a shower over the little village. Mina's bedroom window is slightly open to allow the cool wind inside. The sound of the pouring rain and the occasional thunder is bliss to her ears.

Mina and Jeongyeon are laying face to face in bed. Not touching or talking, just looking at each other and perhaps thinking about the same thing.

The moment, simple it may be, feels perfect. Her heart is contented and at peace, marvelling at the beauty next to her.

Going to a completely foreign part of the world scared her. Mina was terrified of change, to take the risk that things might not work out. Especially when she’s inexperienced with a lot of things. The first step into the unknown is always the hardest part. But there is something about this place that makes her feel that she has found her home. Or could it be that it’s not the place itself but the person laying next to her, staring straight into her chocolate eyes.

Together they are discovering and rediscovering things about life and about themselves. Coping with depression with Jeongyeon by her side makes her realise that loneliness or depression does not depend whether or not you are surrounded by people. It’s an emotion. It does not reliant on a location nor satisfaction in a relationship.

Mina discerns that there is no easy remedy for sadness. The key to healing is self love. And no, it does not make one a narcissist to love and choose oneself. Healing and living in peace with your soul needs to be nurtured daily. It’s part of the life's journey in which we continue to discover what it is that makes us happy but also accepting things you have no control of. Frustration boils from trying to take control of things. We need to open our hands, set things free.

In the span of time that they were together, their interior lives were enriched - allowing them to slowly and silently grow.

 _“Babe, why do you only have orchestra music in your playlist?”_ Jeongyeon asks the girl laying across her.

 _“They are the most sincere songs. I often find the lyrics pretentious. You might be thinking why since I’m a singer myself. But orchestra has a way of making you feel emotions - pain, happiness, excitement - without a word spoken.”_ Mina responds. _“But I have one song saved in my phone. And I find it very genuine. Heartfelt.”_

Mina opens her phone, _“It’s called_ ** _IDK You Yet_ **_by_ ** _IMissYou_ **_.”_ (the real singer of this song is Alexander 23)

Jeongyeon’s heart starts to beat faster. Is it possible that -

 _“I found it accidentally on YouTube a year ago. It might sound weird but it felt like the singer was talking to me. Do you also get that feeling, that connection with a song sometimes?”_ Mina asks her.

Jeongyeon suddenly felt cold, face losing color and Mina noticed, _“Babe, are you okay?”_

The taller girl’s eyes begin to well up. She excused herself for a drink, calming her heart. Jeongyeon returns to the bedroom with a guitar in hand.

She sit besides Mina and starts playing the opening chords,

 _“Oh, you know this song too? It’s beautiful right?”_ Mina comments. Honestly, she hasn’t heard Jeongyeon sing yet. She only heard her play on her acoustic guitar.

Jeongyeon starts singing the song,

_How can you miss someone you've never met?  
_ _'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet_

Mina’s eyes grew wide as reality sinks in. She started sobbing.

_But can you find me soon because I'm in my head?  
_ _Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet  
_ _'Cause lately it's been hard  
_ _They're selling me for parts  
_ _And I don't wanna be modern art  
_ _But I only got half a heart  
_ _To give to you_

She turns to Jeongyeon and hugs her from behind, her face resting on the latter’s back. Tears flowing down her cheeks.

_How can you miss someone you've never seen?  
_ _Oh tell me, are your eyes brown, blue, or green?  
_ _And do you like it with sugar and cream?  
_ _Or do you take it straight, oh, just like me?  
_ _Yeah, lately it's been hard  
_ _They're selling me for parts  
_ _And I don't wanna be modern art  
_ _But I only got half a heart  
_ _To give to you_

Jeongyeon wrote this song one year ago on the day their divorce was finalised. She felt so lost, and longing for someone who isn’t there. She uploaded the video on YouTube with the sunset background. Hoping maybe, just maybe, it makes its way to her. And it did, somehow it did.

Back then, she loved drinking black coffee but stopped when she started having problem sleeping. That's why she asked if that person also likes takes her coffee straight. Mina does.

 _“Baby, you remembered it wrong. The singer’s name is not IMissYou,”_ Jeongyeon says. She takes a pen and writes on a paper, _“It is written like this - I, Miss Yoo."_

  
  


______________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Mine - Petra Sihombing  
> Till I Waltz Again With You - Teresa Brewer  
> IDK You Yet - Alexander 23
> 
> #IMISSYOOJEONGYEON  
> hehe jeongmi


	7. PANSEXUAL [M]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mina finally gets to meet Sana and Momo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not for minors. I repeat NOT FOR MINORS.

_“Mina charred the pot again,”_ Jeongyeon complains to her bestfriends Momo and Sana as she scrubs the char off of the pan. She and Mina are having a video call with her bestfriends. One thing they nowadays often do.

Mina pouts upon hearing Jeongyeon’s sentiment, ashamed about her another failure in the kitchen. She’s really trying to learn to cook and impress her girlfriend. But frying fish was a bad idea. All was going well until she placed the fish in the pan and the oil kept splattering, attacking her in all directions. The scared Mina took shield under the table and left the fish to burn - including the now charred pan.

“The fish is so burnt even the dog refuses to eat it. I could hear our asian ancestors wailing from their graves!” Jeongyeon continues to tease. Forgetting how her teasing resulted last time.

Moma and Sana laugh as Mina covers her face with her hands, but with her fingers spread apart. 

“それでいいです。 _Sorede īdesu, Minari_ (It’s okay, Minari). _Jeongyeon loves scrubbing pans anyway.”_ the two girls reassure her.

Jeongyeon nods, _“That’s true, babe.”_ She caresses her pan as she continues, _“I love my pans so much that you can call me -”_

 _“What?”_ Momo and Sana ask.

 _“You can call me PANsexual,”_ Jeongyeon replies suggestively.

Mina breaks into fits of laughter while the two other Japanese women just look at each other. Jeongyeon is at it again, her dad humor that they often don’t get. But then there’s Mina, crouching her belly as she laughs heartily.

 _“Mina is too kind,”_ Momo tells the other girl and Sana agrees. _“Yes, she’s too kind.”_

 _“Yah! We have the same humor!”_ Jeongyeon defends herself from the remarks of her friends, seeking the concurrence from her girlfriend. Mina nods in agreement while wiping the ears off her face..

Momo and Sana shake their heads in disbelief at the two.

 _“Indeed, birds of the same feathers are the same birds,”_ Sana comments and she earns a slap on her arm from Momo.

 _“Baka! It’s ‘Birds of the same feathers flock together!’”_ she corrects the other Japanese who now creases her forehead.

 _“Whatever, it’s the same!”_ Sana dismisses Momo.

Momo snorts at the other wondering how she got herself a “baka” bestfriend. Among the three of them, it’s Sana who happens to be the only one who's not “intellectually endowed”. As how Momo puts it. But she’s good for business. She attracts a lot of people with her charms, just don’t let handle the administration and accounting responsibilities.

Then Momo remembers the reason why she called that day.

 _“Jeongyeon-ah, I’m inviting you to mom’s birthday. She specifically mentioned you as she hasn’t seen you in a while. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m really her daughter or you,”_ Momo says, faking her jealousy.

 _“Tell aunty we’ll be there. I also like her and mom to meet mijn schatje (my baby).”_ Jeongyeon replies, giving Mina a wink.

 _“Yiiiieeeee! Finally we’ll get to meet the Myoui Mina in person!”_ the two squeal.

So, they’re finally going to Jeongyeon’s country. Thinking about it makes her anxious. But knowing that Jeongyeon is there with her gives her assurance.

Momo gives them the date and even pays for their flight. She can be very galant, just don’t touch her food. Take everything else but not her food or she’ll turn to Jabame Yumeko - her eyes grow wide as if she’s possessed. And Jeongyeon swears that time she ate her jokbal that she saw Momo’s eyes turn red. She never dared touch her food since then.

 _“I can’t wait for you to meet mom. She’ll absolutely love you. And my oma, too.”_ Jeongyeon smiles sweetly at the younger girl. (oma- grandmother)

Mina’s eyes form into crescent moons as she smiles, _“I’m also excited to meet them.”_

There are three things that drives Jeongyeon mad:

  1. _Myoui Mina’s gummy smile_
  2. _Myoui Mina’s eye smile_
  3. _Myoui Mina_



  
  
  


__________

While Jeongyeon is with Maria, helping her cook their lunch, Mina and Jan go for a short foraging trip by the hillside. Mina, lacking affection from her own parents, finds comfort in the old couple’s hospitality. They treat both girls as their own grandchildren. Something Mina and Jeongyeon are so thankful for.

As they forage, Jan teaches her the difference between the blueberries grown in farms from the wild ones. Wild blueberry shrubs are shorter and the fruits are smaller than cultivated ones. But they are sweeter and the pulp is softer, too. It has its own distinguished taste. The soil, water and weather are components affecting its taste. That’s why wild ones in Innsbruck are different.

They also gather raspberries, mulberries, cornelian, chokeberries (medicinal purposes), titan, rowanberries and wild strawberries which Mina thinks tastes like bubblegum.

After some time, the two stop by a spring to drink. Mina sits on a wooden bench, observing the old man. Admiring how understanding he is of Maria, for staying despite Maria’s bitter past and knowing that aside from him there was someone else. Someone Maria deeply loved, and maybe will always love.

Jan sits next to her, takes off his hat to fan himself.

 _“Jan, can I ask you something?”_ Mina says.

 _“I believe you have the same question as Jeongyeon,”_ he replies with a smile. _“You also want to know why I stayed?”_

Mina hums, _“Yes,_ _and I want to know your life was before you met Maria.”_

Jan looks at the Japanese and says, _“You and I have something in common.”_ He looks over the distant mountains, reliving a past so bitter to swallow.

 _“We both came from races who have committed grave crimes against humanity, Japanese and Germans alike.”_ Jan continues. (Jan here is talking about the Axis Power or "Rome–Berlin–Tokyo Axis")

  
  
  


__________

Johan “Jan” Schulze was born of German descent, something he is never proud of. When he ran away after the war, he changed his identity from being a German to an Austrian. Hoping to bury a part of him he never asked for.

He was born in 1928 in Berlin, Germany. When the Second World War broke out on September 1, 1939, Jan was only 11 years old. His father was a Rittmeister (Captain) and a diehard Hitler fanatic. He grew up under the teachings of Aryan race’s superiority. Reading the Mein Kampf to them over and over again is like what a Bible is to christians. (Mein Kampf is an autobiographical manifesto by Nazi Party leader Adolf Hitler).

Jan was never his father’s favorite. He was frail and thin when he was younger. His father was disgusted by his weakness and told him he better die if he could not serve his country. Jan has seen horrible things an innocent child wasn’t supposed to see. Jewish people beheaded in front of him to strengthen his stomach, his father said. Women and children killed without mercy. He has been to concentration camps numerous times. He has witnessed the unimaginable inhuman deeds done by the Nazis towards the Jews. There were times that he would vomit at the sight and his father would beat him up.

In 1944, General Heinz Guderian, chief of the General Staff, proposed the formation of a national militia in eastern Germany called _Landsturm_. The Nazi army are losing foothold in the east against the Soviet onslaught. A desperate attempt to turn the course of war.

Men were ordered to render service to the fatherland - over-aged, under-aged, sick, wounded and recovering soldiers, men whose jobs were considered non-essentials. Jan was 16 years old when he became part of the _Volkssturm,_ that’s when he became a Wehrmacht (Nazi soldier).

He stopped counting how many lives he has taken. But the horror on those people's faces haunts him until this very day. His father died serving the Führer, believing he died as a war hero. The thought makes him sick.

By the end of the war in September 1945, Jan took the chance to run away and escape. Wearing an allied army uniform, he sought refuge in a Presbyterian church in Belgium.

In 1956, he met new people in the congregation. A missionary family returning from the Philippines. He was right away enamoured by the only child named Maria Lauren Willems.

Maria and Jan found friendship in each other. Due to her father’s constant egging, the two tied the knot not long after. Their marriage was built on friendship, not love. They listen to each other’s stories, and horrors of their past. Maria, despite knowing Jan’s darkest secrets, remained by his side. She became his comfort when the trauma and guilt of his deeds visited him in his sleep at night.

 _Love did not come like a storm to them.  
It came slowly through time.  
It settled softly in their hearts, like a whisper at dawn -  
silent and yet it echoes within the chambers of their souls_ _._

  
  
  


__________

Mina rests her back against her bed’s headboard as they watch a movie. Jeongyeon is laying on her belly, face glued to the screen. She thinks about what Jan said earlier. How he and Maria chose to stay together, letting love grow day by day. They nurtured it. They cultivated it. Love takes time.

These past days, Mina contemplates leaving everything behind for good and staying with Jeongyeon, here in this place. And if Jeongyeon will ask her now, she’ll drop everything for her. If there’s one person who sees through her facade, it’s Jeongyeon.

Life brought them together. Call it fate or serendipity or destiny. It’s like they have an invisible red thread attached to each other, and in time pull them towards each other’s arms.

She lovingly gazes at the Korean who is now pouting. The Japanese purses her lips, suppressing a laugh from escaping as her girlfriend whines about how the movie ended. She has seen the movie twice before, and this time around her attention is not on the film but on the lady beside her - how she giggles, gets excited, frustrated at the events in the film and disappointed when the movie ended.

 _“How could they end the movie just like that? He couldn’t go back in time and he died? Arrrgghhh! I hate how it ended!”_ The thwarted Jeongyeon complains.

They watched the movie “Somewhere in Time” wherein a playwright named Richard Collier became frustrated during a phase of writer’s block. Most likely a result of his recent breakup. Unable to write anything, he left without a destination and ended up being intrigued by a striking hotel he has never been into - Grand Hotel in Mackinac Island, Michigan.

After checking-in, Richard toured the hotel and was drawn to a portrait of a beautiful woman on display named Elise Mckenna. He was obsessed with finding out about the woman after learning she was an actress who performed in the same hotel 60 years ago. Long story short, he asked his former professor’s help about time traveling. He was able to transport himself after failing numerous times.

Richard did not use any time travel machine or gadgets. He got himself clothes from 1912, placed old coins in his pockets of the same year, and hid anything that is related to the present. He met the actress and the two fell in love. But Richard got sucked back into the present time after finding a coin that is later than 1912 hidden in his pocket.

He tried again and again but he couldn’t go back anymore. He starved himself, did not drink or sleep either. He died still trying to return to Elise.

 _“If you can change the movie, how will you end it?”_ Mina asks her emotional girl.

 _“Of course Richard gets to come back to Elise,_ ” she replies.

 _“But, babe, this time Elise had the watch when Richard was transported back to the present. And as you know Elise already died, too.”_ Mina tells her.

The pouting Jeongyeon refuses to accept the movie's end, _“Even so, there’s got to be a way. There’s got to be another way!”_ Still deeply moved by old Elise’s message when she gave the watch to the young Richard Collier, _“Come back to me.”_

Jeongyeon snuggles close to Mina, resting her head on the latter’s shoulder as they listen to the ending theme. _“That’s just so sad. I don’t want us to end like that.”_ she murmurs, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl. Her voice is uncertain as a thought comes into light. She did not entertain it before, living each day forgetting who they are and where they are from.

_What if Mina leaves her and never comes back.  
Can she take another blow of heartache?  
Can she survive another heartbreak?_

Mina smiles, tapping the other girl’s shoulder as she rocks them softly together, _“We live in the same era and dimension. There’s no way that’s gonna happen to us, babe.”_ Placing a soft kiss on Jeongyeon’s hair. Jeongyeon has always been the one who is firm and sure between the two of them. But seeing Jeongyeon now squeezes her heart. This is not the usual confident Jeongyeon, but a wounded kid seeking comfort.

Jeongyeon tightens her grip around the Japanese woman, scared of letting her go. Her lips tremble from keeping her tears from falling. Her chin quivers as her breathing becomes uneven. Mina notices Jeongyeon’s shaking shoulders. She tries to make the taller girl to face her but Jeongyeon looks away, hiding her tears.

 _“Oh, baby. I’m sorry I made you watch that movie,”_ she consoles the Korean.

Jeongyeon wants to talk but her throat is tightening. She shakes her head and embraces her instead. How can she tell her it’s not the movie that made her cry, but the thought of Mina walking away from her life. Mina hugs her back, somehow feeling there’s more behind the tears.

Mina lays down, pulling Jeongyeon along so that they lay face to face on her pillow.

Seeing the disturbed look on Jeongyeon’s face, Mina reaches out and gently caresses the older girl’s face. The Korean closes her eyes, feeling Mina’s warm skin grazing her cheek. Jeongyeon and she can even be considered lucky to be living at the same time, unlike Richard and Elise. Or unlike Maria and Camila who never had a place in this cruel world where they were accepted.

Jeongyeon holds Mina’s hand and softly kisses it. Jeongyeon’s smile is as sweet as honey and Mina thinks her lips are even sweeter. The Japanese woman leans in and gives Jeongyeon a kiss on the lips - gentle, filled with care and love. A kiss of reassurance that calms Jeongyeon’s heart in a turmoil.

 _“Stay with me tonight,”_ Mina softly says after their kiss. Jeongyeon nods and captures her lips again in hers.

Mina and Jeongyeon haven’t done it yet. They never went farther than kissing as both wanted to take it slow, aware that Mina has never done it before (with the same sex). Jeongyeon is patient, she can wait. In fact, she also gets nervous about it since she hasn’t had sexual intercourse in more than a year. Thinking about doing it with Mina gives her cold feet.

She nestles her face on the croak of Mina’s neck and closes her eyes. Mina’s sweet scent pacifies her, and her warmth soothes her weary mind. She wraps her arm around Mina’s hips and pulls her closer. Mina drapes the covers above them and nuzzles her nose on the other girl’s hair. And they drift into sleep in that position. Cloaked in each other’s warmth, they lay their worries to rest. Together here in the darkness without a care in the world outside.

  
  
  


__________

There are various ways that help Mina doze off. She’ll listen to her playlist of orchestra music, take sleeping pills, be relaxed by her scented candles, or listen to rain ASMR. Oddly, the sound of the pouring rain and occasional thunderbolt eases her mind. She even loves to sit by the window and watch the rain fall and the lightning. She’ll be fascinated by the droplets trickling down her glass window.

However, none of which are helping Mina sleep right now. She can hear the thunder from the distance, and the spitter-spatter of the rain against the windowpane. But Mina is wide awake - eyes fixed on the burning candles. She chose the lavender scented candles to help her relax and sleep. But right now she can’t get herself to. These candles should be the reason for her sleep, not keep her awake.

How can she sleep when the golden soft glow of the candles dances on the Korean’s face and Mina finds it very sensual? How the silhouette outlines her gorgeous figure - the smooth curves, flawless skin, the concave of her ear, down to her neck. She looks like a piece of art, beautiful and priceless.

Mina listens to the taller girl’s calm breathing. The heat of Jeongyeon’s back against her chest, belly and thighs sends her heart racing. Her left leg trapped between Jeongyeon’s legs offers no help at all. She realizes that Jeongyeon loves spooning, and spooning is very dangerous for Mina’s heart.

Mina succumbs to temptation and lets her trembling fingers brush over Jeongyeon’s shoulder - her exposed shoulder that’s being kissed by the glow. The scent of the candle was supposed to calm her, not turn her even more on than she already is.

Jeongyeon catches her hand and Mina jerks in surprise. She did not mean to wake her up. Jeongyeon turns around and faces her. _“All you have to do is ask, my love,”_ Jeongyeon says with gentleness.

 _“I - I don’t think I’m ready,”_ the twang of hesitation is apparent in her voice.

Jeongyeon smiles at her and holds her close, kissing her temple, _“It’s okay. It can wait.”_

  
  
  


__________

Jeongyeon and Mina exit the airport, constantly turning their heads in search of the familiar faces. Mina looks around and observes her surroundings, “So this is Belgium.” She thinks to herself.

Jeongyeon spots Momo and Sana and waves at them. The two Japanese women head towards them. Momo and Sana did not even bother to greet Jeongyeon as they directly talked to Mina in Japanese. Jeongyeon rolls her eyes, _“Hello? I’m here too. I’m your bestfriend, remember?”_ she jokes.

 _“You’ll be fine, we’re more interested in Mina,”_ Momo replies and Mina just laughs.

Jeongyeon looks at the three girls and a thought crosses her mind. She chuckles at the silly idea, and the three Japanese ladies look at her in confusion.

 _“I’m sorry. But you look like the bears in We Bare Bears,”_ and Jeongyeon laughs harder after she takes a picture of them.

Blond Mina is wearing a white laced-up button front summer dress. Sana is wearing a brown fit-and-flare dress. While Momo wears a casual black and white striped dress.

The Japanese girls glare at her and Jeongyeon fakes being scared. She’s happy Mina instantly clicks with her bestfriends, unlike how it was with Nayeon. They did not like her, especially Momo who was the most vocal about her disapproval of Nayeon.

 _“You’re not a dog, Jeongyeon. You shouldn’t beg for attention,”_ Momo said.

  
  
  


__________

Momo suggests they go to her flat so they can change into their party clothes and prepare. The party will be held in a hotel in Brussel. Momo also called Jeongyeon to the side and told her something. Jeongyeon nods and thanks Momo. While Sana takes Mina to her place. Jeongyeon contradicts but Mina tells her it’s okay. They’ll just see each other at the party.

 _“She’s a snake, baby. Be careful,”_ Jeongyeon says and Sana winks suggestively at her. Mina chuckles, and kisses her lips before leaving with the “snake”.

When they arrive in Momo’s flat, she rings her mom to inform her they have arrived and makes arrangements for their visit. She then calls her grandmother to let her know she’s in the country. The old woman is delighted to know she’s with a special someone. Very eager to meet the girl. (In their culture, you need to make an appointment before visiting. Visiting without prior notice is disrespectful. You just can’t show up at someone’s house for a quick visit.)

Momo and Jeongyeon changed into their gowns. Her bestfriend already chose her gown for her, a sexy purple gown with ruffles, exposing her bare shoulders, accentuating her neck and sharp jawline. Her Japanese friend also helped her put on her makeup. After their preparation, Momo looks satisfied with her work and encourages Jeongyeon to look at herself in the mirror. Jeongyeon does so and she likes what she’s seeing. Momo is really good at it. She wonders how Mina will look.

When Jeongyeon and Momo get to the venue, many have already arrived before them. They make their way towards Momo’s mom and greet her for her birthday. Jeongyeon and Momo also got acquainted with other guests. Her eyes will now and then scan the crowd, looking for Sana and Mina. 

The party started with no trace of the two. Jeongyeon starts to get worried. They’re late. If it’s just Sana she won’t even bother. She’s always late. You’ll be worried if she arrives early. She waits impatiently as the celebrant gives a speech.

She fishes for her phone from her purse to call Sana when Momo taps her shoulder and motions her to look towards the entrance. And there she is, her beautiful penguin, no swan, gracing the crowd with her presence.

Mina is clad in a red silk gown, revealing those collarbones that are to die for. And if a gaze could melt, Mina has melted right then and there with the amount of attention she’s getting. She looks regal, and she carries herself like a royalty, her gown trailing behind her as she makes her way towards Jeongyeon.

Beautiful. Such a trite, overused word. And Mina wishes she could come up with something that will better describe the fluttering of 100,000 butterfly wings in her stomach the moment she laid her eyes on Jeongyeon.

Mina smiles sweetly at her, _“You look gorgeous, babe.”_ She hears her say as her cheeks turn pink. Mina blushed upon seeing her! She wants to remind herself to thank Momo later.

 _“So do you, my love,”_ she says. _“You stole the show from the celebrant.”_ she whispers in her ear. Mina giggles, they purposefully came late to not attract attention. 

Jeongyeon leads them to their table and they are joined by Sana and Momo who are as dashing as the other two. Their table became the center of attraction, having four young gorgeous ladies. And not long after, men come asking for a dance with the ladies. Sana and Momo accepted but Jeongyeon and Mina declined. 

But when that one particular song is played by the DJ, Jeongyeon asks her girl for a dance. And Mina sweetly accepted.

LADY IN RED by Chris De Burgh

_I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight,  
_ _I've never seen you shine so bright,  
_ _I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance,  
_ _They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance,  
_ _And I have never seen that dress you're wearing,  
_ _Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes,  
_ _I have been blind;_

_The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek,  
_ _There's nobody here, it's just you and me,  
_ _It's where I want to be,  
_ _But I hardly know this beauty by my side,  
_ _I'll never forget the way you look tonight;_

_I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight,  
_ _I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing,  
_ _I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side,  
_ _And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away,  
_ _And I have never had such a feeling,  
_ _Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight;_

  
After their dance, the two ladies head to the bar. 

Mina orders one blue martini with cherry on top. And Jeongyeon asks for gin and tonic.

 _“Well,”_ Mina picks up the cherry from her glass by the stem and takes a bite of the fruit, holding the stem between her white, even teeth. _“Are we gonna stay in this boring party or are we gonna head to your place?”_

 _“Momo got us a room upstairs, worried we're too tired to travel,”_ she smiles, though she doesn’t feel like smiling. Her body is burning, watching her slowly make love to that cherry.

The Japanese put down the stem, _“That’s even better.”_

Neither speak a word as they make their way upstairs to the room Momo has reserved for them. It is an uncomfortable silence, that kind of silence that comes from two people who both are nervous about what’s going to happen next.

The anticipation feeding the fantasy.

As the elevator makes its way up, Jeongyeon slips her hand from the small of Mina’s back up to her shoulders, then down to her arm, caressing her skin until she intertwines their fingers together. _“The things I wanna do to you,”_ she murmurs.

The gaze Mina casts on her is sizzling. _“What do you want to do to me, babe?”_

She takes a step, then another, until she corners Mina against the wall. She leans closer to her ear and whispers, _“Strip you. Lick you. Fuck you.”_

Mina’s legs parts, giving the taller girl room to press her leg against the wet and warm space between her legs.

 _“That sounds good,”_ she breathes.

The elevator dings, and Jeongyeon is never so grateful when the doors open to reveal an empty hallway. Their strides are brisk and before they know it, they’re standing in front of their suite’s door. Jeongyeon is nervous. Yes, she had been married once but it’s been a long time since she had sex. She inserts the keycard wrong and Mina chuckles when she hears the tall woman curse under her breath.

They make their way inside. The impatient Mina cannot wait and presses Jeongyeon against the door. With utter gentleness, she runs her fingers over Jeongyeon’s lips and looks into her eyes, _“Why don’t you show me what I’ve been missing all this time?”_

 _“But I want you to tell me what you like,”_ Jeongyeon replies. 

Mina’s lips quiver but she does not contradict her. Her breasts pillows over the neckline of her dress. Jeongyeon lowers her head and kisses the flesh, _“Please tell me if this is okay.”_

Mina’s orbs darken at the rush of lust filling her system, _“Yes.”_

Jeongyeon reaches around her and unzips her dress. Pulling it down so she can properly trace her spine down to the dimples at her back. She pauses before lowering the dress, “ _Can I strip you naked?”_

 _“Yes,”_ Mina whispers.

Jeongyeon lets her dress fall on the floor. She takes a second to admire her mounds, freed from the confines of her clothes. She lifts the shorter girl up and Mina instinctively wraps her legs around Jeongyeon’s waist. The Korean leads them to the bed and gently lays Mina down. 

Jeongyeon lays them down and crawls on top of Mina before engulfing her lips in another searing kiss. She trails kisses down her neck and collarbones. Admiring the shape of the cavity that is between a girl's collarbone and the top of her shoulder. So seductive, and to Jeongyeon it’s a major turn on. Her hands running up and down her hip and rib, finding its way to the younger girl’s breasts. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Jeongyeon asks.

_“No.”_

She kneads both, and runs her mouth all around the tip and down the valley between her breasts. 

_“What do you want me to do?”_

_“Suck me.”_

She releases a breast only to be covered by her deliciously warm wet mouth.

 _“Hmmm,”_ Mina moans in pleasure as Jeongyeon sucks on her bosom like a hungry baby. Mina’s back arched, taken over by a flood of sensations. She gives her other bosom the same attention as her hand knead the other. Her tongue swirling around the sweet bud, her hand subtly pinching her other bud. Mina moans louder in the delicious sensation. Mina’s knees weaken with her body feeling sensitive all over. Mina could never have imagined Jeongyeon’s touch is electrifying. Making Mina insane as Jeongyeon inserts her leg between Mina’s legs and pushes it up against her core, applying pressure; rubbing and pressing. The Japanese do not know where to focus with all the tingling sensations happening all at the same time. Jeongyeon sure does capitalize with her ambidexterity, Mina's head is up in the clouds.

Jeongyeon drinks in the sound of her sighs and moans like they are ambrosia.

Jeongyeon’s fingers travel down her body, caressing her sensitive skin before finding its way between Mina’s legs, gently stroking her. Mina’s body is on fire but she’s dripping wet down under.

 _“Hmmm, baby. Don’t stop,”_ Mina begs and Jeongyeon smiles as she slips her hand inside Mina’s undies, rubbing and teasing deliciously wet core, _“Fuck, babe! It’s so good!”_

Mina has pleasured herself before but is surprised how it feels even better when another does it for her. Mina lets out a sexy moan and buries her face in the croak of Jeongyeon’s neck. _“Damn, I didn’t know it could feel this good. Ahhh, Jeongyeon.”_

Jeongyeon grins and says in a very sultry voice,

_“How about I let you experience something your sexy finger sure can’t do?”_

The taller woman makes her way down the Japanese’ body, licking every piece of flesh in her path. Nipping her cute navel, the lower still, over the hip bones. She hooks her fingers into Mina’s lingerie and slides it off, trailing kisses on her thighs and legs as she does. Exposing the rest of her nudity. Jeongyeon gulps at the sight in front of her - divine. She settles between Mina’s legs, kissing and licking her inner thighs.

 _“Fuck, Jeong! Stop teasing!”_ Mina complains and Jeongyeon chuckles, Mina can really be dominating in bed. She keeps cussing, that’s totally not her when she’s not aroused. She wonders if next time, when she’s experienced, will Mina talk dirty?

She ghosted her lips over the crease of her groin. Mina stifles a sob as her body shakes in anticipation. She settles in to feast, fucking her deep and hard with her tongue to her hard clit, holding her still when she jerks up.

 _“Oooh. . . Aaahh. Shit! Keep doing what you’re doing with your tongue. Hmmm, babe,”_ Mina’s sinful moans fill the room. Her face reddened and her mouth hung open as Jeongyeon hungrily eats and sucks her up. Mina becomes a writhing mess, not knowing where to hold on to, grasping the sheets. Jeongyeon watches Mina’s chest go up and down as she raggedly breathes, moaning her name over and over again.

She feels Mina’s walls tighten around her tongue. _“Fuck, Yoo!”_ Mina cusses. Her thighs tremble surrounding Jeongyeon’s head. Jeongyeon uses her thumb to stimulate her clit ever after she starts coming, giving her multiple orgasms. Mina’s legs quiver, her body shakes with aftershocks after Jeongyeon gives her core one last long lick.

Jeongyeon crawls back on top of her with a smirk on her face, “ _Shouldn’t you say ‘Fuck Mi’ instead?”_ Jeongyeon chuckles.

 _“Whatever, Yoo. Yoo should’ve fucked Mi in Fucking.”_ Mina playfully replies, her eyes still shut. The unusual place's name has become their inside joke.

Jeongyeon laughs out loud, _“That would be so hilarious to be fucking in Fucking, but hot.”_ She hugs the lady who is still regaining her composure. She plants a kiss on her forehead, eyes, nose, checks, chin and then lips. _“Ik heb je lief, Myoui Mina."_

The words may be alien to Mina’s ears, but she surely understands the emotion behind it. She opens her eyes, meeting Jeongyeon’s gaze that’s filled with adoration and affection.

 _“私もあなたを愛しています (Watashi mo anata o aishiteimasu), Yoo Jeongyeon,_ ” Mina responds, reflecting what’s expressed in the taller girl’s orbs.

  
  
  


__________


	8. CHANGING SEASONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was there. She remained a constant through the changing seasons of Jeongyeon’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will talk about our #OursuperheroMOMO  
> I was blown away with that collab today!  
> Hirai Momo 🍑  
> #スーパーモモりん #MOMO_yukaDD
> 
> Questions? Suggestions? You can reach me through -  
> CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.qa/HeyMinari324  
> Twitter: @Hey_Minari

Mina stands nervously on the porch, fidgeting as she clasps the bouquet of red roses in her hands. The scent of the roses brings back memories of last night. The memory is so vibrant that her cheeks burn as the flowers remind her of a bed littered with petals of red roses, of wine and cheese between kisses, how her fingers traverse Jeongyeon’s unforgiving nakedness. She shakes her head, trying to shake the thought off her mind. But as bad as she wants to forget it, the more she remembers.

Why did they even choose red roses? They could have picked up another bouquet. White roses? Yellow roses? Chrysanthemum?

She picked up a bouquet of chrysanthemum just to be stopped midway, _“Don’t ever give someone in my country this kind of flower, it’s for the dead.”_ Jeongyeon explained. Mina thinks how on earth it’s for the dead when it symbolises longevity, love and joy? Surely the dead won’t appreciate it like, _“Seriously? I’m dead, why the fuck would you wish me longevity?”_ Makes sense, right?

Jeongyeon instead picked up a bouquet of red roses because, _“These are mom’s favourite.”_

And that’s how she ends up holding a bouquet of red roses in her hands, being tormented by each passing second.

Mina rocks in her heels back and forth as Jeongyeon rings the bell and tells her mother it’s her and Mina on the speaker. She tugs on the seam of Jeongyeon’s shirt as the door opens, and Jeongyeon’s mom smiles at them beckoning them in.

 _“Then you are the lovely Mina my Yeoneke can’t stop talking about!”_ Claire Peeters greets the Japanese. 

_“Pleased to meet you, Miss Claire,”_ Mina politely greets the mother of her girlfriend.

The taller girl’s mother chuckles at how Mina addressed her, _“Don’t call me that. Call me Claire or Mom better yet,”_ she says. _“Come, give mom a hug!”_ and engulfs the Japanese in a warm welcoming embrace. She observes how Jeongyeon’s mom is so amiable towards her, Jeongyeon got it from her. The hospitality and kindness.

Mina hands her the bouquet and Claire thanks her. _“Is my Yeoneke being good to you?”_ The mother asks. (They add “ke” or “tje” to your name as an endearment. So if your name is Mina, your nickname will be Minatje or Minake. Like adding -san or -chan in Japanese.)

 _“Mom! You know I’m always good,”_ Jeongyeon complains as she pouts at his mother. Claire laughs and gestures to Mina, _“See! See! Such a baby. How are you coping up with such a baby like that?”_

Mina giggles listening to the two. Jeongyeon has her mom’s eye color, hair and stature. Although you can see that she’s a mix, not pure caucasian. Her eyes may be hazel but the shape gives a look of slit-like.

 _“Your daughter takes good care of me, Miss -,”_ Mina is directly cut off by Claire.

_“Nope, I said don’t call me Miss Claire. Call me mom. That should be easier for all of us.”_

_“Okay, mo-mom,”_ Mina stutters, trying to grasp the new dynamics. Minutes ago she was so anxious that she felt like she’s going to pee in her pants. Now she’s calling Jeongyeon’s mother as mom.

Jeongyeon stands up and walks towards the kitchen, _“Mom, we haven’t eaten yet.”_ She calls from the kitchen, opening the fridge.

 _“Oh, honey. You didn’t tell me you will eat here. I didn’t make anything except salad,”_ her mom replied. (Don’t expect to eat at someone’s house if they didn’t specifically say they’ll prepare something for you for lunch or dinner. They’ll think you’ve eaten before you go there.)

Jeongyeon’s groan can be heard from the kitchen, _“How can you survive with just eating leaves?”_ Mina laughs at the banter but stops right away as Claire looks at her.

 _“Finally, someone gets her humor,”_ Claire smiles at Mina. Right, she remembers Momo and Sana mentioned about it, too.

 _“It’s okay, baby. I’ll make waffles.”_ The mother tells the daughter who is now holding a piece of carrot, nibbling on it. “ _Have you tried belgian sugar waffles, Minatje?”_

Mina shakes her head, _“I’d love to try that though.”_

Claire claps her hand and declares, _“Very well then! Mom will teach you how to make Belgian Waffles! Come, my dear. Let’s get started before my daughter dies of hunger,”_ Claire says as she winks at Mina and Jeongyeon just rolls her eyes.

Jeongyeon and Mina prepare the ingredients while Claire takes out her electric waffle maker. Soon the table is occupied with flour, cinnamon, butter, milk and other stuff needed. Mina pays close attention as the mother and daughter carefully measures the ingredients. She assists them by handing out the ingredients they ask. For someone over 50, Jeongyeon’s mom looks like her older sister.

 _“Now, listen carefully as Mom tells you the secret of making the best waffles. It will make all other waffles look amateur,”_ Claire says to the Japanese and Jeongyeon butts in. “And Jeongyeon likes hers with chocolate,” she says, pouting again.

Mina secretly smiles thinking, _“What’s with this family talking about themselves in 3rd person?”_

Claire turns to her daughter and says, _“If you like it, you make it. I’m making waffles with pearl sugar for my daughter-in-law.”_

Mina chokes and coughs as what Claire said takes her by surprise. Jeongyeon takes a glass of water right away and gives it to the Japanese. _“Thanks. I think I inhaled flour,”_ is her lame excuse, like Jeongyeon or Claire are buying it. They just nod their heads, smile and remove the bag of flour in front of her.

Claire clears her throat and continues, _“We’re making these waffles with brioche yeast dough and then stud them with pearl sugar. This is the secret to this crunchy delight.”_ Claire points to the chunks of sugar in a container, _“This is pearl sugar, it holds its shape as the waffles cook, leaving you with gloriously crunchy bites of sugar.”_

Jeongyeon explains further to her girlfriend, _“These don’t melt. They stay crunchy while you cook your waffle.”_

 _“So when you bite in, you get these delicious little nuggets of awesomeness!”_ Claire continues with enthusiasm. The mother and daughter are both passionate about cooking. And then there’s her, who’ll ruin an egg by overcooking it. Right, ideal daughter-in-law.🤦

Jeongyeon leans towards her and whispers in her ear, as if hearing her thoughts, _“If you’re worried about cooking, you know I’ll always eat what you make. Because it’s your effort that counts.”_ Mina smiles. Jeongyeon always does. Except for the fried/burnt fish because it was beyond saving. She always, always appreciates what she makes for her even if she jokes about it. She will always kiss and thank her, and check her hands - because last time she hurt herself.

Finally, the waffles are done. Claire lets them cool down first before topping it with servings of ice cream, whipped cream, berries and drizzled generously with maple syrup. It was delicious! Now, more than ever, Mina is determined to learn how to cook. She wants to make this for Jeongyeon after learning it’s her favorite. It has become her favorite too. Mina loves munching on the crunchy sugar tidbits.

 _“Momo loves this, too,”_ Jeongyeon says.

 _“Then we should pack some for her. We’re seeing her later anyway.”_ Mina says. Momo left her car in the hotel for Jeongyeon and Mina to use. Sana drove her home last night.

Claire agrees, and remembers how the racoon keeps asking her to make the waffles every time she comes to visit. _“Ahh, that kid. Literally grew up here.”_

Mina knows that Momo and Jeongyeon are childhood friends, even before Sana came to their lives. “ _That kid even followed Jeongyeon here in Belgium from South Korea when she was sent here,”_ Claire says. Although Momo is two years older than Jeongyeon, that didn’t keep them from being best of friends.

 _“Really? Wow! She’s such a great friend!”_ Mina exclaims. Somehow relieved that Jeongyeon has a wonderful support system. A loving mother and awesome friends.

Jeongyeon nods in agreement, _“She’s indeed a wonderful friend. I’ve known her since I was 5 and she was 7 then. She looks well after me than my older sisters.”_ Jeongyeon looks away, she does not often talk about it, even with her mom. The truth is that she’s still hurt with what happened between her and her sisters. Claire knows it. She talks to her other daughters, but Jeongyeon never asks about them. Both Seungyeon and Seoyeon are repentant about what transpired in the past, but both don’t know how to reach out to their youngest sister.

The atmosphere has suddenly turned stale and Mina does not know what to do or say. She looks around for distraction and finds herself looking at Jeongyeon’s photos on the wall. Her photos from school and her graduation.

She smiles, there’s not much difference except that her hair now is short. She used to sport her hair long back then. Claire follows Mina’s gaze and starts talking about Jeongyeon’s teenage years in Belgium. She doesn’t have childhood photos. Mina sighs, too bad she really wants to see how her girlfriend looked like when she was growing. Claire only has a photo of her when she was just a tot. 

_“Babe, you look like those babies in a diaper and milk advertisement. You were so cute!”_ Mina exclaims and pinches her cheeks. 

Claire laughs as her daughter pouts at the giggling Mina. _“Yah! I’m still cute!”_

The belgian woman takes out a photobook and opens it, letting the Japanese see more of Jeongyeon’s pictures.

Mina is obviously astonished, her mouth gapes at the photos. _“You did not tell me you are a model!”_ The mother proudly opens each page of Jeongyeon’s modeling portfolio. Jeongyeon just shrugs.

 _“It’s not a big deal. I only do it in the summer when it gets too boring,”_ she says like it's nothing important.

_“Oh my gosh, Jeongyeon! You look amazing, babe.”_

_“Says someone who literally is a royalty in South Korea,”_ Jeongyeon replies and Mina instantly covers her mouth before Claire hears it.

Claire looks at them. Mina covering her daughter’s mouth only adds to the curiosity. _“Why? What are you in South Korea, Minatje?”_

Jeongyeon looks at her mother, wondering if she will tell her the truth. _“She’s a model too.”_ That’s true, although not the entire truth.

Claire’s eyes widened, _“Wow! But I’m not surprised either. You look so elegant, Minatje. Like an actress, if you ask me. You’ve got that actress vibe.”_

 _“Thanks for the compliment, Mi- mom,”_ Mina says and Claire smiles.

 _“You wanna see more? I have other albums,”_ Claire asks the Japanese as she lays another photobook on the coffee table.

Mina grabs the album and opens it. To her surprise it was Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s wedding photos. Jeongyeon is also taken by surprise. She thought her mom already threw them away after their divorce. Mina’s mouth parted as a sudden rush of emotions took over her. Jealousy? Fear that Jeongyeon might not even be truly in love with her? Because these photos scream nothing but love. How Jeongyeon looks at Nayeon, and that smile. That smile that she hasn’t seen from Jeongyeon yet. Here she sees it and it’s not for her, it’s for Nayeon.

Jeongyeon snatches the album from her hands and confronts her mother about it. Claire apologizes saying she wasn’t thinking about it at all. 

Mina suddenly feels cold, beads of cold sweats trickle down her forehead as chills ran down her spine. She stands up and excuses herself for the washroom. She splashed her face with cold water, to wake herself up. Is she dreaming? Is this all just a dream? Her chest constricts as she feels the pain sneaking in. Are they rushing things between them? She knows Jeongyeon in less than three months and it makes her question how she can compare it to what Jeongyeon and Nayeon had. Had, Mina. Had, past tense. It’s over. But why does it still hurt so much?

 _“Babe, are you okay?”_ she hears Jeongyeon’s worried voice outside after knocking a couple of times. Mina looks at herself in the mirror,

 _“You got this. You’re a professional liar. Lying you’re okay shouldn’t be difficult for you,”_ she smiles at herself in the mirror and replies, _“Yes, babe. I’m fine. Be out in a minute.”_

Jealousy is a horrible thing. It makes us detest a person that we don’t even know. And worst, we're the one who gets hurt in the process, while that other person has no idea we're suffering.

  
  
  


__________

After visiting her mom, Jeongyeon takes Mina to her house in Bruges. They’re expecting Momo to come over and get her car she lent to them. Sana and Dahyun will also be there. The older girl opens the door and beckons Mina in. The Japanese goes in and is astonished. The interior reflects its owner very well - very neat and tidy, organized. Jeongyeon tells her that someone comes there to clean even when she’s in Austria. Mina is sure that if she takes a white cloth and wipes the corners, she won’t get that cloth dirty at all. Even the air smell . . . (for the lack of better description) sterile?

Jeongyeon shows her around the house, bedroom after bedroom until they come across one that Jeongyeon is hesitant to open. Mina guesses it must be Chaeyoung’s. The colorful decorations on the bedroom door gives it away. She holds Jeongyeon’s hand and smiles at her, “ _It’s okay if you don’t wanna open it.”_ Jeongyeon pulls her in and engulfs her in a hug, _“Thank you. And sorry about what happened earlier.”_

 _“What about earlier?”_ Mina asks, pretending as if she doesn not know what her lover is talking about.

Jeongyeon kisses her head, _“You can’t lie from me. You know that. I know that stupid album made you feel uneasy.”_ Mina tries to break away from the embrace but Jeongyeon holds her tight, keeping her inside her arms. _“It’s all in the past, baby. You’re my present, and my future. Always remember that.”_

Mina wants to ask her, but she is scared of what her answer will be -

_Do you love her still?_

Instead she asks, _“What if one day I forget?”_

Jeongyeon moreplies in a hushed but clear voice, _“Then I’ll make you remember.”_ She makes the shorter woman face her and stare into her eyes, _“Remember how deeply I love you.”_ She’s reminded of the Poppy and how they decided to merge its symbolisms in both West and East. A flower that symbolizes death and remembrance, and also deep love between lovers.

Mina pulls Jeongyeon close and pressed her lips in hers, kissing her passionately with all the love in her heart. She put her hand in Jeongyeon’s glorious blond hair and let it run through her fingers. It feels the way spun moonlight might feel if it could be fashioned into a silken thread. Her hand slides to the taller girl’s nape, pulling her down while her left ventures inside her shirt - touching her narrow waist. They kiss in increasing fervor until the bell rings. They pull away from each other, both gasping for air.

Jeongyeon kisses her again before pulling away, _“That must be Momo.”_

And it is indeed Momo, who is now impatiently outside the door. Pressing the bell over and over to annoy her friend.

 _“Yah! Stop it!”_ Jeongyeon reprimands Momo the moment she opens the door.

 _“Just want to let you know it’s too early to, you know,”_ Momo says suggestively.

 _“We’re not doing anything, domkop!”_ Jeongyeon retorts defensively, except that her cheeks are still burning from that intense kiss they shared.

Momo narrows her eyes, _“Yeah right. If you say so.”_ And then sniffs in the air, _“Well, I don’t smell sex so you may be telling the truth.”_

 _“Momoring!”_ Jeongyeon exclaims as Mina’s eyes widened at Momo’s statement. _“Mina’s here, at least act like your profession for once.”_

Momo just shrugs her shoulders and sits on the couch, _“Where are my waffles? Mom said you got waffles for me.”_

Mina notes that Momo calls Claire mom too, so it’s common among them then. Somehow she feels deflated, feeling possessive of being able to call Jeongyeon’s mother mom. _“I’ll go get them,”_ Mina says and hurries to the kitchen to retrieve the waffles. Jeongyeon joins her and prepares coffee for Momo and tea for them. Not long after Sana and Dahyun arrive. Sana is holding up a cage with a black cat inside. She later on learned that it’s Jeongyeon’s cat that she left in Sana’s care when she went to Austria. Bomb is a black male scottish fold feline whose gaze looks like he is judging your entire existence.

Jeongyeon takes her cat out and it sits like a king on her lap. Bomb hisses at the Japanese and looks at her as if saying, _“She’s mine. Now back off, you bitch!”_ Mina hisses back at the cat and Momo laughs. _“Seems like you got yourself a competition there, Myoui!”_

Mina clicks her tongue, _“This cat has a bitchy attitude.”_

 _“Oh boy! He loves sleeping next to Jeongyeon, too.”_ Momo teases her.

Mina looks at her girlfriend who’s now talking in pout, _“What? He’s lonely sleeping by himself.”_

 _“It’s either me or that bitch of a cat!”_ Mina says, folding her arms across her chest.

Jeongyeon silently replies, _“Maybe Bomb is fine sleeping in his cot tonight.”_

Sana and Momo look at each other and say in chorus, _“Whipped!”_

The new girl never feels out of place with Jeongyeon’s group of friends. They are just like her, welcoming and warm. Especially the two Japanese women who treated her like their younger sister. She laughs at how Jeongyeon and Momo throw banters at each other and Sana will just roll her eyes. _“They will never grow up,”_ the Shiba Inu said. _“They’re always like this since I can remember.”_

Sana came into Jeongyeon and Momo’s life when she was 16 years old. She was Jeongyeon’s classmate then. After learning she is Japanese, Jeongyeon introduced her to Momo. And that’s how their triad began. She learned from Sana that she dated Jeongyeon before when they were teenagers. But both ended it amicably so. No hard feelings. It’s rare for someone to go back into just being friends after ending a relationship. But they managed. Perhaps because their relationship was never sexual.

Mina is now observing how Dahyun is taking care of Sana. Being so mindful about the other girl’s needs, handing her a glass of water, or a tissue. Or how she shyly smiles when their eyes meet.

 _“How did you two meet?”_ Mina asks and Sana shares how she and Dahyun first met.

  
  


///flashback///

Sana was with Jeongyeon then to have her pet Bomb checked by her vet. She was sitting alone, reading a magazine about pets, not minding whatever was going on around her.

_“Dag!”_

_“Hoi!”_

_“Hallo?”_

_“Hello?”_

_“Hi?”_

_“Annyeong?”_

Sana looks up from the magazine and is met with the brightest smile she has ever seen. She smiled back and placed the magazine on her lap.

 _“I’ve never seen you here before. Are you a new client?”_ the stranger asked.

Sana shook her head, “ _No, I’m here with a friend. The tall blond one with a bitch, I mean with a black cat.”_

The stranger chortled, the bitchy cat. Ahh she knew who she meant.

 _“I’m Dahyun by the way. I’m a veterinarian here,”_ says the asian-looking woman. _“I’m korean.”_ She offered her hand to the visitor.

 _“I’m Sana,”_ The Japanese accepted her extended arm and shook it. _“I’m yours.”_ says the playful Japanese and chuckles at the apparent surprised look on the Korean’s face. _“Kidding, I’m Japanese.”_

///end of flashback///

  
  
  


Mina giggles upon hearing the story. _“Typical Sana,”_ Jeongyeon retorts, saying it’s her nature as a snake. And Momo agrees, _“You should have heard her pick up lines”_

Dahyun blushes and Momo starts to tell the story.

  
  


///flashback///

 _“Sana, I noticed you’re the only one who doesn’t have a pet among your group of friends.”_ Dahyun said to the Japanese woman.

 _“I don’t think I’m the kind to raise a pet,”_ Sana replied. _“But as a veterinarian, what can you suggest? What pet do you think matches my personality?”_

Dahyun contemplated for a while, _“Maybe a Shiba Inu. Since you resemble one.”_ Then she chuckled at the thought.

Sana thought about it, looking at the girl in front of her.

 _“I don’t want a dog,”_ she said “ _I wanna have you.”_

 _“Me? As a pet?”_ Dahyun laughed at the most random things Sana uttered. 

Sana nodded, _"and call you MINE."_

///end of flashback///

  
  
  


Mina laughs. Jeongyeon's friends are crackheads like her. She then turns to the oldest among the girls and asks, _“How about you, Momoring? Are you seeing someone now?”_

Momo just flicks her hand and replies, _“I’m not into that kind of shit. Besides, I’m too busy being their doctor once their hearts get broken.”_

Jeongyeon chortles at Momo’s response, _“Babe, our genius Momo here is too occupied about how to make the world a better place to date an ordinary person. I think no one’s ever gonna be good enough for her standards.”_

But Sana knows all along. She has always known why Momo is not entertaining anyone. She sees what Jeongyeon either is blind to notice, or just chooses not to see. How Momo’s eyes linger on her even when she’s not the one talking. How Momo secretly smiles at Jeongyeon’s antics. How Momo takes care of the younger woman. How Momo would follow Jeongyeon, even to the other side of the world. Sana knows because she sees it, the stolen glances, secret stares. They hold something more than friendship - love.

 _“We need to find another genius for her,”_ Sana adds and Momo just rolls her eyes. Maybe if Momo is just brave enough to admit what she feels, then just maybe it’s a different story than it is now. But Momo never did, and perhaps never will.

  
  
  


__________

**Summer of 2001**

Seven-year-old Momo is walking around their new neighbourhood when she spots a kid. The little girl which she presumes is younger than her is standing alone, wearing a shirt that reaches up to her thighs. Momo approaches the girl and greets her, _“Annyeong!”_

The five year old girl pulls her shirt lower to cover her legs, _“Annyeong!”_

 _“What are you doing here, aren’t you cold?”_ the Japanese girl asks.

 _“My grandmother is angry at me for wetting the bed,”_ the kid replies.

 _“I see,”_ Momo says. _“I’m Momo, I’m seven. What’s your name?”_

The younger looks at her, _“You’re an unnie. My name is Jeongyeon, I’m five.”_

Momo points at the house closeby, _“That’s my residence. We are new here.”_

The puzzled five year looks at her in confusion, _“What is ‘residence’?”_

 _“Oh, I forgot you’re only a kid.”_ Momo remarks (as if she’s not a kid herself). _“A residence is where you live.”_

The younger girl pouts, _“Like my house then.”_

Momo sighs, _“This is why I don’t like talking to kids. I need to explain things.”_

 _“Let’s be friends, unnie,”_ Jeongyeon says.

 _“Don’t you have siblings? Friends?”_ Momo inquires.

_“Two sisters. They are mean. They left me outside.”_

Momo takes off her sweater and puts it on Jeongyeon. Her big sweater looks like a dress on the younger kid, _“That will keep you warm. Don’t pee on the bed again. Big girls don't do that. You’re five, you’re a big girl already.”_

 _“Gomawoyo, unnie,”_ Jeongyeon says. _“Please be my friend forever.”_

Momo raises an eyebrow, _“Do you know what ‘forever’ means?_

Jeongyeon proudly nods her head and says, _“Forever is a very long time.”_

  
  


**Spring of 2009**

The 13-year-old Jeongyeon’s hair is disheveled as she buries her face into Momo’s embrace. In Momo’s arms who has become her refuge when things fall apart. Jeongyeon seeks Momo’s comforting warmth whenever things are not going well at home. To them Jeongyeon just doesn’t fit the mould - she’s too boyish for their liking, the least feminine amongst the siblings. The one who always gets and does things wrong. The black sheep of the family, they would say. The odd one.

Her family blamed it on her western blood that is very prominent in her - hazel eyes, blond hair. Something that she thinks is the reason why her family doesn't like her. Because she reminds him of her mother.

Jeongyeon realizes how big a mistake it was to confide her feelings to her sisters. That she’s having a crush on a certain transferee at school named Chou Tzuyu. She did not know her sisters would betray her and tell their father and grandmother about it. And now that they know, they are enraged.

Jeongyeon grew up in a very conservative family, and a homophobic one too - she later on found out. Her grandmother said that it wouldn’t be long now till she brings the family to shame. The poor girl couldn’t wrap her head around the idea why it is wrong to admire someone in the same gender. She’s not doing anything wrong. Is it a crime? A question that earned her a hard slap on the face from her father.

And now here she is, pouring her heart out to her bestfriend Momo. She’s being sent to her mother in Belgium. Belgium, wherever that is, sounds so foreign and far away from things she knows. She doesn’t even have any connection with her mother. She doesn’t have any memory of her. It scares her to be so far away. Scared to be away from her family and friends.

Momo gently taps Jeongyeon’s back, soothing her. _“Maybe Belgium is not so bad,”_ she tells the younger girl.

 _“But I’ll be alone there,”_ Jeongyeon replies.

 _“I want to study in Europe anyway. I think I’ll study there with you,”_ Momo tells the Korean.

Jeongyeon sniffles a sob, _“Do you mean that?”_

Momo nods.

And she did. For someone with an IQ of 160, Momo has no problem enrolling in any school she likes wherever it might be in the world.

  
  


**Winter of 2012**

Walking side by side along Minnewater Park (the Lake of Love) in Bruges, 18-year-old Momo glances at the now 16-year-old Jeongyeon. Her hair has grown longer, and the light blonde hair is now gaining more color. Momo stops in her tracks and fixes Jeongyeon’s scarf as she notices she’s feeling the winter chill.

 _“Thank you, Momoring,”_ the blonde tells the Japanese. Momo just smiles.

Momo looks at her boots and pretends that the stark contrast of its beige color against the cobbled street draws her attention. No, Momo looked down to hide her face from Jeongyeon. The gentleness in Jeongyeon’s voice seems to have pressed a button in her heart. She’s been avoiding it for months now, how Jeongyeon’s smile makes her heart flutter. That song Best Friend by Jason Chen is playing in her head,

_“I know it sounds crazy  
_ _That you'd be my baby  
_ _Girl, you mean that much to me  
_ _And nothing compares when  
_ _We're lighter than air and  
_ _We don't wanna come back down  
_ _And I don't wanna ruin what we have  
_ _Love is so unpredictable  
_ _But it's the risk that I'm taking, hoping, praying  
_ _You'd fall in love with your best friend”_

_“Do you know about the myth of this place?”_ Momo asks Jeongyeon.

Jeongyeon shakes her head. It did not occur to her that there’s even a myth about the lake. Too old-fashioned.

 _“There’s a story about a young and beautiful girl named Minna,”_ Momo begins.

 _“Mina, beautiful name,”_ Jeongyeon thinks and smiles.

Momo continues with her story, _“She was in love with a warrior from a neighbouring tribe -Stromberg. Her father disagrees with their relationship and wanted her to marry a man from a high class family that her father chose. The girl escaped before she was wed away. But when the warrior found her too late. She died in his arms. This lake is named after her, Minnewater.”_

 _“Oh, that was sad,”_ Jeongyeon says.

 _“But that’s not all. There’s another myth about that bridge,”_ pointing at the bridge called Lovers Bridge. “ _Do you know that if you walk over the bridge and kiss your loved one, it will become eternal love?”_

Momo’s trivias never seem to run out. As expected from a genius. (Whooo genius Momo!)

The puzzled Jeongyeon looks at Momo, _“Really?”_

“That’s what the legend says,” Momo shrugs her shoulders.

Jeongyeon smiles, _“Then I will find my Mina. I'll bring her there,"_ pointing at the Lovers Bridge, _"and kiss her!”_

Momo feels her heart stopped from beating. Jeongyeon never sees her more than a friend. She will always be just a friend.  
  
Fuck whoever that Mina is!

  
  


**Autumn of 2013**

Jeongyeon confesses to Momo that she’s going to ask Sana to be her girlfriend. For the second time in her life, Momo’s heart was broken. She has always been the one to comfort Jeongyeon, but she doesn't have the slightest idea how to nurse her wounded heart. No matter how exceptionally gifted she is, Momo can’t find the rational explanation as to why she can’t stop herself from feeling that way towards her best friend.

However, Jeongyeon’s relationship with Sana did not last long. It ended as quickly as it started. Jeongyeon did not even cry, nor did Sana. It was surprising how the two were just cool about it after shoving their tongues into each other’s throat. Weird, Momo thinks. Her best friends are weird.

And when JeongSa broke up, Momo’s heart healed a little. . . just to be broken again.

  
  


**Winter of 2014**

Momo smiles at Jeongyeon as she sees her walk across the club. She lifts her arm and waves at her. Jeongyeon excitedly walks towards her and Sana, with a guy holding her hand. Momo’s heart sunk.

 _“Hi,”_ Jeongyeon greets them. _“This is Björn.”_

Who the fuck is Björn? _“Hi, Björn. I’m Momo. Jeongyeon’s friend,”_ Momo introduces herself and so does Sana.

 _“Nice to meet you, ladies,”_ the cute guy says.

Jeongyeon tugs the guy’s hand along as she bids her friends goodbye.

Momo feels her heart being torn apart once more. Why can’t it be her? Why is it always not her? Suddenly that song she calls old and stupid feels as though I was written in her behalf.

_“You give your hand to me  
_ _And then you say "Goodbye"  
_ _And I watched you walk away  
_ _Beside the lucky guy  
_ _Oh, you'll never ever know  
_ _The one who loved you so  
_ _No, you don't know me”_

She watches Jeongyeon with the guy disappear into the sea of strangers. She gulps as much alcohol her stomach can handle, trying to drown her wailing heart. Because Jeongyeon doesn’t know about her, she has always been beside her. Jeongyeon never knew. She’ll never know that one who loves her so.

_“To you I’m just a friend,_ _  
_ _That’s all I’ve ever been.”_

  
  


**Spring of 2015**

After Jeongyeon’s misadventures of fishing on the other side of the river, she broke up with Björn. Her confused gay ass finally realized she’s gay as gay can be. Confiding to who else but Momo, feeling sorry about herself having to do what she did. Also for the guy who seemed sincere about their relationship. Tears and beers were shared, getting wasted over regrets.

Until a kiss was also shared between a drunk Jeongyeon who pulled Momo close and stole the older girl’s first kiss. A brief kiss that was imprinted in Momo’s mind nonetheless. A fleeting moment that ignited fire in the dying embers of her heart.

But Jeongyeon remembers nothing about that kiss shared during a moment of drunkenness. Or so she claims, to Momo’s disappointment.

And to add insult to injury, Nayeon came into their lives.

When Jeongyeon met Nayeon, the latter was studying as a scholar in KU Leuven. Nayeon was studying for a Bachelor of Business Engineering, same as Jeongyeon. Like Jeongyeon, Nayeon came from a conversative Korean household. And that’s why she couldn’t make their relationship public, or introduce Jeongyeon to her family. Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s relationship was a series of breaking up and making up, over and over again. So toxic Momo openly criticizes Nayeon on Jeongyeon’s face.

Until Nayeon got pregnant during her last year in KU Leuven. She was devastated. Scared about what her family will do. She might lose her scholarship and waste all the hard work she's done so far. Nayeon told Jeongyeon about and the latter asked who the father was. The father of the child is Jackson Wang, a short-time fling she had when they temporarily broke up. Jackson wanted Nayeon to have an abortion since both were unprepared about becoming parents and throwing their chances down the drain.

Jeongyeon begged Nayeon not to have an abortion as it was not the child’s mistake. She offered Nayeon marriage, that way she could stay in Belgium. She could continue studying too. Having no other option, Nayeon accepted. 

But just as Momo has predicted, their marriage was doomed to fail. Nayeon married Jackson afterwards after their divorce in the _“hopes”_ of raising Chaeyoung as a complete family, a _normal one_. Jackson also wanted Jeongyeon's connection with the child to be stopped to avoid confusion in the future. Chaeyoung is not her own flesh and blood. But she loves the child to death.

The heartbroken Jeongyeon picked up Chaeyoung from school without Nayeon’s knowledge and headed to her house in Hasselt. She was charged with kidnapping, which heavily affected her custody claims. Nayeon and Jackson offered her an agreement in exchange for dropping the charges, for her to stay away from Chaeyoung. The enraged Jeongyeon punched Jackson in the face, knocking a tooth out. 

Jeongyeon did not want to, she didn't want to give Chaeyoung up. Momo and Sana pleaded so the drama would cease. Her mother begged her to accept the terms, and in the end she gave up.

After she came out of prison, Jeongyeon stayed with Momo for a few days. Staying in her own place is too much for her as each corner reminded her of Nayeon and Chaeyoung. Momo’s heart breaks seeing how broken Jeongyeon is. Momo remained as Jeongyeon’s refuge all through these years, and she doesn’t even have a clue how Momo feels.

Momo was in her study room, doing what Jeongyeon calls as “genius stuff” while listening to a song Jeongyeon does not understand. The language is so foreign she wonders if Momo even knows what the song meant.

_“_ _Bakit hindi mo maramdaman  
_ _Ikaw sa akin ay mahalaga  
_ _Ako sayo'y kaibigan lamang  
_ _Paano nga ba't di ko matanggap  
_ _At ako pa ba'y iibigin pa  
_ _Ang dinadasal makikiusap na lang  
_ _Akin ka na lang  
_ _Akin ka na lang  
_ _Ang dinadasal sa araw-araw  
_ _Akin ka na lang  
_ _Akin ka na lang”_

_“What does that song even mean?”_ The intrigued Jeongyeon barged into Momo’s study without knocking.

Momo removed her specs and inquisitively looked at Jeongyeon, _“Do you really wanna know?”_

Jeongyeon sighed and dismissed the question, _“No, not really. It doesn’t even matter.”_ She leaned on Momo's door, arms crossed across her chest.

Had Jeongyeon said yes Momo would have confessed her feelings. The chance has slipped through her fingers. And she doesn't know when she will get another chance again.

  
  
  


Winter. Spring. Summer. Fall. Momo was there. She remained a constant through the changing seasons of Jeongyeon’s life. 

She remembers that conversation clearly like it was just yesterday. The day she first met the five year old Jeongyeon.

 _“Gomawoyo, unnie,”_ five year old Jeongyeon says. _“Please be my friend forever.”_

Momo raises an eyebrow, _“Do you know what ‘forever’ means?_

Jeongyeon proudly nods her head and says, _“Forever is a very long time.”_

  
  


And ironically enough, Momo stayed in that friend-zone for a very long time that feels like forever now.

  
  
  


__________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOR THOSE WHO ASKED 💚 HERE ARE THE PLAYLISTS
> 
> WHIAOW (soft)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5KBjZgQ2iYWTnbpAW0A8eh?si=rBz4rPsFTaePUjVDmO8dqQ
> 
> WHIAOW (road trip)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/60VePVfuVGB7IHBjMKQbyj?si=gRObKR2STOWBwKQTGBJdyw


	9. FINALLY FOUND YOU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongyeon finally got kissed on the Lovers' Bridge.

Mina enters Jeongyeon’s library in search of an old book. That book Jeongyeon used when she first arrived in Belgium. One she dutifully studied and scribbled notes on each page. A book called “Nederlands voor Dummies.” (Dutch for Dummies)

It didn’t take long for her to find it. Not when every rack is organized like that of a school library. Mina carefully takes out the book and smiles as she sees Jeongyeon’s name on it written in Korean. Her penmanship in writing alphabets then was really bad. She flips through the pages, not really reading. Just looking at the notes Jeongyeon wrote, until a piece of paper falls off from its hideaway between the old pages.

Mina bends over, picks it up and reads what is written in there,

유정연   
Yoo Jorgina

“Yoo Jorgina?” Mina reads it out loud. Is that her english name?

She closes the book and goes to look for the owner of the book. On her way out, Mina’s eyes get caught by a peculiar looking black case. That surely does not look like a guitar or violin case. She closes the door behind her and continues on her way.

She eventually finds her in the cellar, who seems to be selecting which bottle of wine to pick.

“Babe,” Mina calls out.

Jeongyeon stops from what she is doing, and turns to smile at the shorter girl. “I see you found it,” she says.

Mina nods, “Yes. And by the way, I saw a weird looking case in the library. That does not look like a guitar case to me.”

“Ah that. That’s a sax,” Jeongyeon replies.

“Saxophone?” is Mina’s surprised reply. “You play saxophone, too?”

Jeongyeon laughs at her girlfriend’s awed expression. “I’m not the best one. I only can play a little.”

“My gosh, Yoo Jeongyeon. I bet you will never cease to amaze me every single day!” Mina blurts out.

Jeongyeon steps closer to her, so close that they both can feel the heat their bodies emit in the cold cellar. She snakes her left arm around Mina’s waist, pulling the Japanese against her, “That is good then. I intend to amaze you. Altijd.” She whispers in a sultry voice. (Altijd - always)

Mina’s knees weaken as she feels Jeongyeon’s warm breath on her neck. Her face flushes red as she can’t seem to breath. Because Jeongyeon, literally, took her breath away.

Jeongyeon smiles knowingly after seeing Mina’s reaction. She has delivered her message. And she got the response she wanted. She steps back and acts as if nothing happened. Playing the strings of Mina’s heart.

Mina clears her throat, trying to ease the tension she’s feeling.

“And I found something else, too.”

“And that is?” Jeongyeon asks.

Mina takes out the piece of paper and shows Jeongyeon, “This.”

Jeongyeon steps closer again to her girlfriend to see the note better, and Mina tenses up a little.

“Is your english name Jorgina?” Mina asks.

Jeongyeon chuckles, “Ah this. Yes, Jorgina is my english name. My classmates find Jeongyeon difficult to remember. And Jorgina sounds fine. Cool. ”

“That’s a strong name you got,” Mina comments. “I have an english name myself.”

“You do?”

Mina smiles, “It’s Sharon.”

Jeongyeon narrows her eyes and twists her lips, somehow feeling she has heard it before. But cannot remember when. “That name sounds familiar.” 

“It’s a common name, I know,” Mina replies and Jeongyeon shakes her head. “Sharon is not a common name, my love.”

_ Sharon. I’m sure I’ve heard it before. But where? _

  
  


__________

Jeongyeon has her eyes on the road, but glances from time to time at Mina. Last night the younger woman asked her how old she was when she started playing the instrument. Jeongyeon enrolled in the music class when she arrived in Belgium. It was sort of a way to keep herself busy. An escape. Being a mixed race, she feels as though she was too white to be asian, and too asian to be belgian. But as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “Music is the universal language of mankind.” Although she couldn’t speak Flemish back then, it wasn’t a problem. As long as she had the sheet music, they all could play in symphony.

After learning that Jeongyeon plays saxophone, Mina became interested in it. She, herself, can play a few musical instruments. But the saxophone didn’t capture her interest, until she found out her girlfriend plays it. She searched the internet for some facts about the instrument. And is happy at some answers she found.

Saxophone was patented in Paris but was invented by a Belgian named Adolphe Sax. Hence the name Saxophone. Sax was born on November 6, 1814 the small city of Dinant in Belgium. Mina loves the idea that Jeongyeon was also born in November. November 1, 1996 to be exact.

And that is where they are going right now, to Dinant where the inventor came from. The two have a few days to spare before going back to Austria. And they planned a day tour in the city.

These past days Mina has been into learning her language, even insisting on listening to dutch songs. Like the song that is playing on the car’s stereo.

_ “Ergens in haar blik (somewhere in her gaze) _

_ Zie ik dat er iets (I see that there’s something) _

_ Iets veranderd is (something is changed)” _

Jeongyeon observes Mina as the latter moves her body to the beat. Repeating the dutch words that are familiar to her.

_ “Ze zegt: weet je wat het is baby (She said, “You know what it is, baby?” _

_ Ik voel me sexy als ik dans (I feel sexy as I dance)” _

  
  


She smiles to herself and asks Mina, “Do you understand the lyrics, baby?”

“I do understand some words, not all,” Mina replies, still dancing to the song in her seat.

Jeongyeon hums, Mina picks the language quickly. “You seem to like the song a lot.”

Mina agrees. “It is very catchy. Makes me wanna dance,” she says with a twinkle in her eyes. “And I feel sexy when I dance,” Mina continues, winking at Jeongyeon.

Jeongyeon chuckles, Mina really understands the lyrics.

They exit the car and start walking along the River Meuse, admiring the geography - from the rock formations that leaves you in awe, to the river snaking across the land since time immemorial. Summer in Dinant is a league of its own. When the summer sun shines, it heightens the seraphic beauty of the little city. Its sublime light showers the medieval Notre Dame de Dinant, its castles, and the fortress that has witnessed history being made.

First on their agenda is the Citadelle de Dinant. They took the funicular to get to the citadel that is overlooking the tiny city. Mina takes photos of the Dinant’s landscape, while Jeongyeon is reading the inscriptions on the wall. Mina snaps photos of the taller girl. Jeongyeons reads that the Battle of Dinant took place in 1914. German troops captured the Citadel several times. And on August 23, about 674 civilians were massacred. Jeongyeon winces at the horrible act.

“Are you interested in history too?” Mina asks, standing next to Jeongyeon. Reading the writings on the wall, but not understanding. It is written in french.

“I wasn’t interested in it before, to be honest with you. Not until I met Jan and Maria,” Jeongyeon replies. “It changed my view in learning about the past, and appreciating what liberty we have now.”

Mina nods, Jeongyeon has a point. They are lucky to be living in this period, enjoying a level of freedom that people in the past could only dream of.

Jeongyeon turns to her girlfriend, “It’s important to look back at the past, learn from it and hopefully we will not make the same mistake again.”

“I hope we won’t,” Mina replies. “I’m truly glad that I met Jan and Maria too. It’s a privilege to be in acquaintance with people to live to tell the story, and hear the wisdom they have collected through the years.”

Jeongyeon smiles, “I miss them already.”

“Me too.”

They both need to go back, especially Mina whose visa is about to expire.

  
  


The two walked around the citadel. Mina holds on tight to Jeongyeon’s arm the moment they enter a room with old-fashioned weapons which to Mina look like torture devices. A shiver ran down her spine realizing that decades and decades ago, someone was standing on the very same spot she is now and was about to be decapitated or tortured in the most horrendous way possible.

Jeongyeon feels the uneasiness in Mina and suggests they visit the castles first and return to the city center afterwards. And so they go hopping from one castle to another, taking as many pictures as they can. Who will not? They all are spectacular! They visited the Castle of Crevecoeur, Vêves Castle, Chateau Chession, Ruines du Chateau Thierry, Château des Roches, Castle of Freÿr (considered as one of Wallonia’s major heritage sites), and Château de Boisseilles.

Jeongyeon excuses herself and goes to the powder room. When she returns, she sees Mina touch the wall and close her eyes in silence. She lets her be one with the moment. There’s something about it that she can’t point a finger at. The moment feels . . . holy. So divine that a sinner like herself seems to have no part of.

The rays of light peer through the small openings on the wall, illuminating Mina the way the sun gives light to the moon. A soft glow of moonlight in this darkened room. Her eyes closed, as if saying a prayer and heaven is listening to her.

Jeongyeon lifts her camera and takes a photo, capturing the moment forever. She fervently believes that years from now this picture of her will be turned into a painting. And it will be hanged on the wall of a church or a museum. Because Mina, Mina looks like an angel begging the heavens to give her her wings back.

Mina opens her eyes and makes her way towards Jeongyeon who is still stuck in her place. “Were you . . . praying?” Jeongyeon hesitates but still asks. Mina smiles at her, “I was.”

“What did you pray for?” Jeongyeon further pries.

“I prayed for all the souls that once lived and died here. I prayed that all have found and will find their peace,” is Mina’s reply.

Jeongyeon smiles at her and holds her hand, “I’m sure they appreciate the prayer. And I pray that your prayer will be heard.”

“Did it ever cross your mind that what if in another lifetime you and I had been here before?” Mina asks.

Jeongyeon looks at her inquisitively, “What do you mean? An alternate universe? Parallel world?”

“You can put it that way,” Mina replies. “Isn’t it interesting? That you and I were here, and now we are here again.”

Jeongyeon smiles at the other girl, “I won’t mind as long as in each lifetime it will be Mina’s Jeongyeon and Jeongyeon’s Mina. I don’t like the idea of you being with someone else.”

Mina giggles, “That’s why you need to remember me, us. Choose me, Jeongyeon. Don’t let me go no matter which world or universe we are. Hold on to me. Come back to me.” And just like that Mina goes to another room, leaving the confused Jeongyeon behind.

The taller girl finds it odd how that didn’t feel like Mina at all. It’s Mina, but . . .

Her thoughts are interrupted the moment her girlfriend holds onto her arm.

“Babe, I was looking for you anywhere! You said you’d go to the powder room so I followed you.” Mina says, catching her breath.

Jeongyeon wrinkles her forehead. Now this is weird and even more confusing that it already is earlier, “What are you talking about? We just talked a minute ago.”

“Jeongyeon, I had been around looking for you.”

“Are you pranking me, babe?” Jeongyeon suspiciously asks.

The no-nonse Mina stares at her with a stern look on her face, “Do I look like I’m in the mood for that now?”

Jeongyeon laughs dryly, “Kidding! I’m kidding okay! I was actually looking for you too, babe. But you found me first.” Mina looks like she’s telling the truth, and she doesn’t want to annoy her penguin. Last time she did, the cold treatment was horrible.

Was her brain only playing tricks on her?

She checks her camera to see if the picture she took is really there.

Jeongyeon feels the goosebumps upon checking the roll.

It’s there.

The picture is there!   
  
Then how?

Who?

If that wasn’t Mina, then who was that?

  
  


__________

They drive a little farther to the last castle on their list, th e Château de Walzin in Namur. They parked the car in a small parking lot next to a small pen with a black noisy ram in it that keeps bleating. Mina follows a big path but it only leads her to the River Lisse. Jeongyeon walks behind her, and the two now are admiring the water as the waves glistened under the sun. Jeongyeon holds Mina’s hand and leads her towards an old wooden bridge. They stop in the middle of the bridge with lips parted in awe. It looks like a scene from a movie. The view of the medieval castle settled on top of rocks and the river cascading on the foot of the cliff. Like a scene from Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings.

The excited Mina runs ahead, looking for a better view. Jeongyeon is not far behind with brisk footsteps under the shade of the trees she supposes have innumerable stories to tell. And hers and Mina’s will be one of those stories that will be whispered among the trees, and be passed on through the ages. She hopes their love will be perennial as the grass, enduring, lasting, even when seasons change as they are now in its clove.

Mina stops at her chosen spot, motioning Jeongyeon to join her. With wonder in her eyes, Mina looks at the Walzin Castle before them. “Baby, this seems like a dream!” Mina exclaims in excitement.

“I wanted to own a castle and renovate it. That was the dream. Not anymore,” Jeongyeon says as she lovingly gazes at Mina.

Mina looks at her, “Not anymore? Why?”

“Because,” Jeongyeon tilts Mina’s chin and stares with utmost sincerity in her eyes, “I have already found my paradise.”

Mina lips curve into a smile. She tiptoes and kisses Jeongyeon’s lips.

Jeongyeon giggles at the latter’s sweetness and says, “This is where I should say a poem or a quote about castles and love, but I couldn’t remember anything that involves a queen finding a queen.”

Mina pulls away, “Jeongyeon, remember what I said to you in Brandstatt-Alm?”

“Which part of it?” Jeongyeon asks back, trying to remember what her exact words were.

Mina sighs, “I told you not every woman needs a man.”

Jeongyeon smiles as she remembers the conversation, “Yes, I remember now. And let this be our own quotable quote about castles and love. ‘Not every queen needs a king.’” Mina chuckles,

“I love the sound of it.”

Mina pulls Jeongyeon by the nape and takes her lips in hers once again.

“And who needs a castle when we have found our paradise,” Mina says before tasting the smile on Jeongyeon’s lips again.

  
  


__________

Back at the city center, Mina grabs Jeongyeon’s hand and drags her to a pâtisserie. The Japanese’s eyes twinkle at the sight of the goodies in front of them. Her eyes are drawn at the colorful macaroons and the chocolates. But then she sees the couque de dinant, the town’s specialty. One in the shape of a saxophone. She smiles at Jeongyeon, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Bonjour! (Hello!)” says the cashier. The woman has been eyeing Jeongyeon like some eye-candy the moment they entered the bakeshop. “Comment puis-je vous aider?(How can I help you?)”

“Bonjour! Puis-je avoir un paquet de macarons? Et j'aurai ça aussi.” (Hello! Can I have a pack of macaroons. And I will have this too,” Jeongyeon greets back and lays the cookie on the counter.

The woman retrieves a pack of macaroons and smiles flirtatiously at Jeongyeon. The jealous Mina intertwines their fingers together, as if telling the cashier that Jeongyeon is hers. Jeongyeon wants to pay but Mina stops her, she uses her card instead. “It’s on me, babe,”Mina throws a glance at the cashier, emphasizing the word “Babe”.

Jeongyeon presses her lips together to hide a smile. Jealous Mina is so adorable! Not when she becomes extra clingy to make the other woman back off. Jealous Mina is possessive Mina.

Mina still has their fingers intertwined after they exit the bakeshop, and Jeongyeon loves it. They cross the bridge over the River Meuse. Each side of the bridge is decorated with statues of saxophones in celebration and tribute to its inventor. You can find pretty much anywhere in Dinant these statues.

The two later enter the Notre Dame de Dinant that is situated not far from the bridge. They walk around admiring the renaissance architecture, the intricate patterns, the elaborate paintings. Mina sits on a pew. Jeongyeon sits next to her and closes her eyes in prayer.

When she opens her eyes again Mina remarks, “I didn’t know you are a believer.”

“Well, not really. But having an angel next to me makes me believe in heavenly things,” Jeongyeon smiles at the girl next to her.

Mina returns the smile, “What did you pray for?”

“I prayed for you,” Jeongyeon replies, “to never let me go.”

Mina doesn't say a word, she just holds Jeongyeon's hand. And Jeongyeon wonders what’s going inside her mind.

  
  


__________

When they left the cathedral, they saw a small group of people gather around a group of street performers. Soon they find their feet leading to the crowd. Too bad, the singer just said he will rest for a few minutes before resuming. Mina pouts in disappointment.

An idea pops in Jeongyeon’s mind. She speaks with the performers and Mina sees the street performers nodding at whatever her girlfriend told them. She then sees Jeongyeon pick up the guitar and start strumming.

A smile is plastered on Mina’s face. It’s the song they were listening to in the car on their way to Dinant.

**SEXY ALS IK DANS** (Nielson)   
_ Weet je wat het is _ _  
_ _ Ik heb geen goede moves _ _  
_ _ Maar je zie je niet dat ik _ _  
_ _ Precies weet wat ik doe _ _  
_ _ En ze kan het niet laten, nee _ _  
_ _ Ze kan het niet laten, yeah, yeah _

Hearing someone is performing, the crowd becomes bigger as more people gather around them. The audience starts clapping their hands and dancing to the popular song.

_ Weet je wat het is _ _  
_ _ Zij komt naar me toe _ _  
_ _ Ze vraagt me: ga je lekker _ _  
_ _ Wat ben je nou aan het doen _ _  
_ _ En ik kan het niet laten, nee _ _  
_ _ Ik kan het niet laten _

_  
_   
Jeongyeon stops strumming the song and says,

_ Ik zeg weet je wat het is baby _

  
The crowd replies in unison.

_ Ik voel me sexy als ik dans _

The ladies start dancing in the open space where Jeongyeon is performing. Some of them start dancing too close to her, touching her shoulders. And Mina doesn’t like it. Her competitive spirit would have been resting, but the girls are not bad to look at. As if a bunch of models decided to flirt with her girlfriend.

_ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh _ _  
_ _ Yeah _ _  
_ _ Oh, oh, oh _ _  
_ _ Sexy als ik dans _ _  
_ _ Eh, eh, eh, _ _  
_ _ Eh, eh, eh ,eh _

Mina sees Jeongyeon’s eyes on her, as if saying it’s not her fault. That’s it. Mina snaps. And she dances her way through the crowd, making her way to her girlfriend. Jeongyeon’s face lights up as Mina dances in front of her, marking her territory. _  
_ _ Ik voel me sexy als ik dans _ _  
_ _ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh _ _  
_ _ Yeah, _ _  
_ _ Ik voel me sexy als ik dans _ _  
_ _ Eh, eh, eh _ _  
_ _ Eh, eh, eh, eh _

Jeongyeon realizes that penguins are territorial.

  
  


__________

It is already evening when they return to Bruges. The smile on Jeongyeon’s face is still evident on her face. Today has been great. And she loves how Mina gets jealous, it was cute how her silent penguin gets competitive. But to be honest, none of the girls in Dinant is as beautiful as her Mina. And it will always be this penguin, who’s still holding her hand right now, who will capture her eyes and heart.

It didn’t dawn on Jeongyeon that they are now standing in the middle of the Lovers’ Bridge, over the Lake of Love until Mina tugs her hand and points at the swans. She smiles at the memory of her and Momo talking about the myths of the lake and the bridge.

She looks at Mina adoringly, she has found her Minna. How could she forget she made a vow to find her Minna and kiss her on this bridge. She was young then. Yet somehow the universe heard her and brought them together.

“Babe, do you know that there’s a myth about this lake?” Jeongyeon says.

Mina looks at her and shakes her head.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named Minna. She fell in love with a warrior from another village. Her father was against their relationship and wanted her to marry someone from a wealthy family. Before the wedding, Minna runaway. The warrior looked for her but he was too late. Minna died in his arms. She was buried under this lake. And so this lake is named Minnewater in her honor, and dubbed as Lake of Love.”

Mina looks sad after hearing the story, “That’s so sad. I wish they ended up together.”

“I know,” Jeongyeon replied. “And this bridge has its own myth too.”

“Really?”

“They say that if you kiss the one you love on this bridge, your love will become eternal,” Jeongyeon steps closer to Mina. She holds Mina’s face with her palm, staring into her beautiful eyes.

“Years ago, I told Momo I will find my Mina and kiss her here on this bridge,” Jeongyeon continues and inches closer to the Japanese woman. 

Mina smiles at her, she cups Jeongyeon’s face with her hands and kisses her,

_ “Ik.” (I) _

Kiss.

_ “Hou.”(Love) _

Kiss.

_ “Van.” _

Kiss.

_ “Jou.” (You) _

Kiss.

_ “Mijn Alles.” (My everything) _

Jeongyeon’s eyes brims with tears,

“I found you. I found my Mina.”

  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:
> 
> Sexy Als Ik Dans - Nielson


	10. DIAMANT (Diamond)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongyeon is reunited with her daughter Chaeyoung, and Mina finally meets Nayeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be updating less frequently than I used to. I'm studying again and I'm juggling school, work and internship. But I will write on my days off. Thanks for coming back after I re-uploaded this fic.

Mina looks around her as she sits on a steel bench inside the station in Antwerpen-Centraal (Antwerp Central). It is dubbed as the most beautiful railway station in the world, and it is justified. This gigantic train station has four different levels. Mina’s gaze marvels at its beauty, so unique that it is difficult for experts to associate an architectural style with it. Further in the list are London's St. Pancras station, the Old City Hall Station in New York and the Netkous Viaduct in The Hague, Netherlands.

The sound of approaching footsteps makes her turn. She sees Jeongyeon smiling at her with cups of coffee in both hands. She hands one to Mina which the latter gratefully accepted.

“I thought you said coffee is bad for my insomnia?” Mina teases.

Jeongyeon just chuckles, “I know. I also miss coffee to be honest with you. And besides, I need caffeine to wake me up.”

Mina hums, she notices how anxious Jeongyeon is these past days. She would catch her staring into space but won’t tell her what’s bugging her.

“Tell me again why we are here today,” Mina says before taking a sip from her cup.

As if the question is the last question she expected to hear, Jeongyeon coughs as she gulps her coffee. The worried Mina directly wipes the spilled black liquid on Jeongyeon white shirt.

“Omo! We need to get you a shirt.” Mina says, the stain is very visible.

Jeongyeon looks at the stain. There’s no way she can hide it, they better go to a store. They’ll just meet up with Sana, Dahyun and Momo after.

“Ça va? Are you okay?” Mina asks and Jeongyeon nods her head. “Why did you have to be so surprised by my simple question?”

“N..no, I - I wasn’t,” Jeongyeon replies and Mina rolls her eyes.

“You weren’t and yet you’re stammering,” Mina eyes her suspiciously. 

Jeongyeon shrugs her shoulders. Mina sighs and takes her hand, dragging her towards the exit and to the nearby store.

While checking between racks of clothes, Mina can’t help notice how Jeongyeon often checks her phone. _Is she talking to her friends? Is she talking to her ex?_

Although she does not want to admit it, Mina was jealous when she caught Jeongyeon checking on Nayeon’s Instagram. Jeongyeon said she was just watching her daughter. But still she feels that way. Nayeon is pretty attractive and Mina feels insecure. _Maybe she’s checking on Nayeon's Instagram again._

Nayeon’s life seems picture perfect. She constantly updates her account with pictures from their trips, the gifts she received from her husband, playtime with Chaeyoung, dinner dates. A life every couple will dream of having one day. Perfect. _Is Jeongyeon sorry Jackson is in her place?_

Mina coughs to get Jeongyeon’s attention. The taller woman looks at her and she hands her a white t-shirt. Jeongyeon after all seems uninterested in choosing which shirt to get. Jeongyeon takes it from her and thanks her. Mina is getting more and more bothered.

After purchasing the shirt, the two go back to the station where Jeongyeon changes her shirt. While Jeongyeon is in the washroom, Mina’s curious and jealous self can’t keep her hands to herself and opens her girlfriend’s cellphone.

She goes to Jeongyeon’s Instagram and scrolls over the photos. _Oh! She did not delete her old photos with Nayeon and Chaeyoung._ Mina feels her heart breaking. _Why couldn’t she bring herself to delete these? Is she still in love with Nayeon?_

She scrolls further and sees the photo of Jeongyeon proposing to Nayeon. And there’s that smile again. That smile she saw on Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s wedding photo. Her heart is beating hard against her chest. 

Mina returns the phone back but sees a message pop-up. It’s from Nayeon! Her fingers tremble as she views the short message without opening it. She doesn’t want Jeongyeon to know she’s been into her stuff.

  
  


**Nayeon: What do you want to ask me, Jeong?**

  
  


_They are indeed talking without my knowledge!_ Mina tries to calm herself down. She can’t be irrational about it. Maybe they are only talking about Chaeyoung. Again the phone lights up, but this time it’s from Dahyun’s call.

“Hey, Dahyun!” Mina answers the call.

“Hi, unnie. We are here. Where are you?” she hears Dahyun on the other end of the line.

“Jeongyeon’s still in the washroom. Say we’ll meet you up there in the perron? Stay there and we’ll go to you.” Mina says.

“Okay then. Tot seffens (Till soon!)” Dahyun confirms.

Not long after Jeongyeon returns with a fresh white shirt and a smile on her face. Mina hands her her phone and tells her Dahyun called. The two head towards where the three are and Sana directly snakes her arm on Mina’s arm.

“So, Minari,” Sana says in a whisper for the two of them to hear. “Will you please accompany me?”

“Accompany you?” the confused Mina asks.

Sana leans closer to her, “I will ask Dahyun to marry me. Please help me select the right ring.”

Mina gulps in excitement. “Of course I will help you! But do you know her ring size?”

Sana nods, “Yes, I have it. I measured her ring finger while she was sleeping.” Sana winks and secretly gives Mina a glance of a thread in her pocket. “Momo will go with us.”

Mina tries very hard to hide her giddiness. All the jealousy she felt earlier is forgotten. That’s good. She needs this distraction. Sana tells the others she’s taking Mina with her and Mina finds it rather odd how Jeongyeon didn’t object. This is supposed to be a group trip after all. Maybe Jeongyeon already knows about Sana’s plan.

So the three go to Antwerp’s Diamantkwartier (Diamond Quarter) which is not very far from the central station while Jeongyeon and Dahyun go somewhere else.

Momo notices how Mina admires the infrastructures around them. _She’s very much like Jeongyeon._ Momo thinks to herself. “I see you have a thing for historical things,” Momo starts.

Mina glaces back at the Japanese woman with black hair. She smiles enthusiastically, “It’s interesting, isn’t it? I mean history.”

“What’s interesting about old things and dead people?” Sana asks. She’s had enough of these trivias from Momo and Jeongyeon, and now Mina is joining the History Club.

Momo hisses at Sana, and the woman with brown hair rolls her eyes. “I pity Dahyun, seriously.” Mina just laughs at the two.

“Why is this place called _Diamantkwartier_?” Mina inquires.

Sana sighs, “Here we go again...”

Momo turns to Mina and says, “Don’t mind her. As you probably already know Antwerp is the diamond capital of the world. 84% of the world's diamonds pass by here.The diamond quarter of Antwerp is where the four most important diamond markets are located.

I won’t go through all the details or this Shiba Inu will die of boredom. So, it was a Flemish jeweller named Lodewyck van Bercken who invented the scaif in 1475. The scaif is a polishing wheel infused with diamond dust and olive oil. This made the cutting of diamond easier and revolutionised the industry.

Many Jews from Antwerp moved to Amsterdam in the 17th century due to religious tolerance in the Netherlands. Back then diamond industry is the only industry that they were allowed to work and they excelled in it. Due to the colonial power of the Netherlands, the diamond trade extended across the world. New Amsterdam which is known to date as New York, and Cape Town in South Africa became vital bases of the international diamond trade in the 20th and the 21st century.

When World War II happened, most Jewish people from Amsterdam and Antwerp were either forced to escape or were sent to extermination camps. You know about this for sure, the antisemitism and Nazi,” Momo asks and Mina nods her head.

Momo continues, “After the second world war, Antwerp rebuilt its diamond industry by establishing a new marketing strategy. And guess what that is?”

Mina thinks hard for a few seconds and answers, “Engagement and wedding rings?”

Momo snaps her fingers in agreement, “Bingo! They presented diamonds as a symbol of love and marriage. Ever heard of the song Diamonds are Forever?”

“You mean the James Bond theme song?” Mina guesses.

Satisfied with Mina’s answer, Momo smiles, “You are smart as you are beautiful, Minari. Yes, that song. The motto then was “A Diamond is Forever”. A ring with a diamond became the perfect wedding present. The elite bought the strategy, and it became every girl’s dream. To have a huge stone sitting on their ring.”

“Not me,” Mina says to Momo’s surprise.

“Are you for real?” Sana blurts out, looking back at Momo.

Mina laughs at their reactions, “Why? It’s beautiful and all but I’d rather have a love that will last forever than a stone.”

Sana stops walking. She holds Mina’s arm, making the blonde to face her. “And by that do you also mean you are willing to leave everything, money and fame, for the person you love?”

Mina gently holds Sana’s hand and replies, “Yes, Sana-chan.”

“Omo! Jeongie’s so lucky!” Sana exclaims.

“Alright, that ends my trivia for today. I won’t tell you about blood diamonds,” Momo asks and Sana intervenes.

“Yes, that’s enough. Let’s not ruin the mood, okay? Mina can read about that later. I’m getting so emotional right now. Omo, Minari. I’m so happy for Jeongie!”

Mina giggles, “Let’s not make this about me and Jeongyeon. We’re here to choose a ring for Dahyun. Come on,” she beckons the other two and they enter a store.

“Ja, laten wij gaan (Yes, let’s go). They are staring at us,” Momo says, making the girls look around them.

Momo quickly grabs Mina and Sana’s hand and leads them inside the shop. “I hope nobody recognizes you, Minari,” she says.

“I don’t think so. Besides, I dyed my hair blond.” Mina replies, still looking through the tinted glass. “I hope not.”

“Or maybe they’re just not used to seeing three beautiful girls together on a daily basis,” Sana optimistically says, making Mina chuckle.

Sana proceeds on checking rings. Momo and Mina also try some on their fingers after Sana’s incessant prodding. Mina finds out that the ring of thread Sana has in her pocket is the same size as her ring finger. And so she puts on the rings Sana finds beautiful as a trial. They go from one jewelry shop to another but Sana can’t seem to choose the right ring. “How about you, Minari? Is there a ring that caught your eye?” Sana asks.

“There is, it’s that one,” Mina points at a blooming halo of layered pear-shaped diamonds elevating the center aquamarine gem. The diamond leaves and dazzling accents complete its magnificent, nature-inspired look.

Momo nods in agreement, “As expected of Mina.”

Sana takes a picture but does not buy the ring.

“I thought you were going to get it,” Mina reacts and Sana just smiles at her.

“It’s not for me to get.”

  
  


Sana excuses herself to go to the washroom, leaving Momo and Mina behind.

“You know what, I really like you, Mina-chan,” Momo says as they sit on the bench, watching the doves feeding in front of them.

Mina’s heart feels glad after hearing Momo's statement. She learned from Jeongyeon how hard it is to please Momo, and how she disliked Nayeon back then. “Thank you, Momoring. And I really like you too. I admire your friendship with Jeongyeon. She has told me a lot about you and what a wonderful friend you are,” Mina replies.

“She did?”

Mina nods.

“Then I’m glad.”

They look in front of them again, as more and more doves flock to feed.

“Mina-chan,” Momo says.

“Hmmm?”

“Please take good care of Jeongyeon. Love her. Adore her. And never leave her.”

Mina turns to Momo who is still looking at the doves, “I will.”

“That’s good. Please keep your word.”

Mina nods, “I will.”

Momo smiles, “Dan ben ik blij (Then I am happy).”

Silence follows. Momo’s eyes never leave the birds, and Mina looks up into the skies. Staring at the clouds slowly drifting in the wind.

“Tell me, Momoring,” Mina continues, looking at the older Japanese, “what’s the secret to your lasting friendship?”

Momo turns to her with utmost sincerity that makes Mina wanna think as pain. “The secret,” Momo smiles, “is to remain as friends.”

  
  


__________

_Momo stood by the Lake of Love’s edge, watching Jeongyeon and Mina stop in the middle of the Lover’s Bridge. Jeongyeon has finally found her Minna. She laughed the pain off of her chest as she watched Mina kiss Jeongyeon. It should be her. But it could never be her._

_“Why didn’t you tell her, Mo?”_

_The startled Momo turned to see Sana behind her. She directly wiped the tears off her face, faking a cough._

_“You can’t lie to me. I know. I have always known you are in love with Jeongyeon. And it bothered me as to why you can’t confess your feelings to her,” Sana hugged the older Japanese and Momo finally broke down in tears._

_“I can’t. I just can’t. She’s my best friend.”_

_“But you love her,” Sana said._

_“But she doesn’t love me back, Sana,” Momo murmured in Sana’s embrace. “She never did.”_

_Sana rubbed Momo’s back, comforting her._

_“I’m just a friend. That’s all I’ll ever be to her. Nothing more, nothing less.”_

_Sana began to cry too, feeling Momo’s pain._

_“She sees me as an older sister. Someone to run to when things fall apart. Someone who helps her pick up the broken pieces of her, but never one to give her heart to. Someone who shares her joy and pain, but never someone who is the reason behind her happiness.”_

_“Momoring,” Sana sobbed._

_“Do you know why I wanted to become a doctor, Sana?” Momo asked but wasn’t really hoping for any answer. “When we were little, Jeongyeon would come to me with bruises on her arms and knees. She would always come to me when she is in pain or scared that I vowed to become a doctor.” Momo chuckled bitterly at her state._

_“Isn’t it what doctors do? They heal the wounded, the sick, the people in pain? And Jeongyeon comes to me everytime her heart gets broken. That’s just my role as her doctor, to help her recover. But like any other patients, they leave when they are healed and come back when they’re sick again, and in Jeongyeon’s case when she’s broken again.”_

_Sana sobbed harder, feeling very sorry for her friend._

_“But this is where I let go,” Momo said. “It’s time to let go.”_

_Sana wanted to tell her that Jeongyeon loved her too. The truth was that when Jeongyeon kissed Momo when she was drunk, she remembered that night. She lied to Momo saying she remembered nothing. She remembered everything. She loved Momo but couldn’t get herself to tell her friend about it, scared it would destroy their friendship. Scared of losing Momo in her life._

_Sana even teased Jeongyeon about how the half-Korean has a thing for Japanese women. Sana knew Jeongyeon’s feelings for Momo back then._

_But there’s no point in telling Momo now. It’s too late._

_“It’s time to let go,” Momo’s words echo in her mind._

_“. . . this is where I let go.”_

  
  


__________

The five ladies later met up in MAS or Museum aan de Stroom located along the river Scheldt. The Museum aan de Stroom is 10 storeys high. Its collection comprises 500,000 items and is still accumulating more objects. They buy tickets and explore the museum storey per storey. Their last destination is the rooftop which gives a 360° view of Antwerp. 

Jeongyeon intertwines her fingers with Mina and the Japanese smiles. Jeongyeon kisses Mina’s hair and whispers, “Yours is the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

Mina leans her head on Jeongyeon’s shoulder. There is no question that she’s deeply in love with this woman. But her jealousy and insecurity feeds her fear of losing the person she so loves. “My smile exists because of you.”

“Baby,” Jeongyeon says.

“Yes?”

She wants to ask Mina to stay with her but she can’t be selfish. So maybe she will just wait until she hears it from her own lips - that she’s staying.

“I love you.” Jeongyeon murmurs. _Please stay with me._

“I love you too.” Mina replies. _Please ask me to stay._

  
  


__________

The ladies visit some historical places before taking the train back to Bruges. They go to the Grote Markt (Grand Place), Onze Lieve Vrouwkathedraal (The Cathedral of Our Lady) which is Belgium's largest Gothic church, Rubenshuis (Rubens' House), and Plantin-Moretus Museum. But what really excites Mina is their trip to the Chocolate Nation which is just across the Central Station. Chocolate Nation is the largest Belgian Chocolate museum in the world. Jeongyeon laughs, this probably is the highlight of their trip for Mina. She looks like she’s in cloud nine as she looks at the chocolates.

They went back to Bruges that afternoon with happiness and hope in their hearts. Hopeful of what the future will bring. Hopeful for more moments as these. Hopeful for more smiles that’s sweeter than any premium Belgian chocolates. Hopeful for a love that will last longer than diamonds.

  
  


__________

Nayeon tilts her phone to capture the right angle and perfect lighting before snapping a series of photos. Opposite her sits Jackson while beside her is Chaeyoung in a kiddie chair. She opens her Instagram account and uploads the picture with the caption: “Dinner with dear hubby and daughter. Good evening, everyone!” Jackson irritatedly slices through his steak. He hates it everytime Nayeon captures everything everywhere they go, like right now in this restaurant. Chaeyoung drops a spoon and Jackson tells Nayeon to pick it up.

“Why me? It’s closer to you.” Nayeon remarks.

Jackson shoots her a glare and picks up the spoon, “If you aren’t always on your phone then you could’ve paid more attention to Chae.”

Nayeon rolls her eyes and feeds Chaeyoung.

The warmth that can be seen on social media is not always true. There are millions of couples everywhere who project happiness and love, but aren’t really what they seem. Fake. Pretend. Deceiving people around them that they're happy, but are in a toxic relationship.

Jackson proceeds with his dinner while Nayeon takes care of their daughter.

“Mama, ik wil pipi doen (Mama, I need to pee.),” the toddler says.

Nayeon looks at Jackson, “Chae and I are going to the washroom.” Jackson does not even react, acting as though he hasn’t heard anything.

She gets up and takes Chaeyoung with her to the toilet. “Mama, is papa boos op mij (Mama, is papa angry with me)?”

Nayeon crouches and looks and looks at Chaeyoung in eye level, “Nee. Waarom denkt je dat? Papa houdt van jou. (No. Why do you think that? Papa loves you.)”

“Want hij schreeuw soms op mij. En Mommy doet dat nooit. Mommy houdt van mij. Papa niet. (Because he yells sometimes at me. And Mommy does not do that. Mommy loves me. Papa don’t.)” The little tot says.

“Papa is gewoon moe, schatje. Maar hij houdt heel veel van jou. (Papa is just tired, my dear. But he loves you so much.)” Nayeon comforts her daughter.

Chaeyoung begins to cry, remembering her Mommy Yeon. “Ik heb Mommy gemist! (I miss Mommy!)” Nayeon wipes the tears off her child’s eyes. They are hoping she will forget Jeongyeon in time, but seeing Chaeyoung like this breaks her heart. She begins to shed her own tears. Life with Jeongyeon was wonderful, but she was dreaming of something else. She was ungrateful for what she had. And she regrets it. She regrets it so bad.

She checks her face in the mirror and puts on some makeup to hide her pain. She chose this life. If only she could turn back time.

They leave the restroom and go back to their table when suddenly Chaeyoung lets go of her hand and runs towards . . .

Jeongyeon!

Jeongyeon is here!

Nayeon’s heart races at the sight of her. It’s been some time. And she terribly misses her.

“Mommy!” Chaeyoung runs full speed towards Jeongyeon and jumps into her arms.

Jeongyeon is taken by surprise, she hugs the child tightly as tears stream down her face. “Mommy! Ik heb je gemist! Ik hou van jou! (Mommy! I miss you! I love you!)” Chaeyoung keeps repeating. “Mommy! Ik heb je gemist! Ik hou van jou! Ik wil naar huis gaan! (I want to go home!)”

Jeongyeon peppers Chaeyoung’s face with kisses. Hugging the child tightly.

Nayeon can’t move her feet as she watches the reunion. Jeongyeon loves Chaeyoung with all her heart. She knows it, she saw it. But she was so stupid to separate the two. Jeongyeon was a better mother than her, but her stupidity took the better of her. She wanted to show to her family that she’s living a “normal” life here. A normal and frustrating life.

Jackson spoils her and Chaeyoung with material things. But he is barely there. And when he is home is in his office, working or talking on the phone. Their meal times are silent and cold. And she misses those days with Jeongyeon that their table was filled with laughter and stories of how their days went. How Jeongyeon hugged her when she got back home. How Jeongyeon massages her back and legs because she was exhausted. How Jeongyeon never forgets anniversaries and birthdays. How Jeongyeon makes sure her car is tanked or washed. How Jeongyeon brought her breakfast to bed because she’s too lazy to get up. How Jeongyeon makes sure her car is warmed up before she goes to work on freezing winter mornings. How Jeongyeon looked at her as though she is the most beautiful woman in the world. How Jeongyeon loved her despite how she treated her.

And she traded it all for a “normal” family with Jackson.

Chaeyoung turns to her and points, “Kijk, Mama is hier! (Look, Mama is here)”

Jeongyeon turns to her. Their eyes meet. And Nayeon begins to weep. But Jeongyeon looks away and turns to the woman on the other side of the table and holds her hand.

_Oh. She’s with someone new._

All hopes of getting back together crash beneath her feet. She’s stupid. Very stupid to think Jeongyeon will always be there, waiting for her. Jeongyeon looks at the woman and her heart breaks. She used to look at her that way.

Jeongyeon gets up with Chaeyoung in her arms and walks towards her. The closer she gets, the more painful it is. “I’m sorry. I know I am not . . .” Jeongyeon says but stops, Chaeyoung must not hear that she is not allowed to see the child. Nayeon nods and takes Chaeyoung from Jeongyeon.

“Wanneer gaan wij terug naar huis?” Chaeyoung asks Nayeon, asking when they will go back to Jeongyeon’s house.

Nayeon does not answer the question. Instead she tells Chaeyoung Papa Jackson is waiting. But before she can walk away, Jeongyeon reaches for her hand and stops her.

Nayeon looks at her, Jeongyeon catches a glimpse of her bruised arm.

“Nay, did he do this?” Jeongyeon’s eyes were firm as her words.

Nayeons shrugs off her grip and says, “No, I fell. That’s how I got it.” A lie. But she can’t tell Jeongyeon that Jackson raised a hand on her on one of their arguments. She can’t tell her how badly he treats her. She just can’t admit to her she made a mistake by leaving her.

“Don’t lie to me. There’s no way that’s from falling.”

“Whatever, Jeong. My husband is waiting. Good night.” Nayeon says and walks towards the other end of the restaurant with a crying child in her arms, reaching for Jeongyeon.

“Ik wil bij Mommy Yeon zijn! Ik wil bij Mommy Yeon zijn! (I want to be with Mommy Yeon! I want to be with Mommy Yeon!)”

Nayeon tries to console the child, they’re attracting unwanted attention. More than that she doesn’t want Jackson to know about the run-in with Jeongyeon.

“Mommy Yeon! Maar Ik wil bij Mommy Yeon zijn! (But I want to be with Mommy Yeon!)”

Jeongyeon watched Nayeon walk away with a squirming Chaeyoung in her arms, still reaching out towards her. She watched them leave until they were out of sight. This is no place to be emotional but she couldn’t help it. Tears stream down her cheeks. She misses her daughter so much. And the wound she’s been tending has been opened and rubbed with salt.

She turns around and sees Mina standing not far behind her. She walks towards her and hugs the Japanese woman, not saying a word. Mina hugs her just as tight. They leave the restaurant shortly after with broken hearts.

  
  


__________

Mina knows she’s in no position to feel bad with what happened. It was unplanned. But seeing how affected Jeongyeon still is upon seeing Nayeon, and how worried she got after seeing a bruise on her arm makes her very jealous. So jealous that she begins to question again if Jeongyeon really loves her.

In two days they will be going back to Austria. Maybe when they’re back there things will go back to normal. Just them. No complications. She has decided to extend her stay for Jeongyeon.

She thinks of her conversation with Momo the other day. And she’s committed to keeping her end of the promise. Mina pours another glass of wine. She’s hurt. And her insecurities are eating on her from the inside. Nayeon after all is very pretty. Very very pretty.

And she feels so bad upon seeing how Jeongyeon misses Chaeyoung. The beautiful child deserves all the love in the world. Chaeyoung turned to her and smiled, “Jij bent zo mooi (You are so beautiful.)”

Mina smiled at the kid. Jeongyeon told Chaeyoung who was, “Dit is Mina, jouw tante Myoui Mina. (This is MIna, your aunt Myoui Mina.)”

“Mooi Mina? (Beautiful Mina?)” Chaeyoung asked.

“Myoui Mina,” Jeongyeon repeated.

“Ja, Mooi Mina (Yes, Beautiful Mina),” the child said.

“Hi, Chaeyoungie,” Mina chuckled. Like mother, like daughter. (Please check out the chapter Koffie, Thee en Mi)

Chaeyoung turned towards the woman standing not far away, “Kijk, Mama is hier!”

She followed the direction where Chaeyoung pointed and saw Nayeon.

Right at that very moment she feels as though she is robbing Chaeyoung of the happiness by being with Jeongyeon. That’s illogical, she admits. But still she feels that way. And seeing Nayeon and Chaeyoung with Jeongyeon roused insecurities from inside her.

Jeongyeon isn’t back yet. She refused to accompany Jeongyeon to bring some bread she baked to Sana and Dahyun. She stayed at home and found a bottle of wine. Now she’s drinking the night away with jealousy growing by each passing minute.

Mina’s not at all used to drinking so much that she begins to feel so warm. She walks towards the kitchen, leaving a trail of clothes behind. She isn’t thinking anymore. She just needs to feel cooler. Not long after she opens the refrigerator, Jeongyeon opens the front door and looks for her.

“Baby, I’m home!” Jeongyeon calls, no answer.

She closes the door and walks towards the leaving, only to find a half empty bottle of red wine and Mina’s shirt on the couch. She picks it up and looks around. She finds Mina’s pair of pants, sprawling on the floor. She bends over and retrieves it, following a trail of clothes left haphazardly on the floor. Like a game of treasure hunting, except that the clues aren’t hidden.

Her penguin is drunk.

The trail of clothes led her to the kitchen, finding a goddess crouching in front of the open refrigerator . . . in her birth suit. Jeongyeon gulps. Yes, she is drunk. But yes, she’s damn hot, literally and figuratively speaking.

“Babe,” is all she could muster.

“Hi, baby,” Mina’s drunk voice comes out seductively as her gaze. Jeongyeon feels her face burning warm. This is not the right time to get turned on. She’s drunk for pete’s sake!

Mina gets up, steadying herself with the refrigerator door. Jeongyeon hurries to her side as she is groggy. Mina chuckles, “I’m fine. I’m not that drunk.”

Jeongyeon shakes her head, “Yes, you are.”

“I said NO!”

The authority in Mina’s voice surprised her. The Japanese motions her to sit on one of the chairs..

“Oh. Okay.” Jeongyeon complies. “ Do you need anything, baby?” she further asks.

“Yes.”

“What do you need, babe?” she asks again.

Mina gracefully sits on her lap, facing her. Jeongyeon gulps again. She doesn’t know where to look. Mina stares at her. Her seductive gaze, the playful smirk and the lustful bite on her lower lip dissolve Jeongyeon’s resolve.

“You,” Mina replies as she runs her fingers over her lips.

Jeongyeon is beyond shocked what wine can do to her shy penguin.

Mina runs her fingers through Joengyeon’s blond hair and tugs it a little too aggressively but not enough to hurt her, only to tilt her head backwards. She gazes down at the woman beneath her. “You’re mine, Yoo Jeongyeon. Mine. Alone.” Mina says before seductively licking Jeongyeon’s neck. Jeongyeon’s eyes widen at her aggressiveness. What happened to her shy penguin?

Mina starts to undress her in slow motion, she is after all very drunk. She hears Mina’s soft breathing and she knows she’s gonna fall asleep soon. And she’s right, before she could even take Jeongyeon’s shirt off, she’s already leaning on the taller woman - asleep, snoring softly against Jeongyeon’s neck. Jeongyeon smiles and carries the sleeping woman in her arms and lays her comfortably under the blankets. She takes a pair of pajamas and puts them on Mina.

It takes longer than usual, especially when she pauses once in a while to appreciate the beauty in front of her. 

Jeongyeon reaches for her pocket and smiles, feeling the small box in her hand.

  
  


__________

It is 10 in the morning when Jeongyeon wakes up to the ringing of her phone. She looks at the woman who’s still sleeping soundly while using her shoulder as a pillow. She reaches for her phone, trying no to wake her girlfriend up. Jeongyeon rubs her eyes to see the phone screen better. Nayeon. Nayeon is calling her.

She answers the call and instantly hears the terror in her ex-wife’s voice.

“Jeong, it’s Chaeng,” a cold shiver runs down her spine. She doesn’t have to hear more. She knows her daughter is in trouble.


End file.
